Had Enough of the NFL Lockout Drama? Here's the Even More Dramatic NBA Lockout!

About a decade ago, in a sports league not so different from this one...

NBA LOCKOUT
Episode I: Departing Heroes

It was a time of great change. The Bulls Wars had just ended, the great hero Michael Jordan had decided that he was done saving the sports world from the clutches of the evil ones known as Charles Barkley, Karl Malone, and the Portland Trail Blazers. It was a time of great change and uncertainty as none was sure who would lead the NBA to prosperity. In the time of the NBA's greatest triumph, the evil one known as David the Stern, NBA commissioner, reared its ugly head.

David the Stern had once been a mere messenger for the commissioner's office, working as a lawman, but when the previous commissioner decided that the heroes of the galaxy deserved no rights, David demonstrated his incredibly lawyer powers by utterly losing his case in a landslide victory for the players. Because of his total ineptitude as a lawyer, it was obvious that he should be given a promotion and become the assistant commissioner. Shortly after, the commissioner, Larry of Brien, died a tragic death, long overdue. David the Stern became the new "leader" and proceeded to do all he could to ruin everyone's lives.

This time, David the Stern decided that the heroes should be paid less money and the ones paying the heroes deserved more money and that more heroes should be allowed, despite an already excessive amount. The heroes decided they would not agree to this, waging a strike, and thus, the Lockout began. Many moons later, the Lockout finally ended, but not without casualties. 32 battles needed to be cancelled, never to be made up. Legions of heroes who had no business in a battle of champions fought due to the missing 32. In the end, a new legion of heroes was crowned, the Spurs of San Antonio, led by David, son of Robin.

Peace seemed to return to the NBA, but that peace was only short-lived....


Yes, the NBA lockout has officially begun, for the 2nd time in 12 years. Is this really going to happen every time a CBA expires in the NBA? The NBA and NBPA are so far apart on the issues that we may realistically lose an entire season of basketball because the NBA owners want a hard salary cap instead of a soft salary cap. The way things work now, every dollar paid over the salary cap is doubled and comes out of the owner's pocket. Because of this, very wealthy owners can afford to pay over the salary cap and assemble super-teams like the Miami Heat. Miami's ease of recruiting talent and making it to the NBA Finals in just 1 season seriously scared the owners of every other team, knowing that-that was possible in any franchise with a rich owner unafraid of spending money, like with the Lakers, Knicks, Celtics, Mavericks, and Wizards.

The players want to maintain a soft salary cap because under the hard salary cap rule, the owners would end up making more money and taking salaries away from players. For veteran players, this isn't really a big deal, but for people barely entering the NBA and bench players, this can have serious repercussions. Even though we all hear about how many millions of dollars Kobe, LeBron, and the rest make, bench players and newbies don't make that much money if they don't have an endorsement deal with anyone.

Let the battles begin, because by the end of this thing, David Stern is very likely to no longer be commissioner.

HOSTILE TAKEOVER PART II!

The McCourt vs Selig drama just never seems to end! MLB commissioner Bud Selig demonstrated earlier this week that he apparently has the power to halt divorces, by blocking Fox Sports and the Dodgers entering a new TV deal, a deal that would have settled the McCourt divorce. Frank McCourt was not thrilled with this news, taking immediate action to have the LA Dodgers declare chapter 11 bankruptcy. The Dodgers were then revealed to owe millions of dollars, from $22 million to Manny Ramirez (who doesn't even play baseball anymore), to the company that makes Dodger Dogs, to even poor Vin Scully who is owed more than $150,000, yet continues to go to work everyday working play-by-play.

By the Dodgers filing for bankruptcy, Bud Selig has now claimed that he has full authority to take over the team, not just financial operations, and sell it to the highest bidder if need. This opens the door who a whole slew of investors who know that the Dodgers, despite being a sub-par team currently, have tons of potential being one of the oldest teams in American sports.

