In Memorium: Mike Singletary's Tenure as Head Coach of the 49ers

A great American lost his job today: "Samurai" Mike Singletary, head coach of the San Francisco 49ers. Singletary is most well known as playing for the Chicago Bears for his entire career, being a member of their legendary defense as a linebacker in the 80s, and winning Super Bowl XX in 1986. Singletary originally joined the 49ers as the Assistant Head Coach and Linebackers Coach under Mike Nolan in 2005, then later replaced Nolan after his firing in the middle of the 2008 season.

Under Singletary, the 49ers defense became well-regarded to the point that for a time, Patrick Willis was in the conversation as the next Ray Lewis. In his first full season as head coach, the 49ers managed a record of 8-8, the first time since 2002 that the 49ers have not had a losing season. After their performance that season - as well as an impressive Monday Night Football win over Kurt Warner and the Cardinals and a near victory over Brett Favre and the Vikings - hopes were high that in 2010 the 49ers could win NFC West with Kurt Warner retiring, the Seahawks continuing to age, and the Rams continuing to be the Rams. After the NFL Draft, the 49ers drafted where many felt they were most weak - on the offensive line. With new, younger, and stronger offensive linebackers, many predicted an easy ride for the 49ers to have their first winning season since 2002.

...Unfortunately, the 49ers began their season 0-5 after going 4-0 in the preseason. The 2010 49ers also share a dubious honor of being one of the few teams to lose to the Carolina Panthers. To make matters worse, Alex Smith was injured and David Carr came in 2nd string, acquired from the Miami Dolphins. Carr was a disaster and was immediately put on the practice squad following the game. 3rd string QB Troy Smith managed to win a few games and showed initial promise, but as the season went along it became clear that his play style did not gel with Singletary's plays. Compounding problems, offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye was finally fired for being a moron and needing to speak with intermediaries to communicate which plays he wanted done.

Today, the 49ers had the first half of their last chance to salvage what seemed like an impossibility at first: a shot at making the playoffs. Because of the Cardinals' predicted collapse, the Seahawks ever increasing age, and the Rams being the Rams, the 49ers actually still had a shot at making the playoffs. If they could beat the Rams and Cardinals in the last two games of the season, they would qualify for the playoffs as long as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers also beat the Seahawks.

The 49ers squandered this opportunity with terrible play calling, horrible clock management, and immature players on the offensive line. Singletary benched Troy Smith after getting into very public arguments with him on field and Alex Smith completed more passes in the only quarter he played than Troy did in the previous 3 quarters. It became clear that Troy has potential, but has a long way to go from being a starting QB. David Carr will more than likely be cut or traded by the team, and Nate Davis will move to either 2nd or 3rd string QB where he belongs. The 49ers decided to fire Singletary since the next game is meaningless. I expect Nate Davis to play and prove to everyone in the 49ers organization that he deserves the starting job.

And so ends Samurai Mike's run as head coach with a record of 18-22, a respectable record, but simply not good enough for the legendary 49ers. This summer the 49ers are expected to find a new General Manager, a new Head Coach, draft more offensive linebackers, a quarterback or two, and possibly make a trade for a QB to fill the starting role where Alex Smith has been legendary for his uselessness.

Good night, sweet Samurai prince.

Best Buy Has Lost a Customer... At Least for Their Media Section.

I once worked for Best Buy from November to January 2007-08 in their media section. As of yet, that was my favorite place of employment. Being a movies and video game expert, I greatly enjoyed giving people advice on what movies and games to buy and not buy as well as recommending hidden gems that many people would frequently overlook. However, I also learned of the many ways Best Buy, and pretty much every electronics retailer, rips people off. As an employee, I received an employee discount where I would be able to purchase items at the same price Best Buy purchased them for - essentially Best Buy makes no profit off of employee purchases, hence why they encourage moderate employee discount usage. As an example of highway robbery, and why you should always do the research beforehand, in December 2007, Best Buy sold 6 foot long Rocketfish HDMI cables for somewhere around $60. I purchased 3 of those for $4 each. If that isn't highway robbery, I don't know what is. Nevertheless, I remained a loyal Best Buy customer when it came to purchasing movies, computer hardware, and PC games because they have the best selection on all of the above outside of Fry's - the nearest of which is in Canoga Park.

Earlier this week, I had an experience that has forever changed my opinion on shopping there. Dragonball Z Kai Part Three was released last week, but I neglected to purchase it then because I actually forgot what the actual release date was. I went in on DVDuesday (a term coined by Sarah Lane, formerly of Tech TV then briefly G4), a day Best Buy generally has fresh supply of recent releases. I was disappointed that they only had the DVD version of DBZK Part 3 rather than the Blu-Ray because there is really little point in buying the DVD version of a show specifically remastered for HD viewing. I fetched for a Media employee and was disgusted at the handling of the situation.

"All Action, No Filler!" is a bit of false advertising, but DBZ Kai is unbelievably fantastic compared to the original, especially the new, far more accurate English dub.

The employee, who I purposely picked because he looked like an otaku, responded he wasn't sure if DBZ Kai Part 3 had come out yet, but I whipped out the DVD copy I had found. He was definitely surprised to see that it existed and just as curious as me as to why the Blu-Ray was not on the shelves. He looked in the system and Best Buy apparently had zero copies, but we were both even more shocked to learn that Best Buy's official website did not even list the Blu-Ray version on its website! This really pissed me off because Funimation has an exclusivity deal with Best Buy to make it the only physical store one can buy DBZ Kai from, other than online retailers Amazon.com, Rightstuff.com, and the Funimation store.

