"Friday" by Rebecca Black

Yeah I know, I'm like 2 months behind this whole "Friday" thing, but I really don't care for Youtube celebrities unless they roll out multiple videos in succession and they're GOOD.

On February 10, 2011, a video was posted on Youtube, featuring the debut single of 13-year-old Rebecca Black, "Friday." Her label, Ark Music Factory, decided that Youtube would be the best place for exposure. Apparently, AMF did not exactly understand that Youtube has a Like/Dislike system rather than 1-5 Stars and people have the ability to comment on videos. As of the writing of this sentence, "Friday" has 69,665,519 views and 1,319,187 dislikes compared to 160,595 likes. Unfortunately for Rebecca, her song is just absolutely horrendous for so many reasons. The lyrics are just atrocious with lines like "Friday, Friday, fun, fun, fun" and "Yesterday was Thursday, today is Friday." The melody sucks too, it's just impossible to sing along with the song (although why anyone would want to is beyond me). And just to top it all off, Rebecca is not a good singer and she needed to be auto-tuned to sound even remotely like she was singing.

She also has a face that stares into your soul.

It's very sad really. Even 5 years ago, Rebecca's single would probably have hit the shelves, maybe an iTunes only single, and then no one would ever hear of who she was. Now with so many singers putting their official music videos on Youtube, music labels are taking risks and putting new singers for the whole world to critique.

This whole "Friday" fiasco is one of the biggest reasons that I believe the music labels are the main culprits of ruining the music industry. Artists are not allowed to own their own music unless they purchase it and even then, it's an auction for the highest bidder. Because of this lack of ownership, there's been a trend ever since the death of Kurt Cobain of musicians making music to make money and not because they love singing and the poetry behind songs. The boy band craze, the teeny boppers of the early 00's, and the Black Eyed Peas; all of these were created by musicians with a relative amount of talent wanting money. The artists who actually sing because they could care less about the money noticeably release songs and albums much more infrequently than those who are all about the cash.

And then, there's weird cases like Lady Gaga. Stefani Germanotta was an unsuccessful and struggling artist in her late teens early 20s, but she possessed uncanny lyrical writing and a voice like few others. Follow in the footsteps of Alicia Keyes, Germanotta did not reinvent herself to become a professional singer and rather just stayed Stefani. None of this worked of course, and she eventually was reborn as Lady Gaga, a woman? who dresses incredibly crazy and has songs you might find in a club. One thing that set those songs apart though, was her ability to actually sing and lyrics with weight behind them. It was a success and now, even though Gaga still dresses crazy and makes songs intended to be danced to, people generally know Lady Gaga to be a fantastic singer with poetry behind her music. Unfortunately, she had to reinvent herself to become known and bring her love of music to the world. As much as she says "this is who I am," it's very clear in interviews that she is incredibly uncomfortable dressing in the outlandish ways she does, similar to how Christina Aguilera was not a fan of all the pop songs she had to sing to compete with Britney Spears.

Left, the Christina manufactured by Disney. Right, X-Tina breaks free from Disney to become herself.

How Each New Dissidia Character Plays

Kain Highwind

• Being that Dissidia is a fighting game in a completely 3D environment, and there are bonuses to slamming enemies into walls or the ground, it was only natural that Kain the Dragoon was given the ability to control an enemy's placement on the battlefield. Each of his main attacks has three direction choices, up, straight, or down. After those attacks, the players can then further choose to either initiate a chase sequence or air dash to the opponent, something no other character can do. Unfortunately, Kain's true potential is hampered in small stages like Edge of Madness or the Phantom Train. Where Kain truly shines is his ability to do massive bravery damage with his HP attacks if they are a great distance from a wall or the floor.

Gilgamesh

• Gilgamesh doesn't really have anything unique to offer and (normally) plays as a fighter with tons of close range physical attacks and a few long range magic attacks. What makes Gilgamesh stand out however, is his nature at randomly picking one of 8 weapons to strike his enemy with. Gilgamesh has the following weapons:
• Excalibur - Double Bravery damage
• Excalipoor - All Bravery damage dealt is 1
• Naginata - Attacks have greater range
• Masamune - Generates more EX Force than usual
• Genji Blade - Depletes opponent's EX Gauge
• Zantetsuken - Has a chance of inflicting Bravery Break
• Battle Axe - Attack does random damage
• Chicken Knife - Does more Bravery damage the lower Gilgamesh's HP is
• In EX Mode, Gilgamesh will randomly select one of 8 weapons for his 8 hands and keep all of them out for the entirety of EX Mode. He also gains the benefits of every single weapon that is out and will attack with all 8 weapons. Because of this, Gilgamesh is a fighter whose true potential is unlocked in EX Mode, similar to Terra, Kefka, and Vaan, but not like Gabranth. Unfortunately, there is a random chance that Gilgamesh can wield 8 Excalipoors, turning Gilgamesh's attacks into crap beyond crap for EX Mode. Thankfully, his EX Burst is quick to execute, if not a bit hard to accurately pull off. Gilgamesh almost falls into the category of Lethal Joke Character since his magic attacks are very hard to avoid and do consistent damage and even picking Excalipoor in EX Burst still causes HP damage.

Tifa Lockhart

• Tifa brings a concept started by Jecht in the last game and expands on it somewhat. At first glance, Tifa simply punches and kicks opponents with combos that can all be executed regardless of whether they hit their target or not, similar to how Jecht plays in EX Mode. Tifa has an added bonus though; she can actually cancel the vast majority of her attacks, including HP attacks, and then warp a short distance to resume attacking. Because of this, Tifa can become unpredictable and extremely devastating. Tifa's EX Mode shares similar properties to how she played in FFVII; her attacks do more damage the fuller her EX Gauge is. Because of that, and the limited benefits of being in EX Mode as Tifa, one should use EX Burst as quickly as possible to gain the maximum benefit.

Laguna Loire

• Laguna excels at mid to long range combat above all else. He has one close range attack, but it knocks the opponent back for a wall rush, just so he can keep using long range attacks. Although his attacks generally hit multiple times and execute very quickly, Laguna has a lot of downtime after attacking and must pause for a while. In EX Mode, this lag is cancelled by simply using another Bravery attack, allowing him to attack enemies relentlessly. He's a very simple character in concept and also very easy to use for beginners.

Yuna

• Surprisingly enough, Yuna is not a long range fighter. Rather, she calls her Aeons to fight for her and some attacks actually require Yuna to be in very close range. She has attacks of every single range at her repertoire, including HP attacks. Where Yuna stands out among other characters is that once she connects with an attack, it is incredibly hard to dodge since they all execute extremely quickly, again including HP attacks. In EX Mode, Yuna calls a 2nd Aeon for all her Bravery attacks, effectively doubling the damage for every single attack. Yuna is a surprisingly top-tier character and character of choice for most people to fight Feral Chaos since Hellfire is incredibly difficult for the AI to avoid.