Currently, most people (meaning ESPN, Fox Sports, Sports Illustrated, and Yahoo! Sports) have been advocating Mark Cuban purchase the Dodgers, turning the franchise around the way he did the Dallas Mavericks. This idea is actually pretty popular, slowly gaining traction and even got Cuban an appearance on TMZ to discuss the pros and cons of buying the Dodgers. One thing that was not mentioned is that many speculators believe that if the Dodgers do go for sale to the highest bidder, the winning bid could be in the range of $1 billion+, making it the most valuable sports club in the entire world.

I, for one, welcome our new billion dollar overlords. The Dodgers haven't done shit in decades and are continuous playoff chokers, while the cross-town rival Angels have won a World Series in the past 10 years (which the Dodgers haven't even come close to) and arch-rival San Francisco Giants won the World Series last year for the first time since before color television. Dodger Stadium is also a giant piece of crap these days, in serious need of an LA style face lift. The stadium isn't secure, something that fans are well aware of since the Opening Day beating of Giants fan Brian Stow.

Leland Ye is a Moron

Leland Ye, author of the violent video games law that was just struck down today is officially a moron. In a prepared statement, Ye made his opinion known:

"As a result of their decision, Wal-Mart and the video game industry will continue to make billions of dollars at the expense of our kids' mental health and the safety of our community. It is simply wrong that the video game industry can be allowed to put their profit margins over the rights of parents and the well-being of children." -Leland Ye (D), California

Ye is a child psychologist, which is where he got his ideas that video games are destructive to the mental health of children. Unfortunately for Ye, study after study has proven that video games are not as harmful as previously thought, typically generating an adrenaline rush that only lasts for 10-15 minutes, similar to having just watched an action movie or participating in sports. Despite all that, the reason the law was struck down had nothing to do with children's mental health, it had to do with how over-restrictive the law was.

Ye truly believes that the Supreme Court rules in favor of the Entertainment Software Association because it's all about how much money Wal-Mart will make. Ye needs to take a lesson in economics. For every new video game sold, the retailer makes about $2. Video game consoles make retailers about $5. Are either of those profitable? Not on your life. In reality, the majority of profit by retailers goes to video game accessories (not counting controllers) which generally have no MSRP. If any retailer truly makes money on selling games, it's Gamestop which is the king of used video game sales.

As far as the "safety of our community" line, it sounds like Ye belongs back in the mid 90s when there was intense debate about whether or not Mortal Kombat made children more violent or if Castle Wolfenstein played a role in the Columbine shootings. These days, we know that video games have no correlation to violent behavior, but do have correlation to neglectful behavior, especially in the case of Starcraft among South Koreans.

Ye left with one more little quote that really boggles the mind.

"While we did not win today, I am certain that this eight year legislative and legal battle has raised the consciousness of this issue for many parents and grandparents... and has forced the video game industry to do a better job at appropriately rating these games."

What. The. Fuck. Is he talking about? I'm going to go grab a copy of the game in my library with the most explicit content. Just a sec.




OK, I found Grand Theft Auto IV & Episodes From Liberty City. On the cover, there is a big ugly label that has a big fat M and above it, it says MATURE 17+. On the back, it says why it was given an M rating. The back has an even bigger label to accommodate the reasons for the rating:

Blood and Gore
Intense Violence
Nudity
Strong Language
Strong Sexual Content
Use of Drugs and Alcohol

I really don't understand Ye's last comment. That very appropriately summarizes every single explicit thing in GTA IV. How can you "appropriately" rate games better than that? Does Ye want the box to say in big fat letters "You can kill anyone you want"?

I've never been a big fan of most child psychologists, most arguing that new media is almost always to blame on bad behavior, but Ye's comments are just unbelievably ignorant and just wants to look good in his district so that he can get re-elected or make a push for national office. This defeat isn't going to look good on his part, wasting tax payer dollars on a law that was only in effect for a few months and eventually having the whole thing struck down by the Supreme Court.

