The David Fincher Spider-Man Movie That Never Happened

Before Sam Raimi was given the reins of making a Spider-Man movie, one of the directors scouted for directing the first Spider-Man was David Fincher, the director of such acclaimed films (at the time) as Seven, The Game, and Fight Club. Ever since Fincher rejected Spider-Man, he went on to direct Zodiac, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Social Network, and the just-released The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.


It's interesting to speculate how the Oscar-nominated and Golden Globe-winning director would have handled things, which until now was all guesswork. Recently however, Fincher revealed in an interview how his Spider-Man would have differed from Sam Raimi's. For starters, Fincher was not a fan of the overall tone of the film, saying he would not have made a Genesis story. Fincher says that the idea of Peter Parker being bitten by a red-and-blue radioactive spider that gives him super powers was laughable and he couldn't possibly direct the film with a straight face. He does say that he would have included the Green Goblin as the main villain, but he would have taken the approach that The Amazing Spider-Man is doing by including Gwen Stacy as Peter Parker's primary love interest.


And then Fincher was going to kill Stacy in the same manner as the comic books.


The movie was going to take an approach more similar to Batman, where Peter Parker has already been Spider-Man for quite some and is comfortable being a superhero. As far as explaining his origins, Fincher says the film would have opened with a 10-minute recap in music video or opera style, detailing how he got his powers, the death of Uncle Ben, and "the loss of Mary Jane"(?).


I really like David Fincher's movies. I really, really do. Seven and Zodiac are in my top 50 movies ever. That being said, I'm really glad Fincher rejected Spider-Man. Before Spider-Man, there was a trend in superhero movies to stray away from the source material to create more mainstream characters that the general public would like more. Since Spider-Man, comic book movies are sticking to the source material more than ever, especially as seen in Marvel's films. If David Fincher had directed Spider-Man, I don't think we would have ever gotten Thor, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, or Captain America.

Chris Benoit Movie Announced

It seems that the success of The Wrestler has led to the production of another wrestling movie, this time one based on the tragically true story of Chris Benoit. The movie, titled Crossface (referencing Benoit's signature move, the Crippler Crossface submission technique), will be based on Ring of Hell: The Story of Chris Benoit and the Fall of the Pro Wrestling Industry, originally written by Sarah Coulter.


There has been some mixed reactions to the production of Crossface, most saying that the film would be better suited as a documentary, rather than a biopic. Personally, I think the story of Benoit's life and death is so important that it needs to get out to the public in any way possible. The NFL is doing a much better job to treat head injuries these days, causing a great rift among old and young players and the public regarding the level of violence in football being toned down to better protect the players from suffering severe head trauma (I happen to believe that only good can from protecting the players).


Chris Benoit was a semi-famous wrestler in the WCW, being treated as a bit player while Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Randy Savage, Sting, and the NwO were able to dominate the stable. Knowing him and 3 other wrestlers to be extremely talented and having their talents wasted in WCW, WWF chairman Vince McMahon lured Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, and Perry Saturn to his stable, provoking more fuel to the flames of the Monday Night Wars. Although Malenko and Saturn never received much pop/heat, or approval/disapproval from the audience, Benoit and Guerrero achieved true super stardom, becoming the faces of the WWF (and later WWE), possessing actual talent in the ring, great mic skills, unbelievable charisma, and undying support from the fans.


Sadly, Benoit and Guerrero both passed away and have left behind very different legacies in pro wrestling. After Guerrero passed away from heart failure due to arteriosclerotic cardiovascular disease caused by his past abuse of painkillers and severe alcoholism, he was revered for being a great wrestler who sadly could not escape from his past drug and alcohol abuse even though he had been drug free and sober for years. When Benoit died, his legacy was immediately tarnished and to this day, the WWE will go out of its way to make as little mention as possible to the existence of Chris Benoit.


The reasons for Benoit being blackballed are not totally unfounded. Over the weekend of June 27, 2007, Chris Benoit missed a taping for an ECW event due to a "family emergency." In reality, Benoit killed his wife and 7-year-old son before eventually killing himself during a 3 day period. Police visited the Benoit home on a "welfare check" after several missed appointments on the 27th, discovering the bodies. Toxicology reports showed that Nancy Benoit had Xanax, hydrocodone (Vicodin), and hydromorphone (Dilaudid) in her system, but at the therapeutic level, rather than a toxic level, suggesting that they were not forced into her system. Daniel Benoit had enough Xanax in his system to cause him to pass out. Chris Benoit had Xanax, Hydrocodone, and an elevated level of testosterone caused by a synthetic form of the hormone in his system. The chief medical examiner ruled that Benoit's testosterone was due to being treated for testicular insufficiency and/or prior steroid abuse and ruled that "roid rage" was not at fault for the incident.


After the toxicology reports came in, ex-wrestler Christopher Nowinski contacted Benoit's father and suggested that repeated head trauma may have been the reason for his son's erratic behavior. Tests were then conducted on Benoit's brain at West Virginia University, finding that his brain was in such terrible shape, it could be easily compared to an 85-year-old Alzheimer's patient. Prior to his death, Benoit was reported to have had an advanced form of dementia, something that was not surprising to head of neurosurgery at WVU, Julian Bailes. Bailes had done research on 4 retired NFL players and had ruled at this point that repeated concussions leads to dementia.


It's a sad story that ended in the deaths of 3 people, but it desperately needs to be told because of the multiple concussions Benoit suffered that lead to his dementia. After his death, many in the media, as well as some former members of the wrestling industry, immediately started pointing fingers at "roid rage," or the abuse of anabolic steroids causing increased aggression. After Benoit's brain was scanned, however, the media coverage of repeated concussions leading to dementia was not covered, because the American media generally doesn't like reporting on things that make legitimate sports look bad.


Last season, NHL star Sidney Crosby suffered 2 severe hits to the head in games within the same week, causing him to miss the rest of the season while he dealt with recovering from a concussion. Even now in the NFL, players are generally expected to return to the field within a week or two, so many sports writers unfamiliar with hockey were shocked and disappointed to see Crosby out of action for months, only just this past week seeing him return to action. The amount of time Crosby was out to recover from his concussion was appropriate and the Pittsburgh Penguins did the right thing by keeping Crosby out of action until he was clear to play many months later.


UFC has an extremely similar policy, banning fighters from competing for months on end if they suffer concussions. UFC commissioner Dana White has appeared many times on ESPN's Outside the Lines to discuss concussions in sports, usually criticizing the NFL for not taking the issue seriously and has mentioned the Benoit case before.


Crossface is currently being shopped around for directors and actors, with hopes of the movie beginning production in late 2012, probably in time for a mid-to-late 2013 release.