Prishe

• Originally planned to be FFXI's representative in Dissidia, Prishe was rejected in favor of Shantotto, who is more popular among Japanese gamers. Prishe finally makes her debut here and it is beyond godly. Seriously, the wait was worth it, Prishe is easily the best new character out of the bunch. Prishe is the 2nd character after Onion Knight with BRV->BRV combos, but she has expanded greatly on that concept. Prishe's 2nd Bravery attack can be chose from one of 8 followup attacks which allow the user to customize Prishe to a very large extent. If two attacks (the Monk weapon skills from FFXI) are compatible with each other, they will create a Skillchain, which does not do damage, but will further direct the opponent in a direction based on the last WS used. In EX Mode, Prishe can do 2 follow-up attacks, making all of her combos longer and allowing her to do a Double Skillchain with a few select combos, allowing her to choose whether to cut a combo short or not. Prishe is by far the best character out of the newbies.

Vaan

• Wow, if there was ever a character I desperately did not want in Dissidia, it was Vaan... And yet, despite all that, Vaan is a top-tier character and one of the most enjoyable to play as. Vaan uses a variety of weapons to attack, each Bravery attack using a different weapon. When Vaan switches from one weapon to another, the next weapon uses a stronger, but slower attack than it would had the weapon already been out. The downside to these stronger attacks is that they can be very easy to to avoid. In EX Mode, all of his weapons are buffed to the point that some weapons gain additional attacks, making them even more lethal. But the real bonus is that in EX Mode Vaan can unequip a weapon whenever he wants, allowing him the ability to use the same weapon's "Switch" combo over and over again. Even outside EX mode, Vaan is similar to Bartz since you can't see what weapon he will use until he summons it. Vaan is a lot of fun to play as and I hate every second of it, despite the fact his voice actor got a hell of a lot better in 6 years.

Lightning

• The one character no one expected to be left behind, Lightning can change her role through Paradigm Shift (Optima Change in Japanese) into the roles of either Commando, Ravager, or Medic, each corresponding roughly to distance; Commando excels at close range combat, Ravager is mid-range, and Medic is best when used far from the enemy. This ever changing nature allows Lightning to be effective no matter where she is, but she has a very steep learning curve. She may be pretty difficult to use, but once you master her, she's actually a very good character.

Feral Chaos (Desperado Chaos in JP)

• Feral Chaos finally gives us a playable version of Chaos without hacks! Unfortunately, it's not the "real" Chaos, and thus his moveset is totally different. While Feral Chaos possesses unbelievably strong attacks, her starts off extremely limited: his Bravery constantly depletes and his EX and Assist Gauges do not charge. Not only that, but his abilities cost a mountain of CP, require immense amount of AP to master, and you have to equip abilities just to make him not limited. In addition to all that, Feral Chaos is a massive target and is very bad at dodging hits. Because of all these limits Feral Chaos has, he's not the greatest character in the world and is primarily used for novelty purposes, somewhat similar to Gilgamesh.

How Each Dissidia Character has Changed in 012

This covers only the old characters, not the new characters.

Warrior of Light

• Tweaks to his ground combos make him harder to predict and Shield of Light now now points to the enemy, making it a much better HP attack; Bitter End is not the only HP attack to rely on now. New HP attack Ultimate Shield does bravery damage on the ground, and it's very hard to dodge. WoL was a strong character before and now all of his faults are gone.

 Garland

• Garland has been nerfed in favor of a new bravery attack and a new HP attack, both of which are strong. Although Bardiche executes much faster now, there's less reason to use it since Flare hits targets so easily. With the new moves and nerfs to old ones, Garland doesn't improve.

Firion

• Firion was seriously lacking in the air, although that was by design. To make up for that, he was given Weaponsmaster as an HP attack, the only multi-hit ability he had in the air. It usually was never worth it since it had such poor tracking and usually could only hit while an enemy was dodging. Weaponsmaster's tracking problems have been solved, while Firion's magic has become far more usable and slightly customizable. On the ground, Firion can now combo into any finisher he chooses, originally used by his 3 main combos in the original Dissidia, punching the enemy away, slashing the enemy and then firing an arrow, or striking the enemy with a lance. This option not only make every ground combo viable, but Rope Knife has been buffed to the point that it now can angle up or down, making a short range version of Reel Impulse that was so desired. In addition to all that, he now has a new mid range ground HP attack that is very quick and Straightarrow fires much faster. Firion has been buffed to new heights to the point where he is actually usable in all stages, not just the ones that were mostly flat.

The Emperor

•  Emperor was already a really good character in the hands of a skilled tactician, but now he's even safer to use now that his blue Flare can't be blocked and Dreary Cell is a great new HP attack that adds to the Emperor's trap game. The various mines have also been buffed; Emperor didn't need too many improvements but to maintain competitive balance, he needed a few new moves.

Onion Knight

• Another already good character, Onion Knight now has the ability to buff his attack or magic power, but only one at a time. His combos execute much faster, which won't be noticeable to an opponent, but to someone playing as OK, he is able to connect his attacks much easier, especially his stand-alone HP attacks. His ground magic executes much better too, so there's less incentive to jump around constantly - although he still excels in that. It's a slight buff, but he needed to work with the new jumping mechanics.

Cloud of Darkness

• My favorite predictable character, CoD had tons of HP attacks, but only 2 bravery attacks that were determined based on timing. With 2 more bravery attacks, CoD is a bit harder to predict, even against the computer. With essentially 12 bravery attacks all usable at any time, CoD is a threat even without bravery now. A needed buff, if only for play against human opponents.

Cecil Harvery

• Cecil was a great character in practice and design, but was severely nerfed for the NA/EU versions of Dissidia. This time, Cecil has 2 new HP attacks (one of which is probably the best HP attack in the game) only usable at once and gain benefits by using them while in its respective job. Cecil's infamous Searchlight->Paladin Combo and Paladin Arts->Paladin Combo combos from the JP version are back, allowing Cecil to attack from pretty much anywhere in the stage as long as Searchlight hits its target. While he was utterly devastating and incredibly broken in the JP Dissidia, the return of his infamous combos and his new air HP attack make him a much better character, yet not incredibly broken due to the new rules in Dissidia 012.

Golbez

• Probably one of the best characters in the original game, Golbez received a new HP attack to keep up with the new emphasis on ground combat and some new special/sound effects to his old moves! Golbez is largely unchanged for the better because even with the new rules, he is still a top-tier character.

