Superman #708 & Batman and Robin #20: Two Comics Going Totally Opposite Directions

For 8 months now, comic book readers have had to deal with ongoing criticism of J. Michael Straczynski's vision in the "Grounded" storyline. As far as where the hell his story was even going was starting to get annoying because generally speaking a lengthy storyline get's its point across at least 3 issues in. Finally with Superman #708, we get to the point after 2 filler comics due to JMS being busy writing Superman: Earth One. Unfortunately, we won't be able to get JMS' true vision because he is only a story consultant now, due to him writing Superman: Earth One #2. As such, we instead get Chris Roberson to write. I'll just say this flat out: Chris Roberson is not a good writer. His dialogue is stiff, unnatural, and just plain boring. A villain has finally been revealed, but of course it needs to be as vague as possible. Superman runs into the retconned Wonder Woman for the first time, thinking she looks familiar somehow. I was hoping for a lot more out of the meeting of JMS' stories, but what we got was just one panel of the duo speaking to each other. The next few issues had better make up for "Grounded"'s continuing disappointment, because at this rate "Grounded" is going underground. I haven't given a rating to an individual comic in a storyline prior to conclusion, but I feel this one in particular needs one.

Final Score: 1 Stolen Idea from Grant Morrison out of 5

On the flip side, Batman and Robin is going to go in parts unknown, getting a new regular writer for the first time in its short history. Peter J. Tomasi and Patrick Gleason have gained notoriety for Brightest Day and Green Lantern Corps., so it's hard to imagine they'll screw up Batman and Robin. To start their run, they've crafted a 3-part story titled "Dark Knight, White Knight." It's pretty obvious they know what they're doing since they started off the entire story by having Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Tim, and Damian all sit down together and watch The Mark of Zorro, the movie that Bruce describes as "the ending and beginning of something," clearly a reference to the fact that Grant Morrison is no longer the regular writer for Batman and Robin and that Tomasi is going to get criticism and/or praise for not being Morrison. It's a pretty short story, but Tomasi knows exactly how to capture Damian's loveable douchebaggery and Commissioner Gordon's intolerance for disrespect of the dead.

Really, what separates Damian Wayne from Jason Todd is that while Jason was just an asshole from the streets with a chip on his shoulder, Damian was raised to believe he was better than everyone and features no such grudge against anyone; Damian can still be influenced by others and the writers at DC have done a damn good job taming and humanizing him. I'm not a fan of Bruce and Dick both being Batman, but I also love the dynamic and chemistry Dick has with Damian as Batman & Robin; pairing Bruce and Damian together would be far too similar to Bruce and Jason's relationship. Here's looking forward to Tomasi and Gleason's run together.

No rating on this comic until #22 is published.

Super Bowl XLV: Exactly as Predicted, Yet Not Boring at All

Photo taken from Sportsillustrated.com

The Green Bay Packers are Super Bowl champions for the first time since Brett Favre did it back in the 90s. And yet, no one really cares because we already knew they would win when they won in the Wild Card round. Nobody could have predicted the Steelers would make the Super Bowl after losing Ben Roethlisberger for the first 4 games, but they did it anyway, overcoming supposedly better teams and negative opinions by fans and analysts. But it didn't matter, the Packers entered the playoffs as potentially the most dangerous team in the league and they lived up to it. With the defeat of the Saints and the Packers overcoming the Eagles, everything was sealed.

Everyone predicted a close game. Everyone predicted a shoot-out. Everyone predicted no hard feelings from either side. Everyone predicted the Packers would win due to their defense and Aaron Rodgers throwing perfectly placed passes. Suffice it to say, the Super Bowl lived up to everyone's expectations. So how does something go exactly as planned but not seem boring? One word: Drama.

It was impossible to not turn your head and find drama somewhere during the Super Bowl. Players getting injured and being taken out of the game? Oh, no, no, no, the drama was far more intense than that! To begin the evening, Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys and Cowboys Stadium charged people $900 to stand outside in the cold and watch the game on a large screen. Next up, it was discovered that over 400 people would have to be excused from the Super Bowl due to overbooking. The Dallas Cowboys organization immediately promised a triple value refund for all displaced fans. Not like that matters, because they still had to pay for flight and hotel, and many fans paid extra money to scalpers. Next up in the evening, Christina Aguilera performed one of her infamously long and vibrato-ridden renditions of "The Star Spangled Banner." For some reason, people think that Aguilera performs the national anthem beautifully. I personally think she rapes it of all emotion and meaning whenever she sings it. Tonight, she raped it (albeit unintentionally) by flubbing a line in the middle of the song. She definitely realized the flub, saying "thank you" very meekly after she finished the song. All this was even before the game started!