Christopher Nolan Drops a Huge Bombshell About TDKR

In the latest issue of Empire magazine, Christopher Nolan dropped a very unexpected bombshell on the plot of The Dark Knight Rises: The story takes place eight years after The Dark Knight, making Batman now 39 years old. The possibilities are now endless, including the introduction of Robin. Nolan has said before that Robin will not exist as long as he is directing Batman movies and Christian Bale said he will not act in a Batman movie featuring Robin, but Batman is now pushing 40 and Dick Grayson has to be a teenager by this point. At the very least, the possibility of Wayne taking in Grayson after his parent's deaths is a possibility.

Drive

It hasn't been the greatest year for movies outside of superhero films. Before September, the best film of the year was easily X-Men: First Class, rivaled by a bit of movie hangover by Rise of the Planet of the Apes. September brings 2 movies that make us believe in the movies again, 50/50 and Drive.

Drive tells the tale of the Driver, an anonymous young man who works as a movie stunt driver by day and a getaway driver by night. As a getaway driver, he has certain conditions: He must always remain anonymous, he will only work for someone once, and he will only wait for 5 minutes before he starts the getaway. Drive doesn't ever attempt to make car chases with explosions or 50 car pile ups, instead aiming for realism and brevity, allowing the sound of roaring engines to be the soundtrack.

Before seeing Drive, one should not watch the 2 minute long trailer for the movie, because it spoils the entire plot of the movie in just 2 short minutes. The plot of the film isn't particularly unique, having been seen before in several movies, television shows, and other works of art beforehand, but what makes Drive unique is how memorable each shot of the movie is and how incredibly well the soundtrack narrates the film, culminating with one of the most bizarre moments of romance I've ever witnessed in a film, with the song "A Real Hero" by College playing in the background, almost reassuring his love interest (played excellently by Carey Mulligan) that the Driver is in fact a good person even though he is about to do something very terrible; "A Real Hero" not being nominated for Best Original Song in a Motion Picture would be an incredible disservice.

There are 2 fair warnings to Drive before viewing or considering viewing: every moment of violence is done in incredible amounts and does not sugar coat realism in favor of a PG-13 rating for broader appeal, and there are very long stretches of the film that have no dialogue or less than 10 words spoken between characters. The last time I saw a film with this little dialogue was Bambi, for a point of reference. This film is done so well though, that it does not need dialogue to pad the length or big, long winded speeches explaining a character's motives; Drive does not treat its viewers like idiots and assumes they are intelligent.

Simply put, Drive is the best film of the year thus far.

Final Score: 5 scorpion jackets out of 5

Captain America: The First Avenger

See that awesome poster? That pretty much describes this movie. It is deliberately shot in the style of a 1940's film, focusing heavily on the characters depicted up top with only minor interaction with "the background guys." That's not necessarily a bad thing, since if the Howling Commandos got more screen time (which was more than likely intended, evidenced by obvious deleted scenes), the story would start to slow down around the time Steve Rogers decides to do the right thing and make Captain America more than just propaganda.

Captain America is the story of Steve Rogers, the wimpiest kid you'll ever meet, but who possesses an indomitable will that keeps him going despite his size. He keeps applying to the U.S. military multiple times, being rejected every time for his own safety. His reasons for enlisting are shallow at first; his entire family enlisted and died in the war. Later on, we see that Rogers "doesn't like bullies" and sees Nazi Germany as just another bully. He doesn't want to kill any Nazis, he just wants to right the wrongs that Adolf Hitler has done.


Yes, Captain America's back-story has received zero change since being its last retcon. Bucky is still the bigger protector of Steve until the Super Soldier serum, then becomes a member of the Howling Commandos, then dies for the millionth time. The inventor of the serum is still killed by a Nazi almost immediately after Steve Rogers becomes nigh-superhuman, but this time he is an agent of Hydra. Although Rogers would now make an excellent soldier, he is just one man and deemed too valuable to lose on the frontlines. He is dressed up in a silly costume and made into the propaganda superhero, Captain America, even printing his own series of comic books (a reprint of Captain America Comics #1).

During a trip to Italy for the USO, Rogers receives jeers from the actual troops, but decides to single-handedly break out hundreds of troops held prisoner in a Nazi camp (actually a Hydra camp). Afterwards, seeing his worth not only as a strong physical soldier, but a very capable mental one, Rogers' former CO decides to create a unit for Captain America and bring down Hydra and the Red Skull, who is using the power of the Cosmic Cube, left being on Earth by the Asgardians.

Captain America is easily Marvel's 2nd best film, just behind X-Men: First Class. It pokes fun at American propaganda during the 1940s, but also makes sure to stay true to the course and tell a serious story of a weak man who did not change once given power. Make sure to stay after the credits too, because there isn't just a post-credits scene, there's a trailer for next year's The Avengers.

Final Score: 4 punches to Hitler's face out of 5

So Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez Are Getting Divorced

Well that was certainly.... expected. I'm frankly surprised they lasted 7 years, being married in 2004, less than a week after Marc Anthony's divorce to former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres was finalized. Marc Anthony, real name Marco Antonio Muñiz, and Jennifer Lopez had previously dated in the 90s before Lopez's 2nd marriage and Muñiz's 1st marriage. No one was really that surprised to see the 2 long-time friends get married, but it was surprising to see how quickly the whole thing happened after Muñiz and Torres had allegedly reconciled.

The couple has fraternal twins, Emme Maribel and Maximilian David, whose photos were first shown exclusively to People for $6 million. At this point, the divorce proceedings are in its early stages, so the issue of custody hasn't been discussed yet. The Muñiz family are partial owners of the Miami Dolphins, which is probably the only reason I'm bothering to cover this story, other than it's funny how Hispanic people's opinion of Lopez has hit rock-bottom since her marriage to Muñiz, many seeing her as a home wrecker, but Muñiz and Torres had well-known marital problems.

The Dark Knight Rises Teaser Trailer to Premiere in Front of Harry Potter?

Rumors are swirling around Hollywood that The Dark Knight Rises' first teaser trailer will premiere during the first showings of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. Superherohype.com has the most concrete information, saying that the length of the trailer will be 1 minute and 33 seconds long and will run in both 2D theaters and IMAX 3D theaters (TDKR is not a 3D film, but there are reports that it will use even more IMAX than TDK).

Honestly, I would be fine if the first teaser trailer is similar to the first teaser trailer for The Dark Knight which was mostly snippets of the jewel thief story Alfred was telling Bruce in response to Bruce describing the Joker's actions, followed by the Joker giving a few lines and giving us a glimpse of what Heath Ledger's Joker laugh would sound like, all just audio with the Batman logo slowly being revealed and then a Joker card shown.

This time around, a lot more information is known to begin with, including that Liam Neeson as Ra's al Ghul will be back, more than likely serving as the main villain and either behind or working with Bane. If there's anything in the trailer that would cause instant fan service, it would be Bane screaming out his trademark line, "I WILL BREAK YOU!"