I went home and immediately jumped to Amazon where I discovered that of course they had the Blu-Ray in stock. I not only managed to get it with free 2-day shipping with some free trial Amazon was offering, but I bought it for the same price Best Buy was selling the DVD for! I ordered the Blu-Ray on Tuesday afternoon and I woke up Thursday morning to find the package at my doorstep.

Needless to say, I am never buying movies from Best Buy ever again and neither should you.

Updating My Graphics Card - Nvidia GeForce GTS 450

This behemoth is my new graphics card. The GTS 450 was released sometime around September, designed to be a mid-range performance graphics card (compared to current high-performance) that is also affordable. I got mine for about $170, incredibly cheap considering I was upgrading from a previous mid-range performance graphics, the Nvidia GeForce 8600GT. The 8600GT was basically the beta version of Nvidia's future graphics cards. Most games for PC recommend an Nvidia card 8800GT or better; Mass Effect 2 and Starcraft 2 both recommend the 8800GT or better. I purchased an HP Pavillion desktop as a Christmas present in 2008 which came preloaded with an 8600GT, then a very high caliber graphics card. The main reason for purchasing it was to improve the quality of FFXI and for future PC games. For 2 years, this graphics card has served me well, but it was time to update. Rather than simply buying a new PC, I got an Nvidia GTS 450 as the only update to my gaming PC. Although my power supply is 350 watts and the GTS 450 "requires" a 400 watt power supply, my computer hasn't blown up running Mass Effect 2, my most demanding game, on max settings.

The GTS 450 is a behemoth of a graphics card, I just needed to reiterate that. It's so big that it requires two slots on the rear of the computer for a dedicated vent! This is the first graphics card I've ever owned that is that gigantic. I've owned one in the past that an enormous fan the size of the entire PCB, but it wasn't large enough to require its own vent. The GTS 450 like every Nvidia graphics card since the 8600 is SLI compatible, meaning you can connect two graphics cards together (they must be the same model) on an SLI compatible motherboard (which I don't have). The purpose of getting two graphics cards is you need that many input slots for 3 monitors to get 3D Vision. ATI currently does not support 3D gaming, so Nvidia is making serious headway by supporting 3D gaming for the past 2 years.

I have a dual monitor setup for the first time right now, but I don't have two widescreen monitors yet. I can probably get a cheap 22" widescreen monitor to accompany my main monitor, but I really don't have a reason to have a dual monitor display other than being a total geek.

The difference between the 8600GT and GTS 450 is enormous. Just to put things into perspective, Nvidia ended their numbering at the 9800GTX and reset the numbering with the GTS/GTX series, starting with the GTS 100, so I basically jumped 14 graphics card upgrades. Mass Effect 2 was the only game I own that I was experiencing lag with, but the GTS 450 cured almost all lag issues. The only area in the entire game I've experience lag is the first area when you run through some smoke. When I was playing the PS3 demo, I also experienced lag there as well as other areas. Seeing that lag in the PS3 version, which is running Mass Effect 3's engine, made me that much more confident in my ability to run Mass Effect 3 when it comes out. Bioware previously said that if your computer could run Mass Effect, you could also run Mass Effect 2, but what many forgot to take into account is that the PC version of Mass Effect does not go up to 1920x1080. If you play Mass Effect 2 with the max settings from the original, then of course it will run, derp. Mass Effect 3 is a year away, but hopefully I will not need to update my rig anytime soon.

Also of note, I re-ran the Final Fantasy XIV benchmark. On the 8600GT on default settings, my computer was not good enough to run FFXIV. With the GTS 450 my score jumped from sub-500 to 3200, more than well enough to run the game in higher settings than the default. I am strongly considering getting Final Fantasy XIV for the sole reason that I can run the game and it is currently free to play.

I've debated upgrading my RAM from 4GB to 8GB, but I have yet to find a game that has recommended settings above 2GB.

Mass Effect 2 - PS3 Demo

Earlier today, Sony provided a Christmas present to PS3 owners, demos of Mass Effect 2 and Little Big Planet 2. The PS3 version of Mass Effect 2 has been hotly anticipated since its announcement only a few months ago, it being the first time PS3 owners will be able to experience the world of Mass Effect. Mass Effect 2 for PS3 will also have a downloadable interactive comic that will affect your ME2 save files, affecting 6 key decisions from Mass Effect, including which teammate dies on Virmire, if Shepard romanced a team member, and whether or not Wrex survived. The remaining 3 decisions are most likely whether Shepard saved the council or let them die, whether Shepard killed the last Rachni, and whether Shepard followed the Paragon or Renegade paths. The main reason for the interactive comic, besides the lack of a PS3 release for the original game, is the original was published by Microsoft Game Studios and will more than likely never see a release on the PS3. Because of the extreme delay in bringing Mass Effect 2 to the PS3, the PS3 version will also include the following DLC packs pre-included: Kasumi - Stolen Memory, Overlord, and Lair of the Shadow Broker. The Blood Dragon armor previously only accessible for pre-ordering Dragon Age: Origins will be be pre-included since Dragon Age did not see a PS3 release. A Cerberus Network activation code will also, of course, be included, which will also include the DLC for Zaeed's mission line, the M-44 Hammerhead, and "extra weapons," probably referring to the now infamous Eviscerator shotgun that makes Vanguard a force to be reckoned with even before acquiring the Scimitar or Katana shotguns.