Bartz Klauser

• Bartz's moveset has almost completely changed, incorporating the attacks from the newcomers, as well as the addition of Cecil's new air HP attack. Bartz needs a completely new play-strategy because of this, and while he does not make a huge improvement in bravery attacks, his new HP attack selection make him a far better character; Hellfire and Luminous Wave alone make him probably the best Cosmos character.

Exdeath

• The only direction Exdeath could go was down since he was the unquestioned best character of Dissidia. His blocks have new names, with better descriptions of what they block. The move formerly called High Block has been severely nerfed, unable to block the same HP attacks as last time. Omni Block is still fantastic and should be the bread and butter move for Exdeath veterans. It's a slight nerf, but Exdeath is still one of the best characters.

Terra Branford

• Terra desperately needed better ground attacks, but she gets them at the expense of nerfing her air game and melee combos. With 012's new rules, it makes sense to strengthen Terra on the ground, but Blizzard Combo and Blizzara aren't nearly as good anymore. Holy Combo stays incredibly strong, but Ultima has been nerfed. Thunder's tracking has been improved, but Meteor received no imrovements. Graviga gets a buff and Fire gets a BRV->HP combo with Firaga, but in the end it all stays even to make Terra less good in the air and better on the ground. To make up for the various nerfs, Terra is even better in EX mode now that she has two BRV->HP combos and Meltdown has become her best move to use in EX mode now that its effects are customizable in EX.

Kefka Palazzo

• Although Kefka doesn't have any new moves, his old moves have better tracking outside EX mode, Hyperdrive can now go into the air, and Forsaken Null doesn't require Kefka to be stationary. It seems like small improvements, but Kefka has buffed to unbelievable levels, especially considering that Kefka has always been viewed as needing to be in EX mode as much as possible. His EX game is even stronger because of the buffs, rivaling Gabranth in improvements to power in EX mode.

Cloud Strife

• Cloud can use Meteorain and Double Cut can be used in the air now, but the biggest improvements have been made to how he executes his combos. Cloud was incredibly predictable before, but now he can choose to end a combo more or less whenever he chooses, allowing him to fake out his opponent. Because of that, Cloud's AI has also improved to the point it's no longer easy to make fun of on Youtube.

Sephiroth

• Sephy has one new bravery attack on the ground, while Shadow Flare and Hell's Gate have been buffed. In exchange for that, Sephiroth's old timed-hits have been nerfed and he doesn't hit enemies as many times as he did before. This is actually advantageous since he attacks faster now, rather than focusing on catching an enemy not paying attention. Overall, Sephiroth doesn't improve that heavily, still remaining an easy- to-use character.

Squall Leonhart

• Previously the best Cosmos character with an incredibly broken AI, Squall receives one new air bravery attack that isn't very good. The only improvement Squall needed was for Fated Circle, which now has a magnet effect. Squall also noticeably attacks slower with some combos, which doesn't affect him as a playable character, but makes his AI much dumber, which needed to happen. Squall improves sideways, but it's a good thing since he was already super good.

Ultimecia

• Ultimecia at first glance gets a few nerfs, but actually gets her attacks strengthened in attack power. Her HP attacks, her biggest flaw, have vastly improved with Apocalypse being much better at a distance, Shockwave Pulsar being usable more than just above an enemy, and new attack Hell's Judgment being a great HP attack to use after using an Assist. She's improved greatly and it doesn't take a million years to win a battle with her anymore.

Zidane Tribal

• Zidane receives huge buffs to his magic, especially his infamous Tidal Flame, which you can no longer play Tennis with. His air combos are even better, if at all possible, and it's a lot easier to connect his attacks.

Kuja

• Kuja's new HP attack, Force Symphony, is obviously an addition to be used after an Assist. Seraphic Star got a huge boost and actually tracks opponents now. It was my favorite HP attack before, only hampered because it could never hit anything. Kuja was great before, but he got even better.

Tidus

• He gets one new air BRV->HP combo, but it's one he already had on the ground. Despite his notoriety for being a dodger and BRV-HP combo guy, his blitzball attacks have been hugely buffed and there's more incentive to use his non-BRV->HP combos. It's not a huge buff, but Tidus is definitely less predictable now.

Jecht

• The one character that needed no buffs whatsoever, Jecht gets a new HP attack which strikes almost instantly at close range, but does no BRV damage. Jecht's charges are much faster now, to make up for 012's faster paced combat. To make Jecht not broken and not even more impossible to learn, Jecht Beam and Jecht Blade share the same combos, while his other HP attacks can now chain from any point at the end of a combo. This is similar to how Firion and Terra were changed, but most people will probably end up using the old Jecht combos.

Shantotto

• NERFED. Although Shantotto's strongest HP attacks can be used with lower HP now, Bio just plain sucks now. Bind has better tracking now, but it doesn't make up for Bio being nerfed to hell and back. Shantotto needed some buffs and she doesn't get any. She's merely an average character now, even though her HP attacks are much easier to land now.

Gabranth

• This one is complicated. Dissidia 012 nerfed EX mode in general by making not last as long, so how do you adjust Gabranth, the character who was only ever good in EX mode? Quite simply, EX Charge charges three times as fast, maybe faster. While outside EX mode his attacks do more hits and allow Gabranth more time to go into EX mode, which he didn't need in the first place. In EX mode, Dual Rend has been nerfed to do far less hits, which is very disappointing. Gabranth has one new attack, which was pretty much exactly what he was lacking, a ground ranged attack that is way more reliable than Aero, which was much better in the air anyway. At first glance Gabranth has been nerfed due to 012's new mechanics, but he actually remains about the same due to the faster paced combat.

Chaos

• Although not a playable character, he's still a character you fight against. Chaos doesn't have any new moves and because air combat has been nerfed, he's easier than ever to beat. It's kind of sad, but of course Dissidia 012 makes up for it by giving Chaos another form which is playable and incredibly broken,but only once you start mastering abilities.

As far as the new characters go, they're fantastic, but the only one that is above above-average is Prishe.

NBA Stories ESPN Won't Talk About, Part II

It's time again for the best NBA stories ESPN refuses to acknowledge!