More Man of Steel Casting News

Christopher Meloni of Law & Order: SVU fame has been cast as "a general". Nobody was very clear on what that means at all, but he will be shooting scenes with Superman in them, so he is apparently playing a major character, possibly helping Superman fight against Zod. Julia Ormond of Benjamin Button was also announced to have won the role of Lara Lor-Van, Superman's biological mother. Thus far, I haven't seen a single bad actor cast thus far in the movie, and David S. Goyer is writing the script. Could Man of Steel be shooting for the Oscar that The Dark Knight wasn't nominated for? Things are certainly starting to look that way, but we'll just have to see how many more big announcements in casting will be made, like who will play Perry White, Jimmy Olsen, and if Lex Luthor will make an appearance.

The Dark Knight Rises Features a Returning Cast Member from Batman Begins, Man of Steel's Jor-El Cast

HitFix is reporting that Liam Neeson will be reprising his role of Ra's al Ghul from Batman Begins in The Dark Knight Rises. It was previously reported that Josh Pence will play a young Ra's al Ghul in flashback sequences, starting rumors that the Demon's Head would arise from the ashes of his train crash to battle Batman once again. Gary Oldman has already said in interviews that Rises would bring Batman's story "full-circle," and now we know that-that means Ra's al Ghul will reappear. At this point, it's looking likely that Nolan's version of Bane will be working with the League of Shadows and while he is more than likely the main villain, he is ultimately working for someone even bigger.

This news is fantastic, even for a movie that was already well-anticipated. If I know Christopher Nolan and David Goyer, I have a feeling that they will find a way to connect the Joker to Ra's al Ghul as well, bringing the trilogy full-circle. While not a member of the League of Shadows, it could be possible that the Joker was hired like the Scarecrow and the Joker's job was to create as much chaos as possible so that Gotham would destroy itself. The League's mission after all, is to destroy Gotham City so that its decadence cannot spread. It could not be a coincidence that the Joker kept conveniently having plan after plan up his sleeve after claiming to never make plans.


On the other side of the DC spectrum, Man of Steel has more casting news. Russell Crowe has been cast in the role of Jor-El, Superman's father. The cast of Man of Steel is looking fantastic as well, full of talented actors. Currently, the cast looks as so:

• Henry Cavill as Superman/Clark Kent/Kal-El
• Amy Adams as Lois Lane
• Diane Lane as Martha Kent
• Kevin Costner as Jonathan Kent
• Michael Shannon as General Dru-Zod
• Antje Tarue as Faora Hu-Ul
• Russell Crowe as Jor-El

Michael Shannon is an Oscar nominated actor for his role in Revolutionary Road and currently appears on the HBO series Boardwalk Empire. Antje Traue is new to Hollywood, having starred in German films the last 10 years. Her first English-language film was Pandorum, the 2009 sci-fi thriller starring Dennis Quaid.

The Dark Knight Rises will be released July 20, 2012. Man of Steel begins filming August 2011 and has a tentative release date of Christmas 2012.

Green Lantern is Getting Really Bad Reviews

Green Lantern will be released in theaters this Friday, but the moratorium DC Comics put up on early reviews has just expired today. When reviews are not allowed to be printed until less than a week before the premiere, that's usually a big hint that the product is not very good and the creators admit it. This is not a new tactic in movies and is becoming a more common practice in video games. "Early" reviews of Green Lantern have not been very kind, especially considering the director, Martin Campbell, director of Goldeneye, The Mask of Zorro, and Casino Royale, the lead actor, Ryan Reynolds, known for a being a comic book fan and estrogen bait even for guys, and creative support from Geoff Johns, writer of the acclaimed Green Lantern: Secret Origin, which the film is heavily based on. Here are some snippets taken from Rotten Tomatoes:

"Campbell's ADD style privileges spectacle over story -- so much so that the film never rewards the viewer for even trying to keep track of what is going on." - Karina Longworth, Village Voice

"It's a frustrating, deeply flawed film rife with missed story opportunities and squandered potential." - Jim Vejvoda, IGN

"Fails on so many levels, both as a movie and as a comics adaptation, that it's easily one of the bigger disappointments of the summer." - Edward Douglas, ComingSoon.net

"Disappointing superhero movie that delivers a couple of decent set pieces but is ultimately let down by a laughably poor script, some extremely dodgy editing, a lack of humour and a non-committal performance from Ryan Reynolds." - Matthew Turner, ViewLondon

And ultimately, the one review that was so brutally honest, I felt sad reading it, but I somehow knew this one was the most accurate:

"The ring may not make mistakes when it chooses a new Green Lantern, but plenty of mistakes were made in bringing Green Lantern to the screen, and in the end, I have a feeling this is our one and only trip to Oa" - Drew McWeeny, HitFix

So once again, it appears that a fan favorite comic book character with a rich backstory receives a poor live-action film adaptation, joining the likes of Daredevil, Elektra, Ghost Rider, The Incredible Hulk, Judge Dredd, The Losers, The Punisher, and The Spirit.

I normally do not pay for films that are poorly received, especially movies I was looking forward to seeing, but I won't truly believe the film is as awful as the critics have said until I see this green mess for myself. Stay tuned for my review this weekend.

Green Lantern: Emerald Knights

Bruce Timm, legendary animator, has long wanted to do another Green Lantern animated movie, especially after hearing that Warner Bros. had green-lit (pardon the pun) a Green Lantern movie. The plan was simple: a Green Lantern version of Batman: Gotham Knight. This movie is similar to that concept, but this time it's an anthology movie with an overarching story in the background.

The Green Lantern home world of Oa is under attack by Krona, being from the anti-matter universe, not seen since the Crisis on Infinite Earths. Hal Jordan, the first human Green Lantern of Sector 2814, tells stories about different Green Lanterns to the newest GL, Arisia Rrab of Sector 2815, while preparing for the battle against Krona.

There are 5 stories told about Green Lanterns past and present: Avra, Kilowog, Laira Omoto, Mogo, and Abin Sur. Avra is actually a new character conceived for this film, the first time an origin story for the original Green Lantern has ever been stated. The rest of the characters' stories are all based on exisiting comics. Kilowog's story depicts him shortly after receiving his power ring, showing how he became the tough drill instructor we all know today. Laira's story is a slight modification of her actual origin story from the comics, erasing any mentions of the Crisis on Infinite Earths, showing why she is such a tough cookie and the pain one potentially has to go through as a Green Lantern. Mogo's story is a humorous story taking the entire story to show who the hell Mogo is, specifically designed for people who don't know who Mogo is. Abin Sur's story is included mainly to show what kind of person Abin Sur was and to introduce the character Atrocitus, a future Red Lantern.

After all 5 stories are told, the Green Lantern Corps. then fight against Krona, defeating him using an idea coined by Arisia. Arisia is celebrated as the newest hero to appear in the Book of Oa, the ongoing chronicle of the Universe. Of course, some questions do remain for Green Lantern fans.