A special treat is also in store for people who purchase the PS3 version. ME2 on PS3 will run on a beta version of the Mass Effect 3 engine. I've played the demo already and the game is very close to the graphics and performance of the PC version, but nowhere near dethroning it. A completely affordable gaming PC can run Mass Effect 2 just fine. I have Windows 7 64-bit, an Intel Core 2 Quad CPU running at 2.66 GHz, 4 GB of RAM, and an Nvidia GeForce GTS 450 graphics card. Other than the graphics card, the computer will be more or less standard fare in 2011 for a PC. Of course if you don't want a gaming PC and already own a PS3, Mass Effect 2 is a MUST. I won't be purchasing it for PS3 since I already have 1 and 2 on my PC, but if I hadn't ever owned an Xbox 360 and experienced Mass Effect for myself, I would definitely be lining up in January to get it on PS3.

The PS3 demo includes the opening sequence consisting of the destruction of the Normandy SR1 and playing through the Lazarus Facility, then skips ahead to Omega where you do the mission to recruit Mordin. Gameplay is similar to the Xbox 360 with its obvious lack of buttons compared to a keyboard. Assigning powers to shortcuts was a giant step that needed to be made since constantly pausing the game just to use Pull on an enemy got tedious after a while when I played the 360 version of Mass Effect. Teammate powers are much easier to assign compared to the PC version, but having only 3 buttons to assign Shepard's powers is severely lacking compared to the PC version's 8 slots.

Here's to hoping PS3 gamers heed the call and get Mass Effect 2!

Tomb Raider: Anniversary

This review is about the Wii version. The Xbox 360 and Wii versions has their own exclusive features and the PS2 & PC versions are the most bare-bones versions. The main reasons I'm reviewing the Wii version is the improved visuals over the PS2, lack of an Xbox 360, and the fact I could not find the PS2 or PC versions.

 In 2007, Tomb Raider celebrated its 10th anniversary. Before the impending release of Tomb Raider: Underworld (which Eidos rushed Crystal Dynamics as quickly as possible), Crystal Dynamics decided to make not just a remake of the original Tomb Raider, but a re-imaging taking the best of the old while combining the new engine of Tomb Raider: Legend. Other changes besides gameplay included removing boss fights against humans and turning them into cut-scenes, changing various puzzles to make Tomb Raider: Anniversary for challenging even for those who had completed the original game multiple times, and retconning the story to fit in line with Tomb Raider: Legend and its retcon of Lara's background.

The Wii version of Tomb Raider: Anniversary features (for the first time) a free aim system utilizing the Wii remote's pointer and replacing the target lock-on with a camera lock-on, allowing the ability to lock-on to one enemy while shooting the other, similar to Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. Another feature is new secrets involving making rubbings of Incan hieroglyphs as well as puzzle solutions involving rubbings. The game suffers a bit from gimmicky controls here and there, requiring you to raise and lower your hands to pull switches, shaking the nunchuk back and forth to move across cliffs faster, and throwing the nunchuk down to fire your grappling hook (which can be aimed for the first time). There are some double inputs as well, such as being able to press Down or B to drop down cliffs and either shaking the nunchuk or pressing Down to roll. What made me upset is that Tomb Raider: Anniversary does not feature more than one control scheme (at least for the Wii version), something that Tomb Raider: Legend featured.

Story: 10/10
Gameplay: 7/10
Presentation: 9/10
Replay Value: 9/10

Average Score: 8.8/10


Tomb Raider: Anniversary succeeds in taking the best of the early Tomb Raider games and combining with Crystal Dynamics' new direction for Lara Croft. The story has better pacing and makes far more sense with the retcons and sets up the events of Tomb Raider: Underworld incredibly well. Audiovisually, the game is fantastic. Although I would have preferred to play this game on a console that supports 5.1 surround sound, it doesn't really matter since the original game was designed for plain old stereo sound. There is some incentive to play again after beating the game as there are various pieces of artwork and audio commentaries that go deep into the process of re-imagining Tomb Raider, as well as collecting costumes from each Tomb Raider game up to Legend and even the ability to play as PS1 Lara. The controls have a bit of a steep learning curve. The camera is controlled by holding the C button and moving the pointer to the edge of the screen. It's possible to move the camera, camera lock-on to a target, and fire away, but it can be incredibly difficult. The amount of gimmicky controls for the Wii version is disappointing, especially with how frequently they come up.

Nevertheless, Tomb Raider Anniversary carries forward and Crystal Dynamics again did a fantastic job with their trilogy of games. It's going to be very hard waiting for their next Tomb Raider game, the reboot, in November 2011.

Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light

Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light before release was an incredibly controversial game for multiple reasons. It was the first Tomb Raider game to be published by Square Enix, which had purchased Eidos, the game would not be titled "Tomb Raider", and there would be a heavy emphasis on co-op gameplay. At first, many thought that all these factors would lead to a complete detraction from what made the Tomb Raider series. All doubts were taken care of when Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light was made available for download from Xbox Live and PlayStation Network.