The halftime show was well-anticipated, the NFL finally trusting a contemporary band to perform for the first time since the Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake "Nipplegate" incident. Ever since then, the halftime show was headlined by Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, and The Who, all singers and groups that people of the key 15-30 demographic had no involvement in whatsoever. Finally, Roger Goodell felt it was time to let the past stay the past and hired the Black Eyed Peas to do the halftime show, effectively welcoming back contemporary artists. There was still drama and surprise involved, when Slash of Guns n' Roses fame made an appearance and Usher briefly performed. The show went off flawlessly and without controversy, displaying that it was OK for contemporary artists to take the stage once again.

But there was one giant thing looming over everyone's heads and it became especially notable once the FOX analysts and commentators never mentioned it: the looming CBA negotiations. We may have just watched the final football game of 2011 as talks are going to heat up and neither side relents. If a lockout does end up happening, we could be looking forward to seeing another potential lockout happen with the NBA and its own CBA problems. If football and basketball were to both be locked out, expect massive change in the sports world, with sports fanatics tuning back into baseball for the regular season and even watching hockey to get their fix. If such a double lockout were to happen, it's entirely likely Roger Goodell and David Stern could both lose their jobs.

Pray for a double lockout, if only to improve both the NFL and NBA in the long run. An NFL lockout could also possibly accelerate a team moving to Los Angeles.

The Invincible Iron Man #500.1

With new Editor-in-Chief, with new parent company, with new year, comes a wave of new thought from Marvel Comics. I've been avoiding Marvel like the plague for the last 10 years, the company responsible for Daken, Wolverine's bisexual son, X-23, Wolverine's female clone "daughter", the death of Captain America, the resurrection of Bucky, the "dead" Jean Grey forcing Cyclops and Emma Frost to get together, One More Day, House of M, and allowing Spider-Man 3's script to exist. Suffice it to say, I have been against everything Marvel has stood for the past 10 years that Joe Quesada served as Editor-in-Chief.

To start off 2011, Marvel has decided to publish ".1" comics, serving as a method for the reader to catch up on everything that has happened in the character's canon and also to partially setup the next story arc. In the case of The Invincible Iron Man, Marvel also decided to completely do away with their Volume system and just do the numbering straight. As such, Invincible Iron Man #500 was printed, rather than Invincible Iron Man Vol. 5 #34.

Invincible Iron Man #500.1 is a rather simple comic book story, but it recounts the entirety of Iron Man's history while also moving the plot in a way only Tony Stark could possibly do: telling his story at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. The art inside is fantastic and the writing is just as brilliant. 500.1 serves as the perfect comic book, something both longtime and new readers can enjoy. The end of the issue provides 8 images that make absolutely no sense, but of course will by the time the year is up. I'm looking forward to any other .1 issue Marvel decides to publish, hopefully one for Spider-Man that will once and for all settle what the fuck One More Day did.

Final Score: 5 cups of coffee out of 5

2011 NBA All-Star Team Full Rosters Revealed, and the NBA Coaches are Revealed to be Idiots

It's almost time for the NBA All-Star Game, the most exciting all-star game of the four major sports. It's only played for bragging rights, it marks the point in the season when teams start getting serious, and legends are born during the 3-point shootout and slam dunk competitions. Not only that, but we get to see the best players in the world play with each other once a year; the only other time we get to see players of this caliber on the same teams is during the Olympics. There has been some major controversy this season, however, because many people got voted to the all-star team when most felt they either didn't deserve it, or others deserved it more.

First up, the starters voted by the fans:

Western Conference

• Guard: Chris Paul     (New Orleans Hornets)
• Guard: Kobe Bryant     (Los Angeles Lakers)
• Forward: Kevin Durant     (Oklahoma City Thunder)
• Forward: Carmelo Anthony     (Denver Nuggets)
• Center: Yao Ming     (Houston Rockets)

Eastern Conference

• Guard: Derrick Rose     (Chicago Bulls)
• Guard: Dwyane Wade     (Miami Heat)
• Forward: LeBron James     (Miami Heat)
• Forward: Amar'e Stoudemire     (New York Knicks)
• Center: Dwight Howard     (Orlando Magic)

What name among those stands out as an anomaly? Yes, you saw it correctly, Yao Ming was voted as an All-Star despite the fact he has played less than 5 games this season. Because he has not retired (and many feel he needs to), he was allowed to get votes for the all-star team. Gee, I wonder what country voted for him 800,000 times? Andrew Bynum received second place voting for West center.