More or less everyone knows that Sinestro becomes a villain (what a surprise with that name, right?) and starts the Sinestro Corps., the first organization of Yellow Lanterns. There is reference to that in the movie, but the film plays Sinestro straight up as a good guy who has no hints of ever becoming the main antagonist of the Green Lanterns. A previously lesser known Lantern, Laira, also becomes a villain later on when she becomes a Red Lantern, and most recently a Black Lantern during the events of Blackest Night. Laira isn't exactly the most popular Green Lantern, especially considering she's only existed since 1993 and has never previously been mentioned outside the comics. She isn't given a credited role in the live-action film to be released next week, so why was Laira given a story and not say, Tomar-Re, who has a rather large role in the film?

DC has to be up to something.

The First Lantern: 4 giant swords out of 5
Kilowog: 5 poozers out of 5
Laira: 4 halberds out of 5
Mogo Doesn't Socialize: 5 Unrelenting Bolphungas out of 5
Abin Sur: 3 psychic villains out of 5
Emerald Knights: 3 Nathan Fillions out of 5
Average Score: 4 planets juggled out of 5

Green Lantern: Emerald Knights does a great job as a film for both old and new fans of Green Lantern. The actual Emerald Knights story is pretty boring and Hal Jordan doesn't get to do much of anything and Abin Sur's story is pretty bland too since all it does is tell new fans that SINESTRO IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED. Even a complete moron can tell just from his name that Sinestro is well, sinister. Avra's story is pretty cool, but the one flaw is that the story has the worst animation and character concepts seemingly designed by a 9-year-old. Kilowog and Mogo's stories really stand out and I would give Mogo's a 6/5 if I could, if only because it's a direct translation of Alan Moore's short story. Laira's story is also pretty good, but it's too action heavy and doesn't foreshadow at all that Laira is very unstable and will eventually become a Red Lantern.

Despite the small flaws, overall Emerald Knights is really awesome and should please both new and old fans.

Green Lantern starring Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan will be released next Friday and you can bet I'll be going to a midnight show.

X-Men: First Class - A New Beginning

After the success of the of the original X-Men trilogy, a plan was devised to create two prequels: a Wolverine prequel detailed his origins for the first time in film, and a Magneto movie either detailing how his line of thinking came about after aiding Charles Xavier for so many years or about his re-emergence after the events of X-Men: The Last Stand where he gets his powers back in the final second of the movie. Although X-Men Origins: Wolverine was a financial success, the movie was critically panned and hated by fans. The visual effects were terrible, Sabretooth's origins were retconned in a ludicrous way, Wolverine's amneisa was caused in an equally dumb way, and several future X-Men were introduced with very strange ages, like Scott Summers (Cyclops) and Emma Frost being in high school in 1979, which would make Professor X about 44, far too young to have a completely bald head as he was portrayed.

With Wolverine's lack of positive reception, the plans for a Magneto movie fell through. Instead, Fox, Marvel, Bryan Singer, and Richard Donner decided to make a loose prequel and partial reboot to the X-Men franchise. This way, they could tell the Magneto movie they wanted, but also make a new X-Men movie in a world where comic book movies were now expected to be much more faithful to the source material.


X-Men: First Class makes a few attempts to make sure that it is not a direct prequel to any of the X-Men films, including the appearances of several characters that have the "wrong" ages or tweaks to characters' backgrounds. This is similar in concept to the comic of the same name, which was a re-telling of the X-Men origin story. In the film, most of the action takes place in 1962, on the eve of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Through the events of the film, the mutants become involved in the Crisis, narrowly averting it before the U.S. and U.S.S.R. unilaterally declare war on mutants.

The story is incredibly predictable, but there are 2 cameos from Hugh Jackman and Rebecca Romijn that were unexpected. Jackman appears as Wolverine, recruited by Prof. X and Magneto, but he "rejects" them. Romijn appears as Mystique's older self in a scene where Raven displays her powers are not limited to just changing her form into another person; she can deliberately age herself as well.

Where this movie stands out (despite the predictable story) is the acting. James McAvoy as Charles Xavier, Michael Fassbender as Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto, and Jennifer Lawrence as Raven Darkholme/Mystique really stand out. Although Jennifer Lawrence is an Oscar-nominated actress, nobody saw Winter's Bone, so this film is going to be everyone's first exposure to her. The other characters are somewhat interesting, but the film makes pretty clear early that Xavier, Magneto, and Mystique are the main characters.

Final Score: 4 Magneto helmets out of 5

I fully support another X-Men film being made if it follows First Class in the story. As much as I like the original X-Men, that movie was really about Wolverine meeting the X-Men, an already existing group with little background given. This film gives a clear origin to every character, as well as the concept of the X-Men and the Brotherhood of Mutants. If a sequel is made, I'd love to see how the film decides to ignore the events of X-Men Origins: Wolverine and give a new reason for Wolverine to join the X-Men rather than being kidnapped.

X-Men is dead. Long live X-Men: First Class.

Green Lantern: First Flight

Green Lantern is a little bit more than a month away, so I felt it would be good to give myself a refresher of Hal Jordan's origin story (as it is understood today) and how it was explained in the animated film, Green Lantern: First Flight.

First Flight is a movie that greatly contracts Hal Jordan's personal life in favor of showing his relationship with his fellow Green Lanterns as they uncover a plot by evil forces to steal the Yellow Element from Oa and use it as a counter to the Green Lantern Corps. Unlike most depictions of Hal Jordan, he never gets close to Kilowog or Tomar-Re until near the end, and Thaal Sinestro is almost always seen as someone who despite being a Green Lantern, probably should not hold such power. Usually, Hal Jordan is depicted as being trained by the noble Sinestro, who despite being very harsh in training, is a pretty good guy who believes in protecting the universe as a Green Lantern... at least until he gains the power of the Yellow Element and becomes the universe's first Yellow Lantern.

The film itself is pretty basic and unfortunately places no focus on Hal Jordan's personal life, in exchange for displaying how he gets along with his fellow Green Lanterns. The acting is also far from stellar, but definitely much better than the acting in some of the other DC Animated Original Movies; Superman: Doomsday and Wonder Woman come to mind as comparisons. Christopher Meloni is horribly miscast as Hal Jordan as are the other Green Lanterns with the exception of Sinestro.

Really in the end, nothing special can be said of the film, exept that the animation does 3 things in particular that Green Lantern will be following. While in the Green Lantern outfit, Hal Jordan's irises go white while his pupils remain, creating the illusion that his mask gives him totally white eyes. The outfit itself also has texture for the first time; usually it just looks like a spandex outfit. First Flight makes the outfit look more like body armor, yet form-fitting. The last thing is that Hal Jordan's nose is given actual definition while facing front, instead of the domino mask getting a triangular shape.

When you see the two side by side, the live action mask actually appears to be more true to the source material than previously thought.