U.S. Supreme Court Strikes Down California Violent Video Games Law

The Supreme Court ruled this morning, 7-2, to strike down the California law authored by Leland Ye and signed by Arnold Schwarzenegger in 2005 to ban the sale of "violent" video games to minors. The law was halted from being enacted in 2010 when a federal judge deemed it unconstitutional, but the Supreme Court wanted to take a closer look at the case. The court even said the existing ESRB rating system is adequate enough and an effective means for parents to control the games their children play. Judge Antonin Scalia wrote for the majority the following:

"As a means of assisting concerned parents it (the law) is seriously overinclusive because it abridges the First Amendment rights of young people whose parents (and aunts and uncles) think violent video games are a harmless pastime." -Supreme Court Justice, Antonin Scalia

Stephen Breyer and Clarence Thomas dissented, Breyer writing for the dissent:

"The First Amendment does not disable government from helping parents make such a choice here -- a choice not to have their children buy extremely violent, interactive games," -Supreme Court Justice, Stephen Breyer

But the other justices disagreed very much so with Breyer and Thomas, Scalia noting that the law reminded him of the numerous attempts by governments to ban comic books, movies, television, music lyrics, Grimm's Fairy Tales, and Snow White for their violent content. Clarence Thomas was much more blunt in his opinion of the First Amendment, sure to incite anger amongst all minors:

"The freedom of speech as originally understood, does not include a right to speak to minors, without going through the minors' parents or guardians," -Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas

I don't know where the fuck Thomas pulled that logic out. Minors have no right to free speech? YOUR OWN SUPREME COURT DISAGREES WITH THAT. As "originally understood'? Here is the text of the First Amendment:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or the of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances." -Amendment I, U.S. Constitution

Note that in the line about free speech, there isn't even a mention of the word "people." In fact, the only distinction the Constitution ever makes about age is the required age to run for congress and president, and the voting age (which has been frequently amended).

This news doesn't just affect minors, it affects adults who get carded for buying a fucking video game at places like Best Buy. Seriously, when I buy an M-rated game at Best Buy, I get carded because "it's store policy". Well fuck their store policy, the Supreme Court says my non-existing 5 year old son can buy Duke Nukem Forever if he chooses.

You Know What I Hate? Fucking Nitpickers.

This is Benzaie. He is French. He works for Channel Awesome (so you know right off the bat he's an idiot). A while back, Channel Awesome contributor TheSpoonyOne made a video bitching about how terrible The Legend of Zelda; The Wind Waker was. His main complaint was the art style, mostly complaining that Nintendo didn't make this game with more realistic graphics but keep the gameplay the same. Many shared this opinion, excited that The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess was going to be appeasing the fans who liked Wind Waker's gameplay, but hated the art.

But then assholes like Benzaie came along, completely unpleaseable. Twilight Princess' goal was to combine the best of Ocarina of Time with the best of Wind Waker, creating the perfect swan song for the Gamecube. Unfortunately, the game was delayed to the point that it also came out for the Wii, but it was still an awesome game. It's not the greatest Zelda game at all, but it is one of the better ones. Benzaie made a list of the "top 5 reasons why Twilight Princess sucks," implying that is in fact a bad game. In reality, it's actually a "top 2". Here are his top 2?:

1. Poor Game & Level Design Choices
1. Hates the skateboard(?); claiming that it is rarely used. He was probably referring to the Spinner.
2. Thinks the Double Clawshot was a lazy inclusion and that two clawshots is stupid.
3. Hates that the Magical Armor depletes rupees when used and costs so much money to get. Claims the Fierce Deity's Mask was better.
4. Thinks the Iron Boots were only used in one dungeon and complains that the mayor of Ordon gives it to you.
5. Claims the Gale Boomerang was not used at all after the first dungeon.
6. Hates that Wolf Link doesn't play very differently from Link (what?).
7. Hates the Howling Stones, Hawk Leafs, and Horse Grass.
8. Nitpicks that the songs that play when you slash an enemy in Wind Waker have been removed.
9. Thinks he was ripped-off by Nintendo for purchasing the Wii to play Twilight Princess.
2. Story & World
1. "Zero risk" of art direction and looks "exactly" like OoT.
2. Thinks Wind Waker was much more creative with it's art style, noticeably disagreeing with Spoony.
3. Complains about the forgettable Resistance characters.
4. Complains that the map is too similar to Ocarina of Time (what?).
5. Complains that Yeto's house, the Snowpeak Ruins, is a dungeon.
6. Disappointed by the Ooccoo being the Sky people.
7. Complains that Twilight Princess "doesn't follow the Zelda timeline"
8. Hated the ending with Midna destroying the Mirror of Twilight
9. Claims the game can be completed in less than 12 hours very easily.
10. Claims that you have to do the same things twice as Wolf Link and Link, mostly complaining about the Sacred Grove.
11. Complains about the bosses' difficulty, claiming they can be beaten in "seconds".
12. Thinks that Twilight Princess is more of an unofficial remake of Ocarina of Time.
13. Claims Zelda is its own genre and default every Zelda game is decent because no other game has copied its style
14. Expects Skyward Sword to have a double boomerang.