The game has a rather simple premise compared to the last two original games, Tomb Raider: Legend and Tomb Raider: Underworld. Lara is on the hunt for an ancient pre-Colombian artifact, the Mirror of Smoke, which is said to contain the spirit of Xolotl. Lara easily finds the Mirror of Smoke before the game starts, although it turns out she was not the only one searching for it and is captured by a local warlord named Vasco who uses Lara's skills and knowledge to get the mirror for himself. Vasco accidentally unleashes Xolotl's spirit from the mirror and a nearby statue comes to life, taking the form of Totec, the titular guardian of light, who opposes Xolotl. Totec has revived to return Xolotl's spirit to the Mirror of Smoke and immediately darts off in search of both Xolotl and Vasco. He finds quickly that he needs Lara's help and depending on whether you play the single or multiplayer modes, Lara either teams up with Totec or they split ways to search for Xolotl and Vasco individually, although the team-up story is the canon story.

The Guardian of Light is split into various levels, much like a pre-PS1 era action/adventure game. You can replay levels as soon as you clear them and go back to collect treasures, get a better score, and complete level unique rewards. Because of the ease of being able to jump into a level and completing a level for the first time in about a half hour, there is a lot of incentive to go back and perfect your performance in a level.

Story: 8/10
Gameplay: 10/10
Presentation: 9.5/10
Replay Value: 10/10

Average Score: 9.4/10

Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light is without a doubt, the best Tomb Raider game made in years. One could wonder what it would have been like if this were made into a full-length game in the more traditional style, but the nature of the plot and style of play fits this spin-off better. The game uses the exact same engine as Tomb Raider: Underworld, but the nagging issues of the clipping planes and collision detection are completely gone. The graphics are also much better and Lara looks better than ever (other than the pictures from Game Informer). Square says that if Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light is successful (which it is), we can expect more from this spinoff series. I, for one, am definitely looking forward to the next one. You can download Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light from Xbox Live or PlayStation Network for about $15. It's worth every penny!

3 Trailers for the Most Anticipated Games of 2011

Uncharted. Mass Effect. Batman: Arkham Asylum. Each of these games has achieved so much success that two have even better reviewed and performing sequels and all will get a sequel to be released in Q4 2011. Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception, Mass Effect 3, and Batman: Arkham Cityall had full length trailers revealed at the 2010 Spike TV VGAs and I cannot possibly be more excited for 2011, what will probably be the greatest year in gaming to date. 

Uncharted 3's trailer surprisingly featured an FMV, incredibly rare for non-Japanese games these days, and gameplay footage. The biggest surprise came at the end, the reveal of the release date, November 1, 2011. As revealed previously by Naughty Dog, Uncharted 3 will have 3D support, so if you have a PS3, now is the time to go get a 3D-supported TV.

Batman: Arkham City also debuted with an FMV with unbelievably impressive visuals from Batman and if rumors are to be believed, we may get the first definitive canonical depiction of Bruce Wayne since Jim Lee's images in the storyline Hush. Arkham City is still being developed by Rocksteady, but Eidos (now Square Enix Europe) will not be publishing it, instead Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment will be financing. Batman: Arkham City will be released in November 2011, just like Uncharted 3.

Mass Effect 3's trailer was shorter than the others, but direct and to the point. An Englishman soldier is narrating while shooting at what appear to be humans and telling that Earth is under attack and Shepard needs to be there before it is too late. The camera pans out and London is under attack by at least 3 Reapers while Shepard is seen inside a ship, presumably the Normandy SR2, seeing a view of Earth from afar. The human soldier seen may share something with the first trailer for Mass Effect 2 and could be the first new squad member shown already, just as Legion was shown in the first trailer for Mass Effect 2. Mass Effect 3 will be released in Fall 2011, no month has been set yet.

Tomb Raider is already confirmed to be released in November 2011. If Mass Effect 3 also comes out in November, we could be looking forward to the single most profitable month in the history of video games. the Nintendo 3DS also comes out next year, so now is the time to start saving up for what will be 4 incredible games and the most hyped handheld system since the Game Boy Advance.

You can see the trailers for the Big Three at Gametrailers.com.

Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception

This is one of the first images we have for Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception, which will feature a trailer at the Spike TV Video Game Awards Saturday, December 11 (later today!) Many details have been revealed, most notably the premise. Drake and Sully are on the hunt for an ancient lost city in the Arabian Peninsula, following the adventures of T.E. Lawrence, a figure most well known for the movie Lawrence of Arabia, the true life-story of the Briton ally to Arabian freedom fighters. A teaser trailer has been released which features tons of references to T.E. Lawrence's life and the actual book he wrote detailing his journeys. This news is unbelievably exciting because not only are we getting a new Uncharted much sooner than any of us had hoped for, but one grounded in reality, unlike the discovery of El Dorado, the Golden Man, and Shambala up high in the Himalayas. The lost city that Drake is hunting for is something people to this day are hunting for and it will be very exciting to see how Naughty Dog can come up with a "solution".

One new feature to gameplay has already been revealed, the ability to fight multiple enemies at once in melee combat. More features will be revealed later today at the Spike VGAs! Coupled with this announcement, the Arkham City trailer to be shown, and rumors of Mass Effect 3 being revealed, this will be the first time I watch the VGAs for more than one trailer. This doesn't legitimize the show, but it sure as hell makes it more watchable, especially with NPH hosting.