Final Score: 2 many supporting cast members missing out of 5


Green Lantern: First Flight is a big green mess. The DC Animated Originals are touted because they're self-contained stories that are between 75-80 minutes long, yet feel longer because of the strength of their storytelling. GL feels longer because it's just so damn boring. Hal Jordan's personality received an update after Crisis on Infinite Earths for the sole reason that he was so damn boring and lacked personality and we only see glimpses of Jordan's new personality during this movie. Justice League: The New Frontier treated Hal Jordan much better than this and the only other Green Lantern ever shown was Abin Sur, proof that you don't need to involve the Green Lantern Corps. in every aspect of Hal Jordan's origin story to create a good story.

Indeed, the upcoming Green Lantern does feature the Corps. early in the film and throughout, but they are as much supporting characters as Hal Jordan's friends and his on-again/off-again love interest, Carol Ferris.

Green Lantern will be released in theaters June 17 and will be going up against X-Men: First Class, Super 8, and Cars 2 as the major films released in June. After the mess that was X-Men: The Last Stand and the confusing EXTREME SHAKY CAM of Cloverfield, I don't think people will turn out in droves to see X-Men or Super 8. Cars is a Pixar film, but even so, the original Cars was not as well received as Pixar's other films. I'm not predicting GL to be a big box office smash, I think the only guarantees of that for this summer areThe Hangover Part II and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

Thor: 2011 Superhero Movie #1

This year is widely viewed as "make or break" for superhero movies, with Thor, Green Lantern, and Captain America: The First Avenger all coming out in May, June, and July, respectively. None of these superheroes are that well known outside of the comic book community, so that's why these movies are seen as pretty important in cementing superhero movies as a part of cinema. The last time lesser known heroes got movies, they were Blade and Daredevil. While Blade did get 2 sequels, I personally believe it was more because it was Wesley Fucking Snipes killing vampires with a sword, not because he was a comic book character.

Thor boasts a truly impressive cast and crew with the likes of Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, and director Kenneth Branagh. Relative unknown Chris Hemsworth stars as Thor; you may remember him for playing George Kirk in the opening scene of Star Trek. He does Thor well, accurately playing the spoiled son of Odin who starts out bloodthirsty for battle, uncontent that his father decided not to finish off the Jotuuns.

This movie isn't your typical superhero movie, especially since Thor only has his powers at the beginning and end of the film. Thor is stripped of his powers by his father, Odin, and sent to Midgard (Earth) as punishment until he is worthy of once again wielding Mjolnir. On Earth, Thor more or less goes on a quest to retrieve Mjolnir, now in the hands of S.H.I.E.L.D., and meets people who aid him. Behind the scenes, Thor's brother Loki learns of his true origins and conspires to start a war with the Jotunns, despite being one himself.

When I say Thor has his powers at the start and end of the film, I'm not kidding. Out of the entire 110 minutes, he probably has his powers for about 40 of them. It's definitely easier to identify with Thor once he loses his powers and becomes a jerk obsessed with reclaiming his godhood than it is when he's a jerk obsessed with battle. The human characters don't really serve too much purpose other than advancing the plot, telling a few jokes, and explaining to the audience (very partially) that Odin, Thor, Loki, etc. are all Norse gods and that the ancient Vikings may have worshiped these aliens and treated them like gods.

Although I greatly enjoyed Thor, it does feel a bit too short and fast-paced, despite the lack of action during the 2nd act. That's something you never thought you'd hear, right? A fast-paced movie with limited action! The screenplay is easily the best Marvel has ever crunched out, and it's no surprise since J. Michael Stracynzki was involved. The only fault the movie really has is that some of the actors were not ready to be in a major motion picture alongside such talents like Natalie Portman, Stellan Skarsgard, and Anthony Hopkins.

I do have one nitpick not just on Thor, but for the other superhero movies coming out this year. The three hero movies will all be viewable in 3D, but the truth is that none of them were shot in 3D, they were done in post-production. What that means is that they used a normal camera to film the movies and then afterwards they superimposed the movie on top itself to create a faux 3D effect. This practice is not uncommon, unfortunately, it's been used on movies like Alice in Wonderland, Clash of the Titans, Piranha 3D, The Last Airbender, and every Harry Potter film. If you want to know what films are really in 3D and not camera trickery, go to http://realorfake3d.com/ and see the list for yourself. It even previews movies coming out next year that are doing the same trick!

Final Score: 4 Mjolnir BONKS out of 5

Thor has a few flaws, but they can be largely ignored. The story will not be over this year however, since Captain America: The First Avenger will continue the story in some way. in the comics canon, Thor actually participated in World War II, so it remains to be seen if the Norse gods will still aid the Allied effort in the film.

Atlas Shrugged Part 1 - Why Part 2 and 3 Will Never (and Should Never) be Made

Atlas Shrugged Part 1 was released in theaters yesterday to unbelievably negative critical reception as well as negative fan reaction by Ayn Rand fans. For those not familiar (feel lucky), Atlas Shrugged was a giant brick of a "novel" written by Ayn Rand, the much acclaimed writer of The Fountainhead. After its success, Rand was pressured by friends and colleagues to write her magnum opus and manifesto of "Objectivism" ideas that she only briefly explored with the novel and film versions of "Fountainhead."

In order to express her ideas, Rand created a dystopian world where the government has taken over businesses and is slowly working on capturing the last vestiges of private enterprise. As it is doing so, many notable inventors, artists, and intelligent minds are mysteriously going missing, most notable of which is John Galt. Throughout the film it is revealed that these missing elite are purposely disappearing from society to bring down the government because if they cannot own their own properties, they will not let the government own them either. In doing so, society crumbles due to the total lack of influence from the elite and John Galt rises from the ashes, giving a incredibly long speech (70 pages long) basically breaking the fourth wall to have Ayn Rand spout off her views on Objectivism (the article is pretty long and has to be read to be believed) and have Galt become the leader of this new Objectivist society. Apparently, this is supposed to be a happy ending.

When Atlas Shrugged was first printed, it got incredibly negative critical reviews, but large sales. Over the years, "Atlas" has continued to be one of the worst reviewed books in American literature, yet continues to sell copies, mostly to people who identify themselves as Libertarian. Ron Paul, his son Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan are three congressmen who all identify their views as being largely taken from Atlas Shrugged and Ryan even requires all of his staffers to read the brick when they are hired. Paul Ryan has made the news lately because he has proposed a budget that would essentially turn the US into a society that Ayn Rand would always have dreamed of. His budget will never get passed though, because only 2 other people in Congress agree with him.

The film Atlas Shrugged Part 1 has spent nearly 40 years in development hell, attached to numerous directors and actors, but has finally been made! It's incredibly low budget and stars absolute nobodies as actors, so of course it's going to be awesome. The reason for not making the film as a straight adaptation of the novel is because, of course, the writers and director are in love with Ayn Rand and want each of the three parts of the books to be their own movie. However, the director has stated that if the first part does not do well in theaters (it won't), he will never direct a movie for the rest of his life.