Now obviously, that's one of the worst organized Top 2's I've ever seen. It's entirely made up of nitpicking, which I will now debunk!

1. The Spinner is used quite extensively in the dungeon you get it, even used as the primary weapon against the boss. It is also used frequently in the City in the Sky and used to get several heart pieces around Hyrule.
2. The Double Clawshot turns you in Spider-Link! It's the closest Link gets to flying in Twilight Princess, which is why the 2nd clawshot is in the City in the Sky, which Benzaie keeps calling the "Sky Temple." Benzaie extensively complains that the Ooccoo considered the clawshot somehow important, but the City in the Sky is not a temple, it is a City that was once obviously occupied by people Link's size. It's made very obvious that the double clawshot is how people got around at one point.
3. The Magical Armor is actually very easy to get provided that you deliver hot springwater to Castle Town before donating the 2nd set of rupees to Malo Mart. There's no magic in the game, so how else could Link fuel his magic armor? In Wind Waker, the magic armor depleted your magic, so the only thing that could be depleted in Twilight Princess is your huge rupee collection. The Fierce Deity's Mask is only available at the very end of Majora's Mask, your prize for getting every mask, but the Magical Armor can be obtained very early.
4. The iron boots are used in two dungeons extensively, one more than Ocarina of Time or Wind Waker. Complaining that "your neighbor" gives them to you is pure nitpicking.
5. The Gale Boomerang is used infrequently, but it is still used every so often.
6. Wolf Link runs faster than Link, but he deliberately plays the same as Link so that one doesn't need to learn two different control schemes.
7. The songs played are in reference to Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, and Wind Waker, but they don't play a major part in the game. The only Howling Stone even required is the one to learn the Ending Blow.
8. He admits that he's nitpicking about the fighting songs and I do agree with him that they were fun in Wind Waker, but that was a much more cartoony game where you expect random sound effects while fighting.. It just wouldn't make much sense in Twilight Princess.
9. Nintendo made very clear that the Wii version of Twilight Princess had only limited functionality with the Wii, only able to incorporate the fishing game with true Wii controls. Nintendo never said the Wii version was any better, just that it would play a little bit differently than the Gamecube version due to being mirrored and having more on-screen items equipped.
10. TP has a much darker design than OoT and claiming it looks exactly the same is incredibly ignorant.
11. I actually agree with this point, but TP's point was to make a much darker game.
12. I agree with this one too. None of them are that memorable other than Rusl, who you meet at the beginning of the game.
13. The map is similar to OoT on purpose. By that logic, he should be complaining that OoT's map is too similar to A Link to the Past's map.
14. Snowpeak Ruins is definitely a dungeon that screams "wtf?" but what about Inside Jabu-Jabu's Belly? What about Beneath the Well (which was originally a house)? What about THE MOON?
15. There were hints everywhere that the Ooccoo were the Sky people, but the number of artifacts dealing with the Sky people imply that the Ooccoo didn't always look like face-chickens or may not even be the real Sky people if Skyward Sword is hinting at anything.
16. The Zelda Timeline is FAN-MADE. Nintendo has never confirmed that the timeline is real, only stating that a game comes before or after Ocarina of Time.
17. Benzaie needs better English, because it was stated numerous times why the Mirror had to be destroyed.
18. 12 hours on a first run is really stretching it. On a 2nd playthrough, one could probably complete the game in 12 hours while skipping a lot of heart pieces, but completing the game quickly most involves save-warping.
19. The only thing you do twice is the Sacred Grove, but you actually follow a different path. The Twilight areas are mostly to familiarize you with the new area since they are very large zones.
20. Some bosses are easier than others, but none can be completed in less than a minute.
21. If TP is a remake of OoT, then OoT is a remake of LttP, which is a remake of the original Zelda.
22. Apparently, Benzaie has never heard of Okami.
23. The double boomerang was already obtainable! It was Zora Link's ranged attack in Majora's Mask!