• The Celtics have clearly crashed and burned since the trade with Oklahoma City. Even though the Celtics were not a bad team at all with no Shaq or Perkins active, the sheer fact that Perkins was traded when nobody on the team including coaching staff and Perkins himself wanted a trade shows a serious discontent within the franchise. The Celtics also lost Nate Robinson in exchange for Jeff Green, essentially trading a proven bench player for an untested young player. Danny Ainge at this point is going to win worst GM of the year for not only making their team worse, but totally destroying the hopes and dreams of everyone on the team. ESPN has thus far refused to acknowledge that the Celtics are done.
• The Houston Rockets have a very good chance of getting the #8 seed now that the Grizzlies are without Rudy Gay. Thus far, ESPN has failed to acknowledge that the Rockets' trade to get rid of Shane Battier and Aaron Brooks has actually been a good thing.
• It seems that ESPN has totally forgotten that the Oklahoma City Thunder still exist and are just as good with their new squad. Perkins hasn't really proven himself yet, but the true test will come in the playoffs where they will most likely face the Denver Nuggets who are on fire since getting rid of Carmelo and strengthening their post play.
• Curiously, the Heat have fallen off ESPN's radar after they lost some very important games and barely managed to win against the 76ers among other teams. The Heat are showing their true colors again and ESPN doesn't like acknowledging it.
• Now that Stan Van Gundy is attacking the media since David Stern can't fine him for it, ESPN has largely declared SVG an idiot for questioning that anyone other than Derrick Rose should win MVP. Although it's true that Rose has been the unquestioned MVP, Dwight Howard does deserve recognition for pretty much single-handedly maintaining the Magic in playoff contention. But by that logic, Kobe Bryant should have won MVP every year they made the playoffs after Shaq was traded away. Shame on ESPN for not explaining why Howard is a valuable player, but not the most valuable.
• Finally, it seems that ESPN won't acknowledge that despite the fact that Dallas has been the most consistent team of the decade in the regular season, they always choke in the playoffs. There are signs already that they will choke it all again, but ESPN is too chicken to admit it.

Dissidia 012[duodecim] Final Fantasy

Dissidia 012[duodecim] Final Fantasy... That's quite the mouthful, isn't it? Dissidia 012 is the prequel to Dissidia Final Fantasy, the Final Fantasy fighting game that fans had clamored for-for years. With Dissidia's success, Tetsuya Nomura started work on a second Dissidia, a prequel, since the original was stated to be the 13th conflict and Dissidia had a definite ending. 012 mostly serves as an update to Dissidia, so much so that it includes the entire original game redone in the style of 012.

Dissidia 012 improved on every possible gameplay flaw while actually adding replay value once you finish the story mode, something I thought to be impossible. The graphics are as good as ever for the PSP, probably the last big release PSP game. The story however... When the original Dissidia was released, it wasn't a particularly innovating story, but the sheer amount of references and fanservice was enough to make the story a fanboy's wet dream. With Dissidia 012, there are retcons to the original story (for the better) and 012's main story is written incredibly poorly. Everything that much of us were looking forward to is wasted is various ways, like limited spoken dialogue between Yuna, Jecht, and Evil Tidus, no dialogue between Vaan and Gabranth, and little contact between Squall and Laguna.

If anything new in the story is interesting at all, it's that there have been many warriors of Cosmos and Chaos throughout the cycles and that sometimes new warriors are summoned, as is the case with Tifa in 012. It's also implied that warriors of Cosmos and Chaos are constantly betraying their allegiances and switching sides, mostly as reference to the fact that there are several good guys and villains who used to play for the other team, as is the case with Cecil, Terra, Cloud, Golbez, Kefka, Sephiroth, Kuja, Jecht, and Gabranth, just to name the warriors seen so far. It's disappointing then (and yet also refreshing), that Tetsuya Nomura has stated he doubts another Dissidia would be made since he fears the series would fall into the same problem other fighting games have, lack of innovation and refusal to change.
 
Story: 5/10, or 8/10, depending on whether you played the original Dissidia or not
Gameplay: 10/10
Presentation: 10/10
Replay Value: 10/10

Average Score: 8.8/10 for Dissidia veterans, 9.5/10 for first-timers

Despite it's glaring flaws in the story, Dissidia 012 is still a very great game even though there are tons of eye-rolling moments throughout the story of 012. It really makes me wish I could see the other 11 incredibly stupid ways the Cosmos warriors fail to win Dissidia if 012's grand plan somehow led to Cosmos finally winning in 013. The biggest highlight of 012 obviously are the new characters, Kain, Gilgamesh, Tifa, Laguna, Yuna, Prishe, Vaan and Feral/Desperado Chaos. I can say with upmost confidence that each and every new character brings something unique to the table and tons of enjoyment.

Update, Partial Second Opinion

It seems I jumped ahead of myself a bit on judging 012's story, but only partially. 012's story is only partially unlocked through the Main Scenario and you only get to see segments of the story that are always relevant to the plot of 012 and the new characters' plot to stop the Manakins. By playing 013 and the Reports, you unlock Side Scenarios that not only reveal more of the plot, but more fanservice moments, including a very lenghty conversation between Squall and Laguna (if it can be called that, knowing Squall lol), and a discussion between Firion and Lightning discussing how they are both associated with roses, among many others that just scream FANSERVICE and more connections between the plots of 012 and 013. The problem with these side scenarios however, is that they take far too long to unlock for new content. I'm barely halfway through 013's story and I still have yet to unlock the majority of 012's side scenarios.

Updated Score for Dissidia veterans:     9.3/10

In my next post, I'm going to discuss in detail all the changes made to every character's move sets and how things have changed for the better (majority) or worse (very very few). Stand by for my Donkey Kong Country Returns review.... um... eventually!

Tim Linceum Apparently Can Not Gain Weight

3 Double-Doubles, 2 orders of Fries, and a Milkshake. According to Tim "The Freak" Lincecum, this is exactly what he regularly orders at In-N-Out Burger every time he goes. In case you forgot what Tim Lincecum looks like....

Like a boss. Expect San Francisco In-N-Out Burgers to change the above order to "The Lincecum" or "The Freak".

Apparently, Timmy actually desires to gain weight this season, recently weighing in at 168 pounds (with clothes) at his allegedly 5'11" (more than likely he's actually 6'1") frame. Meanwhile, poor Pablo Sandoval, to quote Jim Caple of ESPN.com, "...probably gains weight just watching Lincecum eat."

"If I could get my hands on those burgers, I could get up to 300 lbs.!"

Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings

This game is a few years old now, and I only picked it up because the price dropped to $12; there was no way I'd pick up a Final Fantasy handheld sequel for full price.

After Square-Enix's success with Final Fantasy X-2 and Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, it became inevitable that SE would start producing sequels for the "numbered" Final Fantasy games. Other than X-2, VII's movie sequel, and its game sequel, SE has also made Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings, Final Fantasy IV: The After Years, and is currently developing Final Fantasy XIII-2. So far, none of these sequels have been particularly bad and have been very easy to produce, turning them into a cashcow for Square-Enix, similar to their multiple game remakes and re-releases. Today, I'm going to focus on Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings, a game that was actually planned at the same time as Final Fantasy XII, but not as a sequel to XII. To fully experience XII's story, you must also experience Revenant Wings to get the full picture.