Although, a true Ayn Rand fan would only know if the movie was good if the film made money and destroyed its competition. In short, Rand's views are that all of us are at fault for not creating empires out of our ideas and the only people worth anything in our society are people like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, etc. I'm sure Rand would be very unhappy to hear that all those guys would love to see tax increases on themselves to aid their government.

Oscars Recap

Well, I batted an even .500 for my Oscar picks, but my second place pick for Leading Actress pulled through. I was incredibly surprised to see Tom Hooper win for Best Director, especially after many thought Christopher Nolan to be the greatest directing snub of the past decade. Most thought for sure Aronofsky would finally win. As far as Best Picture, most people made a pick of The Social Network because the film that wins Best Screenplay and Best Editing, whether it be Adapted or Original Screenplay, has only lost Best Picture 3 times. After Aaron Sorkin predictably won (which I predicted, but not officially), it became even more apparent that The Social Network would win. The King's Speech winning was an incredible shock even though it was a favorite to win recently. I still think Toy Story 3 was the best movie out of the 10 nominees, but there is no way the Academy would let an animated movie win Best Picture, even though Beauty and the Beast came dangerously close to doing so.

Here are the big things that stood out to me:

• James Franco was either high or disinterested in the entire event, despite the fact he was clearly the runner-up for Best Actor.
• Anne Hathaway's little "We're not worthy" bow to Billy Crystal was uncalled for. Crystal has never been known for being a good actor and to have an Oscar nominated actress appreciate an inferior actor as superior is ridiculous.
• Melissa Leo's F-Bomb was muted on the West Coast, despite claims from ABC that the event was "live". I'll have to do more research on if the East Coast gets a straight feed and how many seconds a delay the West Coast gets. It's really sad how it seems every live event these days is aired on a 5 second delay just because of Janet Jackson's nipple.
• Christian Bale acknowledging his Terminator: Salvation rant was hilarious and makes me love him even more. I only wish that he could have given a line like "Batman got himself an Oscar!"
• Natalie Portman's acceptance speech was allowed to go on WAY too long and she thanked far too many people, but I was glad to hear her thank the director of Leon (The Professional) for giving her-her first acting role. She's come a long way since then, but has always been extremely talented.
• My favorite acceptance speech has to be from the guy who won Best Short Film. It was short, sweet, self-deprecating, and he managed to thank the most important person.
• Nobody thanked God. THANK GOD FOR THAT LOL! I absolutely hate it when people thank God for winning a stupid award. Thank God for giving you the opportunity of life, not for your talent.
• The Academy gave Inception a sweep in the technical awards, winning Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing, Best Visual Effects, and Best Cinematography. So why wasn't Nolan nominated for Best Director again? An incredible and undeserved snub. At least the Academy recognizes Inception for being the greatest technical achievement since The Matrix.
• The auto-tuned segment was ironically funny. Almost every year since Chicago, some stupid musical gets nominated in some way and gets recognition at the Oscars (like Nine last year *shudder*). I say stupid because no musical made today will ever compare to the classics; once The Sound of Music hit, the musical reached its peak.
• The funniest segment was definitely Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law presenting the award for Best Film Editing. The punchline had fantastic build-up while acknowledging Robert Downey Jr.'s previous problems with the law, and showcasing Downey and Law's incredible chemistry together.
• Unrelated to the Oscars, but will the ads for The Dark Knight Returns now feature ads like Oscar Bait movies do? You know the type, STARRING: Academy Award Winner Christian Bale, Academy Award Nominee Anne Hathaway, Academy Award Winner Michael Caine, Academy Award Winner Morgan Freeman. It will be interesting to see what happens!

All-in-all, the show was pretty predictable and not enjoyable. I'm glad I recorded it and watched the Knicks beat the Heat instead.

83rd Academy Awards Preview

On February 27, ABC will proudly air the 83rd Academy Awards, which will feature, in my humble opinion, the most deserving nominees for every category since the 90s. But will it be watched? With recent developments in the NBA, expect everyone to instead watch the Miami Heat take on Carmelo Anthony's first nationally televised game as a New York Knick. You can expect me to do the same despite how much I love these nominees. The following are my picks for winner, as well as a potential spoiler pick, in each of the 6 major categories and why.

Best Actor:
Colin Firth in The King's Speech
Spoiler Pick:
James Franco in 127 Hours

Firth is widely being seen as the favorite to win this category, but Franco is looking to be a potential spoiler in the category as 127 Hours is a more general audience friendly film in terms of tone and subject matter. Even though both films are based on real events, 127 Hours is much more appealing to the 15-30 target demographic. The Academy has taken great steps acknowledging how out of touch it appears to be, so it just may give Franco the award.

Best Actress:
Annette Bening in The Kids Are All Right
Spoiler Pick:
Natalie Portman in Black Swan
 
Like Firth, Bening is being seen as the obvious pick, and will more than likely win with the heavy weight of her entire career behind her. If, however, the Academy does not fall for Bening's illustrious career, Portman will win for the same reason that DeNiro won an award for Raging Bull; she sacrificed her body and lived her role, aka the Trope known as Dying For Your Art.

Best Supporting Actor:
Christian Bale in The Fighter
Spoiler Pick:
Geoffrey Rush in The King's Speech

Bale has been Dying For His Art for basically his entire adult career, exercising religiously for American Psycho, losing nearly half his weight for The Machinist, then putting back on all his weight and then some for Batman Begins, and now losing some weight once again for The Fighter. If Rush pulls off the shocker, expect this to be the big upset of the night.

Best Supporting Actress:
Melissa Leo in The Fighter
Spoiler Pick:
Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit


If there's any reason at all that Leo will not win this award, it will be because of her ridiculous "Consider..." ads that she once lambasted only a few months ago. She definitely deserves to win, but those "Consider..." ads may have caused some voters to turn their heads towards Steinfeld who appears to be the next Anna Paquin.

Best Director:
Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan
Spoiler Pick:
David O. Russell for The Fighter

It's not so much of a spoiler pick, but rather a toss-up. Aronofsky deserves to win not only for Black Swan, but for being snubbed for Requiem for a Dream. Russell has a good shot at winning, but his decision to direct and write the film adaptation of Uncharted has many people worrying about his decision making.

Best Picture:
The Social Network
Spoiler Pick:
The Fighter 

I hated The Social Network, but the Academy are a bunch of suckers for Aaron Sorkin dialogue (which will win Best Adapted Screenplay) and with so many critics calling it the "defining movie of a generation," the older voters will take this to mean that The Social Network is to the Nintendo Generation what Forrest Gump was to Baby Boomers, or The Breakfast Club to Gen-Xers. No, we already had our generation defining movie and it was called Scott Pilgrim vs The World. The Fighter will be the upset pick and also the most likely movie to win other than The Social Network. The other movie that has every right to win Best Picture, but most likely won't, is Toy Story 3. Color me absolutely shocked if it wins the first Best Picture for an animated movie.