Tomb Raider: Underworld

Tomb Raider: Underworld is the direct sequel to Tomb Raider: Legend and is the first Tomb Raider game on the current generation of consoles. Underworld takes place a few months after the end of Legend and also features a very important returning character from the very first game (or Anniversary, whichever you prefer). Underworld's story basically could not have occurred unless the story of the original was fresh in gamers' minds, thus the reason for Anniversary being made. As the first Tomb Raider on the current generation, it features updated visuals, but unlike Legend, it is not on par with the graphics of other games, notably Uncharted, the new competitor to the Tomb Raider series. Although the scenery does feature fantastic visuals, they don't compare at all to Uncharted 2. The gameplay is very similar to Legend with a few minor tweaks on button placement, removing the R.A.D. mode from the binoculars, and expanding on the climbing and gymnastic mechanics. The weapons are much easier to use, no longer requiring picking up enemy weaponry and ammo throughout levels. Lara now begins each level with all her weapons and will eventually run out of ammo on each weapon until she is limited to using her pistols. A new feature to make you use her pistols is the ability to aim at two targets at once for the first time in Tomb Raider. A feature I wish had been included is firing each pistol separately, but maybe a future game will have this feature as Tomb Raider (2011) will not feature Lara's signature dual pistols.

One of the main complaints of Legend was how short the game was and how little incentive there was to play it again despite the game being above average. Underworld's levels have far more thought put into them and they are long. The length of the first level was easily as long as the first two levels of Legend and then some. You'll want to replay Underworld just to experience every level all over again (except maybe one, but I'll get to that later).

Story: 10/10
Gameplay: 9.5/10
Presentation: 6/10
Replay Value: 8.5/10

Average Score: 8.5/10

Underworld is an improvement on every level over Legend with the exception of one notable area: the clipping plane and collision detection. I shit you not, when I was doing a puzzle involving jumping from wall to wall, I managed to actually jump through the wall and fall to my doom inside a giant area of purple space. The collision detection is awful when trying to jump onto platforms, which is a real problem since you have to do it so frequently. Underworld is also the 2nd game I've ever played that managed to get my PS3 to freeze, the first being Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. This wasn't much of a problem since both games save automatically periodically. My biggest problem with Underworld's graphics, however, is not the clipping issues, but the entire Southern Mexico level. It's raining the entire time you're there and the frame rate (at least on the PS3 version) is horrendous. I'm not sure if this is limited to the PS3 version, but I took a look at comparison images between versions and the PS3 actually has better visuals than the 360, so it must have something to do with designing the game for the PC and porting it to the PS3, a known issue with other games like The Orange Box.

During the development of Underworld, Crystal Dynamics was already making plans for the next Tomb Raider, making minor improvements to Underworld's engine, especially after receiving mostly positive reviews. However, once the sales figures came in, it became clear that gamers were tired of Tomb Raider and moving on to the Uncharted series which has better writing, better graphics, better gameplay, and better replay value.

And thus, we have the reason for this:

Seriously, Game Informer's images and story got me so interested in Tomb Raider again, I can't wait for the new game to come out approx. November 2011.

Tomb Raider: Legend

Tomb Raider: Legend was the game that saved the Tomb Raider franchise. Tomb Raider: Chronicles and Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness were so poorly received that Eidos gave the franchise control to a different developer, Crystal Dynamics. Crystal Dynamics preserved many classic features from the previous games, but added new gameplay functions, including much more acrobatic maneuvers. There were updated visuals as well, taking Lara into the PS2 generation with graphics more on par with other PS2 games while maintaining the cartoonish look of the previous games.

Tomb Raider: Legend is important for another reason: it retcons Lara's family history to make her into a countess involved in a plane crash in the Himalayas when she was a young girl that she survived along with her mother, but her mother lost her life in a mysterious incident involving an ancient relic. At age 18, her father died and left her his entire fortune, allowing Lara to pursue her love of archaeology with nearly limitless resources.

Story: 9.5/10
Gameplay: 8.5/10
Presentation: 8.5/10
Replay Value: 6/10

Average Score: 8.1/10


Tomb Raider: Legend isn't the greatest game in the world and features poor replay value, limited to unlocking more outfits for Lara to wear, but it was a gigantic step in the right direction. The story is excellent, tying together Lara's retconned history to an ancient artifact of immense power split into various pieces throughout the world. The lock-on system of gunplay works, but it would be have nice if Legend had moved to a more traditional style of free-aiming. The graphics are on par with other PS2-era games, but features a cartoonish style trademark to the Tomb Raider series (at least until the new game comes out next year). Tomb Raider: Legend should be easy enough to find at your local Gamestop, so pick it up and try it out, you just might find yourself falling in love with Lara all over again.

Stay tuned for my reviews of Tomb Raider: Anniversary and Tomb Raider: Underworld once I finish each game!

Tomb Raider: The New Lara Croft

That is the new design for Lara Croft. Definitely a much younger Lara, she's also missing her previously cartoon-ish look in favor a far more realistic appearance. In her last game, Tomb Raider: Underworld, Lara looked like this:

The basics are still there, she still has huge lips and a tiny nose and her breast size has been preserved from the Alison Carroll model used in Underworld, the first current-gen Tomb Raider game. Less than two years ago, Eidos, the company behind Tomb Raider, was in serious financial troubles and was purchased by the most unlikely of video game companies, Square Enix, the creators of Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, and Dragon Quest. There were a few jokes that Lara Croft would have her design changed to include as many belts and zippers as possible, but all worries were put to rest when SE decided not to let go any staff from Eidos and change their company name to Square Enix Europe, basically just a renamed version of Eidos.