Revenant Wings is similar to the X-2 and Dirge of Cerberus in that it does not use the same battle system as the original game. Rather than have real-time turn based combat, FFXII:RW is a Real Time Strategy game, somewhat similar to Starcraft or Age of Empires. The basic premise of combat is you have 5 group leaders (the main party members) and their summoned espers who are the main fighting units. Each group leader starts battles with 2 espers, but various conditions allow you to summon more espers or allocate all your espers to 1 leader. Units are divided in three types: Melee, Ranged, and Flying, in a "rock-paper-scissors" battle system. Melee units easily dispatch Ranged units, but are weak to Flyers. Ranged are good against Flying, but are weak to Melee. Flyers are good against Melee, but weak to Ranged. In order to make strategy even more diverse, some units also have elemental strengths and weaknesses, causing you to carefully select which espers and party members to bring before a battle.

The story of Revenant Wings picks up immediately after the end of Final Fantasy XII, which takes place a year after the liberation of Dalmasca. I can't really give away too much of RW's story since it almost immediately spoils events from the end of FFXII. Needless to say, there are evil forces at work and just because the threat of the Archadian Empire has ceased doesn't mean there will be everlasting peace (we can look to Final Fantasy Tactics as a huge example of that).

Story: 8/10
Gameplay: 9/10
Presentation: 9/10
Replay Value: 7/10

Average Score: 8.25/10

Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings is by no means perfect or groundbreaking, but it's still a really fun game. If you enjoyed Final Fantasy XII's story and want more or you want a great RTS title on a portable system, you should look into Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings.


My next game reviews will be for Donkey Kong Country Returns and Dissidia 012 Final Fantasy.

Why do Natural Disasters Bring Out the Worst in People?

Over the weekend, Japan suffered probably its greatest disaster ever, an 8.9 earthquake, a tsunami so massive it wiped out an entire city from the map, and a potential nuclear meltdown. Although so far the death toll is small for a disaster of this magnitude, we have to thank the Japanese peoples' preparedness for just such a scenario. Unfortunately, it's times like these that bring out the worst in people.

Over the last few days, an unfortunately large amount of disparaging comments have been made towards the Japanese, particularly on Facebook. The vast majority of these comments state that this is what the Japanese get for bombing Pearl Harbor. Of particular, and rather ironic note, most of the people making these "karmic" comments are African-American. Even worse still, most of these comments are from people younger than 30. Why do blacks between the age of 20-30 seem to hate the Japanese so much, at least on Facebook? It's quite mind-boggling really. A women's college basketball player recently had to make a public apology for comments she made on her Facebook that echoed these "Pearl Harbor karma" comments.

Gilbert Gottfried posted a few Earthquake/Tsunami related jokes on his twitter, which ended up getting him fired as the voice of the AFLAC duck. Gottfried probably didn't know that AFLAC is the number 1 insurance provider in Japan. Although Gottfried has become known recently for making "too-soon" jokes, particularly at the expense of his good friend Greg Giraldo's death, the Japan jokes crossed the line, even though they were funny.

Of course, this isn't the first time something like this has happened. After every major natural disaster, disparaging comments about the victims always pop up, but with the proliferation of social media, these comments spread faster and further.

/end rant

Proof Gamespot is Officially Made of Morons

Go watch this video, showcasing two Gamespot employees covering Dissidia 012 [Duodecim] Final Fantasy. It's 20 minutes long and yes, you need to see the entire thing. There are numerous gaffes throughout the video and proof that the once great Gamespot is now clinging to life as IGN, Joystiq, and Gametrailers take over Internet-based gaming coverage.

Done watching that video?

Pretty bad wasn't it? So when exactly did Gamespot start going downhill? To start off with, it was their review of Chrono Cross, which they (now) controversially gave a perfect 10. Back when Chrono Cross came out, Square could do no wrong and was largely infallible. To give a Square game a bad rating was blasphemous and Gamespot took it to new levels by giving the incredibly average Chrono Cross a perfect 10 score. Thinking the game would be epic based on the score, many fans of Chrono Trigger were very disappointed in the sequel.

But the straw that broke the camel's back for most people was their review of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Now, by no means is Twilight Princess the greatest Zelda game ever, but it is still an incredibly good game that most people would agree should be rated between a 9.2 or 9.4. It has it's flaws preventing it from being better than Wind Waker, but it is by no means a disappointment or at all bad. Gamespot apparently didn't feel that way and rated Twilight Princess an 8.8, extremely controversial because no Zelda game had EVER been given a rating less than a 9.0 by any major gaming publication or website. At first many Wii and/or Nintendo haters used this score to gloat about the superiority of the 360 or PS3, but then many other reviews began pouring in and eventually Twilight Princess locked in an aggregate score of 95/100. At this point, it became very clear that the Gamespot reviewer was out of his mind.

In fact, he truly was. The man who reviewed Twilight Princess not only admitted that he hated the action/adventure genre, but he hates Zelda games. For Gamespot to hire someone who was already biased against not only a particular genre, but a particular franchise shows incredibly poor journalistic integrity. In the original review, it was stated that the only reason the game did not get a higher score was because the Wii version had tacked on motion controls and was really just a port of a Gamecube game. When the Gamecube version came out a few months later, he reviewed that version as well and, surprise surprise, he gave it an 8.9. Apparently, the native controls that he so begged for just could not get the score pushed enough to get that "precious" 9.0. The review was insulting and from that day forward, no one looked at Gamespot seriously.


Dissidia 012 [Duodecim] Final Fantasy comes out March 22 in North America.

Enrique's NBA Playoffs Prediction and my Final Sports Related Post Until the Playoffs

Per my prediction in my previous post, I officially predict the following:

Lakers go on a bad stretch, but enter the playoffs re-energized. The Lakers eventually win the Finals in 7 games. The Heat are slightly re-energized, but they lose in the East Finals.

In the immediate future, I'm predicting the Lakers to lose against Dallas and Orlando while the Heat get back on track and manage an average record from this point forward. Once the playoffs hit, the Lakers will have a similar performance from last year, struggling early in the first round, but eventually steamrolling through the Western Conference to reach the Finals. If the Heat meet the Knicks in the first round, I predict a tough series, but the Heat will prevail. If the standings continue the way they are though, the Heat will lose to the Bulls in the 2nd round.

The way Miami played was exactly how they needed to, actually playing in the goddamn post for once and allowing Chris Bosh to play the way he does. Miami also miraculously got help from their bench, scoring points that if not scored, would have led to an easy Lakers victory. The Lakers played pretty well, with the exception of Kobe who was well-guarded by Dwyane Wade. Ron Artest and Matt Barnes each did fantastic jobs containing LeBron, but it just wasn't enough.