At the end of the video Benzaie even admits that he's going to get Skyward Sword even though he hates motion controls. Troll video or endless nitpicking? You decide.

The Top 3 NBA Free Agents, as Picked by Fox Sports (and why I agree)

According to Fox Sports, these are the top 3 Free Agents for the 2011 off-season: 1. Nene, 2. Tyson Chandler, and 3. Marc Gasol. Not only do I agree with them being in the top three, but I agree with their placement. Let's start at the bottom.

Marc Gasol was originally drafted by the Lakers, but had his draft rights traded to the Grizzlies as part of the deal that sent Pau Gasol to L.A.. Marc Gasol, at least until this season, never played at a level to make people think Memphis' trade was a great thing, filled with conspiracies that Jerry West was somehow behind the trade, despite not being affiliated with the Lakers or Grizzlies for many months at that point. But in the 2010-11 season and especially the 2011 playoffs, Marc Gasol performed far better than his older brother and helped lead his team to a stunning upset against the San Antonio Spurs. Coupled with the draft picks Memphis received in exchange for Pau and the cash value to hire free agents, the Grizzlies walked away with a very good deal in the long run. But now, Gasol's future in Memphis is uncertain as he is now a restricted free agent.

Although teams do have to pay more money than Memphis to grab him, the Grizzlies aren't exactly a huge money-making operation right now. If Gasol stays in Memphis with Zach Randolph and returning star Shane Battier, the Grizzlies could possibly become a powerhouse in the Western Conference. But there are going to be very tempting offers from teams with deep pockets, most notably the New York Knicks who desperately need a center that Amar'e Stoudemire cannot fill with his less than stellar reputation as a power forward who doesn't average a double-double.

Tyson Chandler was once viewed as finished after a serious toe injury that his own doctor admitted would never be fully repaired. The New Orleans Hornets thought this, which is why they shipped him off to Charlotte, who then traded him to Dallas. Surprisingly enough, Chandler was a huge key in the Mavericks winning the NBA championship, but the Mavericks have a giant elephant in the room: Tyson Chandler is an unrestricted free agent and can go where he pleases. He's in incredibly high demand, not just because of how surprisingly awesome he still is, but because he can choose to work anywhere he wants for as much or as little money as he pleases. Chandler could even choose to play for the team that drafted him, the Clippers, a team that has a lot of future potential, but missing an effective center. Marc Cuban has very deep pockets, but can he really win Tyson Chandler over and convince him to stay in Dallas?

Nene has been the starting center for the Denver Nuggets for much of the Carmelo Anthony era. With Anthony gone and a rapidly declining team led by the controversial Kenyon Martin, Nene doesn't have a lot of reasons to stay in Denver. Nene possesses something even more dangerous that being an unrestricted free agent: he has an early termination option. If a new agreement on his contract cannot be met, Nene will more than likely terminate his contract and seek employment elsewhere. With the new CBA as the elephant in the room, it seems highly unlikely that Denver will ever be able to keep him. As much as Tyson Chandler will be in demand, there's still a good chance he will remain a Maverick. There's little to no chance Nene will remain a Nugget.

More Man of Steel Casting News

Christopher Meloni of Law & Order: SVU fame has been cast as "a general". Nobody was very clear on what that means at all, but he will be shooting scenes with Superman in them, so he is apparently playing a major character, possibly helping Superman fight against Zod. Julia Ormond of Benjamin Button was also announced to have won the role of Lara Lor-Van, Superman's biological mother. Thus far, I haven't seen a single bad actor cast thus far in the movie, and David S. Goyer is writing the script. Could Man of Steel be shooting for the Oscar that The Dark Knight wasn't nominated for? Things are certainly starting to look that way, but we'll just have to see how many more big announcements in casting will be made, like who will play Perry White, Jimmy Olsen, and if Lex Luthor will make an appearance.