New Superman Casted

Feast your eyes on the next Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman, 27 year old British actor Henry Cavill, mostly known for being on The Tudors. The first picture is from his upcoming show Immortals where he will playing the role of Theseus. Cavill is surprisingly enough, not a surprise choice. He was the front-runner for the lead role in Superman Returns back when Brett Ratner and McG were attached to direct. He's also got some experience in working with big budget high profile production, being the runner-up to Daniel Craig for the role of James Bond in Casino Royale before he was deemed too young for the part and he even auditioned for the role of Bruce Wayne/Batman in Batman Begins.

So what do we have to check off on our list of Superman qualities?

• Square Jaw
• Blue Eyes
• Muscular Frame
• Good looking, but someone you could see as also being a huge dork.

Well, 3/4 isn't too bad, Cavill has green eyes. They could always digitally alter his eye color like they did to Brandon Routh.... Okay, maybe they'll just use blue eye contact lenses this time...

With Christopher Nolan producing, David S. Goyer writing, and Zack Snyder directing, this new Superman movie is shaping up to be a huge movie that will make everyone forget Superman Returns ever existed. Here's to hoping Snyder and Goyer remove all Christ allegory shit and keep Superman as what he does best: JUGGLING PLANETS MOTHERFUCKER.

Top 11 Reasons Why You Should Stay the Fuck Away From thatguywiththeglasses.com

The topic's title is misleading, sorry. But so is their website's so-called "Channel Awesome". It's not awesome at all.

Meet Doug Walker, AKA That Guy With the Glasses, AKA the Nostalgia Critic.You may have seen his 5-Second Movies or Nostalgia Critic videos on Youtube a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. The reason I say "may have seen" is because his videos were pulled from Youtube for copyright reasons, posting very long sequences from movies and basically making cliff note videos of movies rather than actual reviews. After getting banned from Youtube, Doug and a friend of his started up thatguywiththeglasses.com to post his videos without Youtube's strict content enforcement and to invite other people to come along and join the party. Over time, more people joined the show, now called Channel Awesome, most notably TheSpoonyOne, Angry Joe, and Linkara.

In the beginning, Walker seemed to actually have pretty good content. The Nostalgia Critic videos were usually well researched and despite Doug Walker's ability to make the most annoying noises on the planet, were incredibly funny to watch for people born between the years 1980-1990, otherwise known as one of the demographic that watches the most movies, television, and plays the most video games. The other major contributors, Spoony, Joe, and Linkara, reviewed shitty old games and movies, shitty current games, and shitty comics respectively. Do you notice a trend here?

Doug Walker managed to very quickly jump the shark and posted a video ranting about the Angry Video Game Nerd, saying he was basically a copy of him, doing reviews of shitty old games (of course, AVGN had been working for a few years by this point). The Nostalgia Critic fans started spamming and flaming AVGN's websites eventually causing the AVGN fans to troll Doug Walker's site. And hence, his plan was complete: he attracted visitors to his site. In reality, this was all planned because James Rolfe, the AVGN, found Walker's 5-Second Movies pretty funny and wanted to see them continue. Walker had to push this further though, and ended up doing a series of videos with Rolfe pretending that they were going to have an epic battle of Nerd vs Critic. Of course, this whole thing was just to promote Walker's website which was still rather new.

With the mission complete, Walker and his friends were allowed to make all the content they wanted, shitty or not, and keep people watching for basically the same reasons people listen to Howard Stern, "they can't wait to see what they do next." Walker's content started going downhill around July 2009 when he started reviewing movies that nobody had seen, even his target audience. Just to add to this nonsense, he stopped making 5-Second Movies, probably his best content, way back in 2008. Ever since mid-2009, his Nostagia movies have been approaching content that is increasingly more and more obscure, resorting to reviewing movies that are less than 10 years old and movies that he admits that he didn't know existed until recently.

That's just getting started on the bullshit, however. TheSpoonyOne, a Final Fantasy fan, but only of numbers IV, VI, VII, and XII (wouldn't that just make him a JRPG fan, not a Final Fantasy fan?), decided to review Final Fantasy VIII, well-known upon its release for being a game that divided the fanbase, although these days the general opinion is that FF8 is well-regarded and people were too quick to jump on it mainly for not being FF7. His FF8 review (a series of eleven videos, because he wanted his audience to see "exactly" how horrible it was) started in September 2008 and finally came to a conclusion almost a full year later in July 2009 (hmm, about the same time Walker posted his Steel review). In the video, Spoony ends up dressed as Squall in a fairly accurate costume and even has a fucking gunblade. If he hated FF8 that much, why does he own... well, any of that?

Spoony only continued to prove his idiocy a year later when he started a video series talking about how horrible Final Fantasy X is, a game that has close to zero negative reviews. He originally only made one video, stating at the end that the game was too horrible to continue. A few months later, he made 2 more videos, allegedly due to "fan demand," but it became obvious why it took so long in the final video: he had to get a Tidus costume of course! If you hate a game that much, why dress up like the character you hate the most? Why can't you make a friend go get the costume and dress up instead?

Spoony's worst problem however, is his utter inability to take any constructive criticism. After a series of incredibly stupid videos, people started leaving thoughtful criticisms asking Spoony to review better material or better yet, stop making as many videos to up the quality of his videos. Of course, Mr. Noah Antwiler wouldn't take any of this and just started banhammering anyone on his site's forums who disagreed with anything he said.

Angry Joe is a guy who has taken AVGN's act and changes 2 things for his personal style: he's Mexican and he reviews current games (and sometimes movies!) rather than ancient ones. First off, I need to say that I am of Mexican descent myself; my parents were both born in Mexico. This guy's English is just downright insulting to children of immigrants. He was clearly born in the US, but talks like a cholo from the 'hood. Of course, no cholo from the ghetto could possibly afford all the games he's played, so it's either all an act, or he really does just sound like a fucking asshole.

Angry Joe has been the source of internet backlash on multiple occasions, resulting in him being the one primarily blamed for Channel Awesome's increasingly worse content. In a review of Red Dead Redemption, he stated that it was refreshing to see such a good game in a market littered with sequels... except Red Dead Redemption is a sequel. In his review of The Last Airbender, he started criticizing things about the plot that were actually ripped straight from the TV show, which he later admitted to not watching. Being that the TV show is incredibly popular, response to his review was not kind even though the movie was terrible.