If things continue the way they are, the Lakers will steamroll through the playoffs while the Heat will fall once they start getting overconfident again or the bench has another epically bad stretch.

Why Tonight Could Potentially Determine the Fate of the NBA Playoffs and Beyond

In just over an hour from now, the epic collision between Heat and Lakers will happen again. With the Celtics officially out of the Finals race with the loss of Kendrick Perkins and the indefinite absences of the O'Neals, the new favorites to win the East are the Bulls, Magic, and Heat in that order. In the West, it's become clear that the only team capable of winning the West without fatigue are the Lakers who have been steamrolling their competition since the All-Star Break, mostly consisting of teams that are title contenders. Since the Break, the Heat have also managed to not only lose, but lose in epic fashion 5 games in a row.

Based on the way these to teams have been playing, the Lakers have about an 80% chance of winning by 20+ points. However, one must keep in mind that it's games like this that can make a team that is performing very poorly perform exceptionally well. Despite all that, the Heat have been exposed and have three glaring weaknesses: their complete lack of post-play, the weakness of LeBron when he is double-teamed, and the complete lack of talent on the bench. Meanwhile, the Lakers have three big men who are all averaging double-doubles, Kobe thrives on being double-teamed, and the Lakers bench is one of the deepest in the league.

Here, I present multiple possible scenarios for the rest of the reason based on what happens tonight:

• Lakers defeat Heat by 10+ points
• Lakers continue to steamroll through the regular season and sweep the playoffs en route to their three-peat. The Heat are re-energized, but fall in the Conference Semis or East Finals.
• Lakers defeat Heat by 9 or less points
• Lakers continue to do well, but lose occasionally. The playoffs go well for the Lakers and they win their 3rd consecutive championship. The Heat are crushed beyond belief and Erik Spoelstra is eventually fired as head coach. The Heat lose in the 1st round of the playoffs.
• Heat defeat Lakers by 9 or less points
• Lakers go on a bad stretch, but enter the playoffs re-energized. The Lakers eventually win the Finals in 7 games. The Heat are slightly re-energized, but they lose in the East FInals.
• Heat defeat Lakers by 10+ points
• Lakers get revenge by demolishing the Mavericks this weekend and begin steamrolling again through the season until they reach the NBA Finals, where they may or may not win. The Heat are immensely re-energized, but still falter in the East Finals.
• LeBron or Wade again fail to make a game-winning or game-tying shot
• Erik Spoelstra is immediately fired as head coach.
• LeBron or Wade makes the game-winning/tying shot
• Confidence boost even superior to that of normally beating Lakers by 9 or less points. They potentially make the NBA Finals, but get swept by the Lakers.
• Kobe makes the game winning shot
• Lakers eventually sweep the playoffs.
• Kobe misses game winning shot
• Lakers lose this weekend at Dallas and possibly lose at home to the Magic, but they enter the playoffs similar to last year.

This is only my guess of what could possibly happen, note that only one scenario leads to the Lakers not guaranteed to win it all. The only team I could see beating the Lakers in the Finals are the Chicago Bulls who have a real shot to win it all if the Lakers start to crumble.

NBA Temperatures: Miami Heat at 1 Degree Celsius, Lakers at 99 Degrees

To start off the night, the Lakers have continued to steamroll their competition since the All-Star Break, defeating the Atlanta Hawks by 14 points. This game is of particular note because it is actually the first time Pau Gasol has ever defeated the Hawks at Atlanta as a Laker, Gasol and Bynum both got double-doubles, and Kobe Bryant surpassed Moses Malone's scoring record to become #6 on the all-time scoring leaders, now behind his former teammate Shaquille O'Neal. If Shaq does not retire at the end of this season, it is entirely likely that Kobe and Shaq will battle for the #5 spot around the middle or possibly end of next season.

Meanwhile down in Miami, the Heat were struggling the entire game against the Portland Trail Blazers, a team they have no business struggling to. When I say the Heat were struggling, I literally mean that; the only two players contributing were LeBron James and Dwyane Wade. Much to no one's surprised, LeBron again became Mr. Invisible during the 4th Quarter. The Heat were outright outclassed and no chance of winning whatsoever against the new-look Blazers, who beat the Heat by 9 points. Although the Blazers have lost some bench players, Brendon Roy and Gerald Wallace are currently coming off the bench and it's become clear that the Blazers are not going to be satisfied with being a first round exit team again this year. If the standings remain the same, Dallas is in serious risk of getting upset in the first round (again).

At this point of the season, it's become clear what Miami's problems are (which I listed in an earlier post): No true PG, No inside presence, No respect for the coach. If Miami loses to the Lakers on Thursday (which is looking increasingly more likely), expect the boo-birds to come out in full-force, calling for Spoelstra's and [whichever of the Big 3 has a bad game, most likely Bosh] heads. If the Lakers beat the Heat Thursday, I can guarantee that Pat Riley will fire Erik Spoelstra and un-retire from coaching, he will remain as GM and trade away every single player that has failed to contribute (Bosh, Bibby, Miller, Jones, Dampier, and Ilgauskas) and sign any free agent willing to work for minimum wage.

Suffice it to say, it's incredibly likely that Miami will enter re-building mode this offseason regardless of what happens Thursday, because they will not get past the 2nd round of the playoffs playing the way they've played all season.

A neat stat for you: with the Lakers victory in Atlanta, they not only extend their win streak to 8 games, but they tied their previous longest win streak of the season.

Miami Crashes and Freezes, Lakers Show Why They're the Champions

Today there was a "marquee double-header" as ESPN loves to hype, the Chicago Bulls vs the Miami Heat and the Los Angeles Lakers vs the San Antonio Spurs. Although I usually hate how much ESPN hypes up key games, I was actually looking forward to these two games because they would ultimately be proof of whether or not the Heat were just going through a bad slump and if the Lakers' Playoff Switch indeed existed.

Copyright NBA 2011

Miami has been notoriously going through very hard times recently, blowing a gigantic lead tot he Magic, getting blown out by the Spurs, and now facing the possibility of getting swept in the season series by the Bulls. When the game started, it looked like Miami finally decided to pull out of their slump (if it was one) and play like ESPN had been hyping all season long... that is until halftime. Just like the Magic game, Miami blew a significant lead they had against their opponent. In the end, once again, LeBron failed to score ANY points in the 4th Quarter including attempting yet ANOTHER game-winning shot which again failed to go in. It was thankfully rebounded by Dwyane Wade, but even he couldn't get his shot to go.