The new Tomb Raider, which has yet to receive a title other than Tomb Raider, will be a reboot of the entire series. This is a bit of a shock since Tomb Raider: Legend retconned Lara's family history while preserving the events of the first 5 Tomb Raider games. The gameplay will also feature a few changes, differentiating Tomb Raider from the Uncharted series, two games that took the Tomb Raider formula and made it better with impressive visuals, better stories, and better acting. Tomb Raider will be the 2nd Tomb Raider game made under Square Enix, the first being Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light, a spin-off game made in a different style from the previous games. The game was extremely well-received and many reviewers said the likes of "if this is what Square's funding can give Crystal Dynamics, sign us up for more." Lara's new design is obviously heavily funded by Square Enix's budget, which was able to give us the outstanding visuals of Final Fantasy XIII.

One of the biggest gameplay changes is that Tomb Raider will feature a system in which Lara has to hunt for food and medicine to stay alive, very similar to Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. If the new Tomb Raider has as good a system as Snake Eater had, the new Tomb Raider is a day 1 purchase for me.

I decided to look into the last 3 Tomb Raider games and was surprised to see they actually got pretty good reviews, but poor sales due to the stigma of the last 3 PS1 era games. I'm playing Tomb Raider: Legend right now and wow, it's definitely a lot better than those last Tomb Raider games I played way back in middle school. So, here's to hoping Lara Croft gets a successful reboot when Tomb Raider (tentative title) gets released in 2011.

Playboy TV

I haven't been up to much this last month, just enjoying games I haven't finished yet (notably GTA4, I still haven't finished the Complete Edition) and enjoying Playboy TV! Playboy TV is one of the greatest channels on television and you get more "bang" for your buck than you would from getting a subscription to HBO/Cinemax or Showtime. Playboy TV isn't just a TV version of the magazine like it used to be back in the 90s. Since then, Playboy bought the Spice Channel and now broadcasts hardcore porn movies at night. Night Calls is being phased out due to the phone sex phenomena dying out in favor of sexting and is being replaced by shows like Totally Busted, a Candid Camera clone with naked porn stars, Foursome, a "reality" show taking two girls and two guys and giving them lots of sex toys and booze and seeing what goes, and of course, the continuing of Naughty Amateur Home Videos, formerly the only show on Playboy TV that showed both penises and both oral and vaginal penetration.

There's a few new shows that are regular length TV shows that are basically nothing but hardcore porn, Bang U, Hardcore Partying, and Dropout Delinquents. This trend in Playboy TV becoming more of a porno channel clearly has to do with garnering more subscribers and the people behind the channel know exactly why readership of the magazine is down. In case that wasn't enough for you, you also get Playboy TV en Español which is a lot more like Playboy TV 10 years ago (and strangely enough mostly in English event though it's broadcast as being in Spanish), but still broadcasts hardcore porn and some of the porn shows late at night. Usually the two Playboy channels broadcast their movies at the same time so if you don't like one movie you can change the channel and "watch" the other one.

My biggest problem with Playboy TV though is how infrequently new episodes come. Once. per. week. Of every show. I've seen the same tits, the same pussies. the same cocks for all of a week waiting for new fucking episodes of these shows which I will supposedly get tomorrow. But hey, I can't complain, I'm watching hardcore porn on my 42" TV.

DC Showcase Original Shorts Collection

DC Showcase Original Shorts Collection is the latest of the DC Universe Animated Original Movies, many guessing released because of the long wait between Superman/Batman: Apocalypse and All-Star Superman. The shorts collection features every animated short made thus far, The Spectre, Jonah Hex, and Green Arrow, as well as a new short advertised on the box art, Superman/Shazam! The Return of Black Adam. I haven't reviewed the shorts in the past, other than Green Arrow getting my seal of recommendation. Each short will get a short (ha) review and it's own rating out of 5.

Superman/Shazam! serves as an origin story for Captain Marvel, often confused for being a superhero named Shazam because of licensing issues DC Comics has with Marvel Comics. Marvel has their own superhero named Captain Marvel, created both before the name change to Marvel Comics and the creation of Fawcett Comics' Captain Marvel. The origin story is summed up in 22 minutes while Superman is along for the ride mostly to keep the action going while Billy Batson is powerless and to exploit his weakness to magic so that Captain Marvel is shown as being Superman's physical equal, only to be outdone by Superman's maturity and extraneous superpowers.

George Newbern and Jerry O'Connell reprise their roles as Supes and Capt. Marvel from Justice League Unlimited. Newbern sounds as great as ever, but at this point it's almost impossible to distance him from Sephiroth, a voice he has been very careful to make sound like an evil version of his Superman voice. Superman sounds almost menacing at times, but that's really based on hearing new dialogue from him as Superman for the first time in 4 years and mostly hearing him as Sephiroth for those past 4 years. O'Connell sounds great as Captain Marvel again, but the voice actors who steal the show are Zach Callison as Billy Batson and James Garner as Shazam. Callison has a bright future ahead of him if he chooses to pursue voice acting and Garner does a great job transitioning to voice acting.

Final Score: 5 SHAZAMS! out of 5
The longer than usual run-time serves the story fantastically, the voice acting is stellar, and the animation kicks ass as usual. I just wish Superman wasn't there just to have more action going on throughout.