Joe recently interviewed Geoff Keighley at the VGAs, asking him some fan-submitted questions. For those who don't know, Keighley is a well-respected figure in the gaming industry, on par with the likes of Adam Sessler, and one of the main creators of the Spike VGAs. During the interview, Keighley dismissed Joe's incredibly dumb and inflammatory questions and at one point even told him he had 2 minutes left. Joe began to blow up and came close to openly insulting Keighley before he just walked away from the "interview." Needless to say, Joe is viewed very lowly in the eyes of respectable people in the gaming industry.

Linkara. Honestly, the worst thing I can say about Linkara is that he inserts too many of his political views into his reviews of comic books. Nitpicking aside, Lewis Lovhaug very rarely falls guilty to the trope of not doing the research - this guy knows exactly what he's talking about and makes damn sure about it. If there's any reason at all to visit Channel Awesome other than the Nostalgia Critic's videos pre-2009, it's for Linkara's comic book reviews. He started off reviewing godawful comics from the 90s, but he's taken to reviewing comics from the last 10 years more often these days. Linkara does have one problem, but it has nothing to do with his videos. He is the first one to come to a fellow contributor's defense, especially in the cases of Spoony and Angry Joe. Lovhaug is a great guy who has fantastic videos, but he needs to stop defending these assholes.

OK fine, I'll list 11 reasons to stay the fuck away from that website. Why 11? Because Channel Awesome just sucks that much.

1. The Nostalgia Critic just doesn't try anymore.
2. Spoony has no idea what he's talking about in any of his reviews.
3. Spoony thinks he's far more famous than he really is; it doesn't help that the FF Wiki has an entire page dedicated to him.
4. Angry Joe is a bad stereotype of Mexicans.
5. Joe has no fucking clue what constitutes a good or bad game and just repeats things he hears on that them there internets.
6. Linkara is too quick to defend his compatriots.
7. The Amazing Atheist, now known as the Distressed Watcher, is a goddamn employee of Channel Awesome now, what the fuck?
8. Everyone who reviews manga or anime pretty much either has no idea what they're talking about or are proof that manga and anime are getting increasingly worse every year.
9. The Nostalgia Chick can't find a style or even a name to call her own and has resorted to basically becoming a male Linkara who reviews movies the Nostalgia Critic won't review.
10. They have a fucking store where their loyal fans buy their stupid overpriced shit.
11. They want you to pay them $17.99 for a DVD copy of Kickassia, their shitty 2-year anniversary movie, despite the fact you can watch the entire movie for free on their own website.

So remember kids, be safe and stay the fuck away from Channel Awesome (unless you want to watch Linkara).

Catwoman: A Background

You think you know Catwoman? I seriously doubt it, just look at the nine wildly different costumes she's worn over the years. Catwoman was created in 1940 and first appeared in Batman #1, the same issue that featured the first appearance of the Joker. Taking that into account, that means Catwoman gets a new outfit roughly every 7.9 years. The 3 outfits that Catwoman has actually worn the longest in the comics were the purple and green outfit with no pants, the purple outfit with black go-go boots, and her all-black outfit with goggles. Catwoman's original outfit is the one without a mask.

When Catwoman was originally introduced, she was a cat burglar simply named the Cat who had no romantic interest in Batman and just wanted to continue being a thief while getting Batman out of her hair. Originally intended to be a one-off villain, Catwoman proved popular because she was a female adversary who didn't use sexuality or taking advantage of her gender to achieve her goals. She proved to be popular for a few years, until Batman #62 when DC decided to retire the character in favor of developing new characters.

Catwoman was actually given a very good exodus story, where she suffers head trauma fighting Batman and it is revealed that she has been a criminal all these years because of brainwashing by a larger criminal organization. Catwoman, now revealed to be a stewardess named Selina Kyle, aids Batman in taking down this organization. Afterwards, Selina Kyle decides to retire from being Catwoman and return to being a normal person, but Batman predicts that Gothan City may need Catwoman's assistance once again in the future.

Sure enough, the fans demanded Catwoman come back - as a heroine - and they got almost everything they wanted. Catwoman came back as a cat burglar as she did before, but there was never any mention of her being brainwashed, or being a stewardess, or retiring, or even helping Batman. She was just a cat burglar stealing cat-themed works of art and known to the public as being Selina Kyle, just like the vast majority of Batman's villains have public identities. This incarnation of Catwoman made it to the TV show starring Adam West, but they took some liberties by making her constantly use words with a "purr" sound effect and rolling her R's. This TV version of Catwoman was actually the first time we saw sexual tension between Batman and Catwoman, which would eventually carry over to the comics.

By the time Crisis on Infinite Earths came about, Catwoman was pretty much set in her role as a villain with unknown origins who had sexual tension with Batman. Crisis changed all that, especially after Batman: Year One, the comic that all Batman stories now follow (with the exception of one important retcon). In Year: One, Catwoman was now a stripper and part-time prostitute taking care of a preteen girl named Holly Robinson. Selina Kyle was inspired by Batman's appearance to also become a vigilante, but chose to also steal from the corrupt to fund her activities. Catwoman had a few run-ins with Batman during Year: One and The Long Halloween, but she was never considered an outright villain, just an anti-hero. A few years later during the events of Zero Hour, Catwoman's background was retconned so that she was no longer a prostitute.

A short background on Zero Hour. In 1994, 8 years after Crisis on Infinite Earths rebooted the entirety of DC's canon, a new event was launched that would again reboot the DC Universe, but this time with only subtle differences to fix continuity problems and adjust plot elements that just didn't work anymore. The main purpose of Zero Hour other than fixing these problems was to kill off every Green Lantern and introduce a new Green Lantern, Kyle Rayner.

After Zero Hour, Catwoman became Batman's on again-off again love interest, although only in costume as he never trusted her enough to reveal his identity. Selina Kyle became somewhat of a socialite over the years and ended up dating Bruce Wayne off and on, sometimes at the same time she was dating Batman. This finally came to an end when Batman unmasked himself to Catwoman for the first time during Batman: Hush. Since Batman's unmasking, Catwoman has fought for the side of good and has even been a member of the Birds of Prey.

During the events of 52 and One Year Later, Kyle became pregnant by an unseen father and gave up her daughter, Helena, up for adoption. It's still unknown if Bruce Wayne is the father, but all evidence points to the contrary. For a short period of time, Selina was paralyzed from the waist down and Bruce Wayne visited her in the hospital, admitting that he loved her like no other woman. Shortly after these events, Batman was seemingly killed by Darkseid in Final Crisis. Since Batman's return from the "dead," Catwoman has been fighting alongside him in Batman Incorporated and seems to have an actual stable romantic relationship with him.

It's unknown what the future holds now for Batman and Catwoman, whether they will go beyond where they have been and eventually marry, whether Selina Kyle will move into Wayne Manor, and whether Catwoman can decide to truly join the side of justice. At the end of Batman Incorporated #2, Batman confronted Catwoman with some diamonds that she had stolen during their time in Japan. She returned them and he let her off the hook, but the future is still unwritten.