In the end, the Heat lost again because of their hubris. Actually, that's not completely fair. LeBron James is the one person to blame, especially for this loss. LeBron scored no points in the 4th quarter and attempted the game winning shot. Why the hell would he think he could make that shot WHEN HE'S MISSED IT SEVENTEEN PREVIOUS TIMES THIS SEASON. After the game, LeBron blamed himself for the loss, but it was too little to late. The damage has been done and it's becoming clear that LeBron James is just not that good. ESPN talked non-stop about how good LeBron was as a rookie (which is an undeniable fact) and how he would become even better once he had 5-7 more years of experience. Well, it's been 7 years and LeBron has managed to improve sideways, in other words, he's remained the same player. The only thing that's changed is that LeBron is very rarely referred to as King James these days. I have a new nickname for him: Mr. 1st Half.

Not exactly making things any better, Dwyane Wade continues to make excuses for his team's continued shitty performance in games that actually matter. It's rather sad how Wade's team, formerly known as Wade County, has been usurped by LeBron. I've always liked Dwyane Wade and I really feel sorry for him. Wade had the opportunity to leave the Heat and go to his hometown Bulls, but LeBron convinced Wade to stay so that they could create a so-called superteam along with Chris Bosh and other free agents. At this point, Wade has to be regretting his decision to stay with the only team he's ever known.

Making things even worse though, was Erik Spoelstra, who decided to be a wiseass and call out his players for crying in the locker room. Although no names were given, most people predict it was either Bosh or LeBron. It'll be up to Pat Riley as to whether or not Spolestra's decision to call out his players was a good idea or not, though personally, I think Riley will fire Spoelstra either tomorrow morning or at the end of the season.

Copyright NBAE 2011

Now we get to transition from the Heat losing to... the team that the Heat most recently lost to. On Friday, the Spurs absolutely demolished Miami in a performance that was seen as dominating to the point of showcasing why the Spurs are legitimate title contenders.

And then Kobe and the Lakers came to town. You could tell something special was going to happen since the Spurs beat the Lakers handily back in December and won off an Antonio McDyess tip-in last month. The Lakers have been on a 6-game winning streak since the All-Star Break (or losing embarrassingly to the Crapaliers, pick your poison) and the Spurs have been on cloud nine after annihilating the Heat.

Instead of a classic match-up of the ages, we got another annihilation, but it wasn't who we expected it to be.

At one point in the 3rd quarter, the Lakers were leading by 32 points. That's all I need to say to illustrate how hilariously awful the Spurs played today. Actually to be fair, it wasn't for their lack of trying. If the Lakers' defense weren't so good, San Antonio would probably have played just like they did on Friday. The Lakers were just plain better in every single way and demonstrated exactly why they're the two-time defending NBA champions: When they actually care about a game, no team can possibly beat them.

The game got so boring at one point that ESPN's own Big Three of Mike Breen, Mark Jackson, and Jeff Van Gundy started talking about how the Miami Heat choked yet again. Normally I would be offended by commentators talking about other games in the middle of a game, but the Lakers vs Spurs game was over and Breen made the most fascinating comment I've ever heard from an ESPN announcer: Mike Breen was unbelievably close to apologizing for ESPN hyping the Heat since LeBron's "Decision." The only thing that stopped him from all-out saying the apology was probably fear of getting fired. The best quote from Breen was "Miami has been hyped all season and we're responsible for that as well." My respect for Breen went up quite a bit after that quote!

This Thursday, the Lakers travel to Miami to face their rematch for losing on Christmas. The way both teams have been playing, it seems obvious that the Lakers will win, but stranger things have happened and I'm not taking my chances.

Why the New-Look Miami Heat Have Been a Spectacular Failure

AP Photo/ Bahram Mark Sobhani

There are many reasons why the Miami Heat have managed to fail spectacularly in all the games that actually matter this regular season. Although it is generally accepted by this point that the only function for the regular season is determining playoff seeding and draft lottery chances, there still are important statistics to take into account, the most important being that the team that wins the regular season series almost always goes on to win in the playoffs if the two teams should meet. When it comes to West vs East matches, they become even more significant if its a match-up that could potentially by any chance be an NBA Finals preview.

During this past season, the Miami Heat have not only managed to accumulate a losing record against teams with a record of .500 or better, but they have yet to beat a team with a .700 record or better. The Heat have also become notorious for being unable to maintain huge leads and win games decides by 5 points or less. With that in mind, I present to you the reasons the Heat have been such a failure in no particular order:

1. LeBron James' Arrogance Coupled With His Teammate's Lack of Heart
• In every game decided by 5 points or less that the Heat lost, LeBron James ended up taking the go-ahead shot to either tie or win the game. If he had actually made them, we'd all be talking about how clutch James was, but he didn't make them so instead, we're all talking about how LeBron needs to stop being such a ballhog at the end of games... except the only teammate he can honestly trust to make a game-winning basket is Dwyane Wade. No other Heat, specifically none of the supposed expert 3-point shooters, is known for being clutch.
2. Shitty Point Guards and Centers
• LeBron James hates being called a point guard and would rather be referred to as a small forward. That would be fine by me if he would actually play like an SF and not a Combo Guard. James has gathered the most triple-doubles of any small forward in the history of the NBA in his short time playing. Well, if James wants to keep playing SF, let him. In the meantime, the Heat has an incredibly poor selection of PGs because they were really counting on Derek Fisher leaving the Lakers to go to Miami. Making things even worse, the Heat have horrible centers as well, having to rely on Zydrunas Ilgauskas, the man once known as being THE Cavalier, as their go-to center. Although it's true that the Chicago Bulls won championships without dominating centers like Shaq, Duncan, or Bynum, they still had a great rotation of point guards and backup centers. This Heat team is basically relying only on the SG, SF, and PF positions. Which brings us to...
3. Chris Bosh Either Doesn't Give a Shit or He Has Been Massively Overrated
• I don't need to explain this one. Chris Bosh is having his worst season ever and either had inflated stats playing for the Toronto Raptors, or he just likes living in Miami getting lots of attention rather than living in obscurity in Toronto. My guess is that Bosh was just a massively overrated player.
4. Erik Spoelstra May Be A Student of Pat Riley, But He Has No Leadership Skills
• Spolestra's style of coaching and the plays he designs are straight out of the Showtime Lakers and Wade & Shaq Heat handbook. Yet, LeBron and the newest members of the Heat generally run their own plays and give Spoelstra lots of eye-rolls. It's sad to say, but if Spolestra were canned and Riley were to step in, he'd design the same plays and use the same rotation of players, but the players would likely follow them more because Riley is THE Pat Riley.
5. Hubris and Hype
• Here, I'm not quite sure which has been worse: the Heat's continued excuses that "Rome wasn't built in a day" or "These things take time" or "It's unrealistic to expect results so quickly," or the unbelievable amount of hype ESPN has been feeding to the masses. Whatever the case, the arrogance on part of the Heat as well as ESPN's (until recently) continued hype of the Heat has been this continuing perpetuating cycle; the more ESPN hypes the Heat, the more they make excuses, and then ESPN hypes them more. With the embarrassingly hilarious losses to the Magic and Spurs two days in a row, all the Heat need is another loss to the Bulls on Sunday to cement ESPN stopping all hype.