The Spectre is about a superhero who is so obscure, most people don't know Jerry Siegel, the co-creator of Superman, created him only 2 years after he and Joe Shuster created the Man of Steel. The Spectre is Jim Corrigan, a murdered police detective who is refused entry to the afterlife and becomes an avenging, undead figure who takes the lives of those who have taken the lives of others. The short stars Gary Cole as The Spectre, who does a fantastic job given the style of the short, a 70s detective story. He also changes his voice to a more serious tone as the Spectre.

Final Score: 5 Ghost Cars out of 5
Cheesy dialogue, film grain, Gary Cole, it all sounds like the making of a really bad B-movie, but the story is so excellent that even in good fun it's a solid movie. I only wish it were 22 minutes like the Captain Marvel story.


Jonah Hex is about a cowboy bounty hunter with a facial injury who lives by his own morals, but fights for justice. He also had an infamously bad movie this past summer starring Josh Brolin and Megan Fox which should in no way stop you from enjoying this story. Jonah Hex seems to just not work at all in live action and should be restricted to comics and animation. Hex is voice by Thomas Jane, the runner-up for the live action role of Jonah Hex in a better performance than the one done by the DCAU voice actor. Linda Hamilton voices the antagonist of the story, a prostitute who kills Johns for their money and hides their bodies afterwards.

Final Score: 4 Unsettling Scarred Mouths out of 5
Although the story is pretty bland, the action, voice acting, and music is fantastic. Just sit and enjoy the ride.


Green Arrow is about a superhero who is similar to Batman in many ways, but different enough to be considered a very different superhero. While Oliver Queen is a billionaire playboy who uses different gadgets as the Green Arrow and a young sidekick, he is known for sporting a blond beard, being an environmental activist, not having a depressing origin story, and having a stable relationship with Dinah Lance, the Black Canary. The short is a rather simple story about the attempted assassination of a young crown princess from a fictional country, but it mostly serves as a story to showcase (ha, another pun) Green Arrow's MO. The end features him getting rescued by Black Canary and he proposes to her.

Final Score: 3 Canary Cries out of 5
It's pretty sub-par for a Bruce Timm production, but not nearly as bad as Wonder Woman was. Neil McDonough was probably the worst choice for Green Arrow I could ever think of, Malcom McDowell gets less than a minute of dialogue, and Steve Blum is relegated to voicing incidental characters. The story is bland and overdone, and the action is incredibly sub-par. This doesn't mean Green Arrow is bad by any means, it's just not as good compared to the other shorts.

Final Final Score: 4 Bruce Timm Commentaries out of 5?
I couldn't think of a better measurement other than the 4 commentaries by Bruce Timm, done for each and every animated short. Despite the shorts having differing qualities, Bruce Timm's commentaries are always entertaining to listen to and well worth getting the collection. Also included are episodes from the DCAU featuring each superhero from the showcases with the exception of the Spectre who was not animated until Batman: The Brave and the Bold (which is featured). It's worth getting just for the Captain Marvel short and the Bruce Timm commentaries, but it's hard to justify the price for the blu-ray version, other than the sound is unbelievable in the Captain Marvel special.

My Thoughts on the First Trailer for Green Lantern

For starters, here's the trailer.

I am so glad the Green Lantern outfit doesn't look like that godawful costume on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. I'm rather surprised they chose to go with a bright green rather than what seems to be the norm these days in making superhero colors much darker thanks to the success of Batman. Hal Jordan's character is much more party than he was in his original appearances, but that's a good thing given how a lot of comic book fans view Jordan as the most boring of the Earth Green Lanterns. There are reports that John Stewart (the black Green Lantern, not The Daily Show host) will make a cameo at some point during the movie, hopefully setting up the introduction of Guy Gardner as well. The comical visual effect of a giant green punch attacking some thugs is exactly what I wanted out of this movie, nothing like what Justice League did to John Stewart.

There were some negatives, though. I've never been a fan of Blake Lively and I'm even less a fan of her being Carol Ferris. If she is to ever become Star Sapphire, I'm going to declare the future franchise dead. Some of the visual effect characters are fantastic looking, like Kilowog and Abin-Sur, while others like Sinestro looks like crap. Yes, the movie is still far from release, but hopefully the studio will listen to fans and increase the budget for the CG effects. Hal Jordan's domino mask is... well I'm still not a fan of the shape, it's alright.

Everything is progressing well and hopefully we will see a superhero battle of epic proportions as Thor and Green Lantern are released around the same time.

Grand Theft Auto IV: The Complete Edition

A few years back, I did a very foolish thing. I bought GTA4 for my Xbox 360 instead of for my PS3. Once I played it, did I realize the game was originally programmed for the PS3 and then later ported to the 360. While it's definitely one of the best looking 360 games because of that (alongside FFXIII), it also suffers from a problem that FFXIII would later suffer: unbelievable lag in high activity areas. Unfortunately for the 360, GTA4 has unbelievably high draw distance and cannot maintain constant, lag-free motion. I still thought the game had a fantastic story, better than GTA3 or Vice City, but not as good as San Andreas, but the lag was just unbearable. Once I made the decision to sell my 360, I made it based on every game I owned I could either get on PS3 or PC, or there were games I never thought I would play again, such as GTA4. If only I had gotten the PS3 version originally...