Next up are the reserves, voted by the NBA coaches. The all-star coaches are not allowed to vote for their own players.

Western Conference

• Guard: Russell Westbrook     (Oklahoma City Thunder)
• Guard: Deron Williams     (Utah Jazz)
• Guard: Manu Ginobili     (San Antonio Spurs)
• Forward: Blake Griffin     (Los Angeles Clippers)
• Forward: Tim Duncan     (San Antonio Spurs)
• Forward: Pau Gasol     (Los Angeles Lakers)
• Forward: Dirk Nowitzki     (Dallas Mavericks)

 Eastern Conference

• Guard: Rajon Rondo     (Boston Celtics)
• Guard: Ray Allen     (Boston Celtics)
• Guard: Joe Johnson     (Atlanta Hawks)
• Forward: Paul Pierce     (Boston Celtics)
• Forward: Kevin Garnett     (Boston Celtics)
• Forward: Chris Bosh     (Miami Heat)
• Center: Al Horford     (Atlanta Hawks)

Those reserves on both sides are absolute horseshit. As great as Pau Gasol is, Lamar Odom has been having a much better year. And as great as Odom has been, the best Forward in the entire league this year has been Kevin Love of the Minnesota Timberwolves. Andre Miller of the Portland Trailblazers is mad that Blake Griffin was selected as an all-star over his teammate LaMarcus Aldridge, but the fact of the matter is that Blake Griffin is averaging better numbers than Aldridge and he's a rookie, compared to Aldridge's 10 years in the league.

The East is even worse. Why in the hell are Joe Johnson, Chris Bosh, and Al Horford on the all-star team? Where's Josh Smith? No Carlos Boozer? No Shaq for the second year in a row? Pitiful, just pitiful.

There is a silver lining in all of this, and it comes from... David Stern? Yes, David Stern, the man long blamed for killing the NBA. Because Yao Ming is out with a foot injury, he got the one vote for naming Yao's replacement. Rather than simply choose Bynum since he got 2nd place in voting, Stern with the smart choice and voted Kevin Love as per fan and analyst demands. The Western team at this point looks like it will absolutely demolish the East with the help of all its young, raw talent.

The Yankees Are Fucked... At Least For Now

Today, Andy Pettite announced his retirement from baseball. Pettite is best remembered for spending almost his entire career with the New York Yankees, winning 5 championships with them, and being an admitted steroid user. Granted, he claims that his steroid usage was to help him recover from an injury, but the fact remains that he juiced and admits it. Pettite is one of the last members of the Roid Ragers from my childhood, among Mark McGwire, Jose Canseco, Sammy Sosa, Rafael Palmeiro, Jason Giambi, and Barry Bonds. Seeing him go is both a welcome sight and also an ever-closing chapter from my childhood.

What makes the Yankees fucked is despite Pettite's age, he was still one of the Yankees' premier pitchers until the end. With his retirement, the Yankees now only have C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett to rely upon as starting pitchers, probably the two worst starting pitchers of all of last year's playoff teams. The Yankees were unable to sign Cliff Lee and with A.J. Burnett's increasingly worse performance, the Yankees will have to rely more than ever on their sluggers.... Except they're starting to get old too. Their only reliable home run hitters at this point are Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez, but their numbers dropped last season. Probably the most obvious sign that the Yankees have admitted defeat is their current plan for DH is Jorge Posada, their best catcher, and someone not known for hitting homers consistently.

The reason I ended this post with "For Now" is because... c'mon it's the Yankees! They can just buy whoever the hell they want and bring everything back to status quo. Of course, they could just decide to screw all that and follow the business model that the Giants did (which more teams, most notably the Phillies are copying), just load up the staff with elite pitchers to the point that the skill of the batters doesn't matter.

Not like it matters anyway, the Giants have a strong capability of repeating as World Series champions since Lincecum, Cain, Sanchez, and Bumgarner are all returning next season. And last I checked, none of the Phillies' pitchers have been able to defeat the Giants more than once.