In order for the Miami Heat to live up to their hype, they need a massive overhaul at this point. At this rate, I expect them to be a first round exit come Playoffs.

The Best NBA Stories ESPN Won't Talk About

ESPN has long be accused of having a bias towards East Coast teams in every major sport and the Lakers. I'm not going to dispute that because quite frankly, it's true. The Western Conference gets very little coverage on ESPN other than the Lakers to the point that the Spurs are a non-story to ESPN and the Mavericks holding on to the #2 seed even without Caron Butler is ignored, instead focusing on "what's wrong with the Lakers?" There's nothing wrong with them idiots, they're just bored! This same shit happened to the Shaq & Kobe Lakers during their three-peat year and both three-peat years for the Bulls.

But there's other stories that ESPN simply will not acknowledge whatsoever, and I'm here to tell you them and why they're so fascinating.

• The Philadelphia 76ers are above .500 for the first time this season and are playoff contenders. This is huge news because Doug Collins was seen by ESPN as a coach with only marginal talent, but he's taken a team from the bottom three all the way back to .500 basketball. Expect them to do better in the playoffs this year than the Bobcats did last year.
• The Phoenix Suns have been above .500 for a while now, receiving lot of benefit from that trade with Orlando. At this point in the season, it's become incredibly obvious that the General Manager for the Orlando Magic should have his ass fired for getting Vince Carter, Gilbert Arenas, and Jason Richardson on the team while giving up key players to their rotation. Who the fuck trades away their backup center in exchange for another 3-point shooter? Phoenix has been doing so much better that it looks like the Warriors will have no hope of getting a playoff berth.
• The Houston Rockets have quietly become the most improved team in the NBA compared to the first month of play. They had a very rough schedule after expecting Yao to be healthy, only to see him get injured AGAIN. The Rockets have clearly given up, choosing to trade away Shane Battier and Aaron Brooks, while getting Hasheem LOL Thabeet to hopefully start rebuilding mode. Expect Rick Adelman to say sayonara if this is the case.
• This one's a bit of a twofer. The Carmelo-less Nuggets are now ahead of the New Orleans Hornets in the standings. After beginning the season as the final team to lose a game, the Hornets have crashed and burned in more ways than one. With the team now owned by the NBA after their owner declared bankruptcy, the team having the possibility of being contracted, and their star player possibly leaving whether the team is contracted or not, things can't possibly get much worse for the Hornets.
• Here's one ESPN is simply just dodging the elephant in the room about. The Los Angeles Clippers are one of the worst road teams in the league, having won just 5 games on the road so far (including against the Lakers). Management clearly sees this as an issue, just by seeing their trade deadline actions and players getting bought out.

 That's all for this edition of NBA Stories that ESPN Won't Talk About.

Oscars Recap

Well, I batted an even .500 for my Oscar picks, but my second place pick for Leading Actress pulled through. I was incredibly surprised to see Tom Hooper win for Best Director, especially after many thought Christopher Nolan to be the greatest directing snub of the past decade. Most thought for sure Aronofsky would finally win. As far as Best Picture, most people made a pick of The Social Network because the film that wins Best Screenplay and Best Editing, whether it be Adapted or Original Screenplay, has only lost Best Picture 3 times. After Aaron Sorkin predictably won (which I predicted, but not officially), it became even more apparent that The Social Network would win. The King's Speech winning was an incredible shock even though it was a favorite to win recently. I still think Toy Story 3 was the best movie out of the 10 nominees, but there is no way the Academy would let an animated movie win Best Picture, even though Beauty and the Beast came dangerously close to doing so.

Here are the big things that stood out to me:

• James Franco was either high or disinterested in the entire event, despite the fact he was clearly the runner-up for Best Actor.
• Anne Hathaway's little "We're not worthy" bow to Billy Crystal was uncalled for. Crystal has never been known for being a good actor and to have an Oscar nominated actress appreciate an inferior actor as superior is ridiculous.
• Melissa Leo's F-Bomb was muted on the West Coast, despite claims from ABC that the event was "live". I'll have to do more research on if the East Coast gets a straight feed and how many seconds a delay the West Coast gets. It's really sad how it seems every live event these days is aired on a 5 second delay just because of Janet Jackson's nipple.
• Christian Bale acknowledging his Terminator: Salvation rant was hilarious and makes me love him even more. I only wish that he could have given a line like "Batman got himself an Oscar!"
• Natalie Portman's acceptance speech was allowed to go on WAY too long and she thanked far too many people, but I was glad to hear her thank the director of Leon (The Professional) for giving her-her first acting role. She's come a long way since then, but has always been extremely talented.
• My favorite acceptance speech has to be from the guy who won Best Short Film. It was short, sweet, self-deprecating, and he managed to thank the most important person.
• Nobody thanked God. THANK GOD FOR THAT LOL! I absolutely hate it when people thank God for winning a stupid award. Thank God for giving you the opportunity of life, not for your talent.
• The Academy gave Inception a sweep in the technical awards, winning Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing, Best Visual Effects, and Best Cinematography. So why wasn't Nolan nominated for Best Director again? An incredible and undeserved snub. At least the Academy recognizes Inception for being the greatest technical achievement since The Matrix.
• The auto-tuned segment was ironically funny. Almost every year since Chicago, some stupid musical gets nominated in some way and gets recognition at the Oscars (like Nine last year *shudder*). I say stupid because no musical made today will ever compare to the classics; once The Sound of Music hit, the musical reached its peak.
• The funniest segment was definitely Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law presenting the award for Best Film Editing. The punchline had fantastic build-up while acknowledging Robert Downey Jr.'s previous problems with the law, and showcasing Downey and Law's incredible chemistry together.
• Unrelated to the Oscars, but will the ads for The Dark Knight Returns now feature ads like Oscar Bait movies do? You know the type, STARRING: Academy Award Winner Christian Bale, Academy Award Nominee Anne Hathaway, Academy Award Winner Michael Caine, Academy Award Winner Morgan Freeman. It will be interesting to see what happens!

All-in-all, the show was pretty predictable and not enjoyable. I'm glad I recorded it and watched the Knicks beat the Heat instead.