It May Be Time to Panic in Lakers Land

The Lakers have played at an unacceptable level this season. With no wins against the Celtics, Spurs, Mavericks, or Heat thus far, the Lakers may have a similar record to last year at this point, but they have been blessed with having one of the easiest first halves of a season ever. There are several guilty parties involved and these are the top offenders:

Andrew Bynum
Yes, he didn't play until November, but that was his own fault. After re-injuring his right knee shortly before the 2010 playoffs, Bynum decided not to have surgery on it until after the playoffs because he knew how much his team needed him to repeat as champions. Most people expected Bynum to have surgery ASAP once they won the NBA championship, but Bynum decided to decline surgery because he would not be able to travel to South Africa and attend the World Cup. He was there the entire month. After returning stateside and having his knee looked at, it was determined that his knee was even more severely injured than previously thought. If Bynum had his surgery immediately after the Finals, he could have missed at most the first 2 or 3 weeks of the regular season. Not like it matters though, Bynum seems to have injured his knee again (though thankfully, not a serious injury). Bynum has also been playing like crap this season, a testament to his crappy knees and amazing ability to get easily distracted.

Ron Artest
Artest always has been and always will be a competitive player. But one of the problems with Ron Artest as a Laker is he has been spending far too much time passing the ball and playing defense rather than be the 3-point shooter that he is. Although his defense certainly helped lead to the last championship, his clutch 3-point shooting also got the Lakers there. Artest said after the Finals that he was going to give up smoking pot. At this point, it looks like he should go back to smoking the herb because his play was much better!

Steve Blake
Blake has been guilty of the same things Artest has been, spending too much time setting other players up and not taking his own shots. Blake was even primarily hired because of his 3-point shooting abilities! C'mon Steve, just shoot some threes!

Derek Fisher
Fisher's playing days are clearly over. He's had one of his worst seasons ever thus far and is clearly out of gas. The Lakers need to move Fisher to the bench and let Shannon Brown take over as the starting PG so that Fisher can flourish as he did during his first stint as a Laker.

Mitch Kupchak
The genius architect of the Pau Gasol trade also managed to (at this point) foolishly trade away Sasha Vujacic in exchange for aging veteran Joe Smith, who has yet to play longer than 5 minutes in a game. He's recently threatened to make a trade in order to re-invigorate the Lakers, but that clearly didn't work seeing how horrible they played defense in their game against the Rockets today. Kupchak needs to pull off one of his legendary moves and either trade away what's definitely not working (Bynum), or trade away the excess (Caracter, Ebanks, Ratliff, Smith) to get one player that can re-ignite the Lakers.

If something big doesn't happen by the Trade Deadline, I doubt the Lakers can even make it to the Western Conference Finals.


Unless of course, the Lakers Playoff Switch continues to exist....

It worked pretty well the last two years against the Rockets and Thunder.

Holy Shit, Square Enix is Becoming the Best Japanese 3rd Party Video Game Company

Well, Square Enix is apparently on a roll this year, looking to satisfy their many American fans. First we got word that Dissidia 012 will be released only 3 weeks after the Japanese version (and in the same month no less), then we hear that Type-0 would receive a summer release this year, and finally news that Final Fantasy XIII-2 would take into account people's (American's) complaints of the original game. Just to throw everyone for an even bigger loop, Square Enix announced that The 3rd Birthday, the long awaited sequel to Parasite Eve 2, would receive an American release March 29, 2011, not only about 3 months after the Japanese release (extremely fast for a non-remake from Square Enix), but also only seven days after Dissidia 012 is released here. Square Enix is clearly trying to lump these two games together to make quite an epic March for the PSP.

As if that weren't huge enough news, SE also released the main voice actors for the English version, Yvonne Strahovski as Aya Brea and Jensen Ackles as Kyle Madigan. I'm a bit disappointed that Ali Hillis could not voice Aya like Maaya Sakamoto voiced Lightning and Aya to make Aya's Lightning costume that much more hilarious, but Strahovski is a damn fine voice actress, something that most live action actors struggle with, especially with video games. Although I've never seen Supernatural (although I'm told it's quite the manly show despite it being on the CW), I have heard Ackles in Batman: Under the Red Hood playing Jason Todd/Red Hood where he was absolutely fantastic.

I have a feeling I'm going to run out of money this year on all the games I'm getting....