Some fans were a bit disappointed to see how GTA4 only covered one city, even though the in-game map was actually larger than San Andreas'. To quell some of the nitpicking by fans, such as lack of clothing options and extravagant missions, they planned two episodes of Downloadable Content, Lost & Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony. L&D was very well-received, but there a few complaints about the rather high price of $15 for only a few hours of content to a pre-existing game. TBoGT was even better received, but again, the price was far too high given the amount of content at $20. Microsoft was given these two DLC packs months earlier than the PS3 version as a deal made by Rockstar to give the 360 version something the PS3 version did not. Eventually, a stand-alone disc titled Episode From Liberty City was released for 360 and PS3, allowing gamers to play the DLC packs without owning GTA4 or having a hard copy to take to friends' houses. Finally, the definitive version of GTA4 was released, Grand Theft Auto 4: The Complete Edition. Touting both GTA4 and Episode From Liberty City, it was basically packaged as a cash-in for people who had either still not gotten GTA4 or had traded in GTA4 and chose not to buy the DLC packages.

In my case, this was the first time I had ever played the PS3 version and holy hell I am kicking myself for having bought the 360 version instead of the PS3 version. I've only encountered one instance of lag, in the middle of rush hour at The Triangle, the Times Square equivalent, but that was to be expected. Lost & Damned is great from what I've played so far, a pretty cool expansion of the GTA4 universe. The Ballad of Gay Tony is also great, too and it has incentives to re-do missions and aim for the best performance possible with scores given after completing missions. The price for the this whole package was very well worth it.

My only complaints are that in order to switch from either L&D or BoGT to GTA4, you need to quit and restart the entire game and after playing one of the DLC episodes, there is a glitch upon auto-loading a GTA4 save file that requires you to start a new game and then manually load the save file. Other than that, everything is fantastic and the story is actually better once you know what will happen next, something the other GTA games were not able to do.

If for some reason, you don't have GTA4, go get the Complete Edition, you won't regret it.

The Big Update

Holy shit it's been a long time since I've been able to make a decent post about my world! I finally have my computer here and I can get back to rolling off blog updates almost every day now!

Baseball

First off, we have to begin with the biggest news of them all, the San Francisco Giants won the World Series! Even now, it is very hard for me to sink in how... well, to put it frankly, how easy it was. The toughest challenge along the way ended up being the Phillies who didn't put up much of a fight. While Roy Halladay was touted around ESPN and Fox as being this God of Pitching, the Giants easily dismantled him. Most people were shocked to see that not only was the Giants pitching staff the best starters and bullpen in the entire league, but that their hitters were damn good too. The Texas Rangers, to this date, are only known for two things: being owned by George W. Bush before he became the governor of Texas and for foolishly trading away Alex Rodriguez to the Yankees.

A bit of back-story on how/why the Rangers even contended in the playoffs. After the 2009 World Series when the Yankees defeated the Phillies, the Phillies decided to make what was heralded by ESPN as the highest profile trade in baseball since Babe Ruth was traded to the Yankees. The Phillies traded away their ace pitcher, Cliff Lee, to the Seattle Mariners in exchange for their ace, Roy Halladay. Note that at this point in Lee's postseason career, he was undefeated and Halladay had never been to the playoffs. In mid-season, the Mariners did an incredibly stupid thing and traded Lee to the Texas Rangers in exchange for junk players because Lee had an expiring contract and the Mariners did not want to pursue re-signing him. With Lee as the new ace of the Rangers and some mid-season trades for power hitting, Nolan Ryan assembled the best hitting team in baseball alongside one of the top 5 starting pitchers. Once reaching the playoffs, the Rangers did the unthinkable and finally won a game in Dallas for the first time in the 50+ year old team's history. Shocking the media even more, the Rangers defeated the defending champion New York Yankees.

And then these guys came along. I guess even Japan feels Giants fever!

In Game 1, the Giants served Cliff Lee his first career postseason defeat. In Game 2, Matt Cain pitched a shutout while the Rangers bullpen collapsed after C.J. Wilson exited the game with a blister on his finger. During that Game 2, a pitcher who shall forever be known as str8edgeracer (his twitter account), pitched 11 balls in a row. Then he finally pitched a strike. Oh, but then he threw a 12th ball and walked his third man up at bat with 2 outs. The Giants absolutely obliterated the Rangers bullpen and the Rangers fans started getting worried as the World Series was headed to Dallas for the first time. In Game 3, Jonathan Sanchez couldn't quite pull it off and the Rangers won 4-2. In Game 4, Madison Bumgarner served the Rangers their 2nd shutout and became the youngest pitcher in history to pitch more than 6 scoreless innings. In the epic climax of Game 5, Tim Lincecum, reigning two-time NL Cy Young winner, tied the record for most strikeouts in a World Series clinching game at 10 strikeouts and Edgar Renteria joined some big names by delivering the series clinching RBI, the 2nd time he has done so in the World Series, joining the names of Yogi Berra, Joe DiMaggio, and Lou Gehrig.

Basketball

The Miami Heat continue to have inexplicable supporters in the sports media... or so they did until they blew a 22 point lead against the Utah Jazz and trailed the entire game against the Boston Celtics. Most people have found the very obvious flaws in the Miami Heat's "super team," most notably three of them: 1) An elite point guard like Rajon Rondo, Deron Williams, or Chris Paul is capable of scoring easily on the Heat by driving to the basket. 2) They have a serious lack of length at the 4 and 5 positions coupled with Chris Bosh vastly under-performing. 3) The Heat bench cannot gel together whatsoever and in order for the Heat to get in any kind of rhythm, one of the "Big Three" must be on the court.

Paul Millsap was the kryptonite for the Heat, scoring 46 points and making 3/3 3-pointers.

The Lakers have been playing almost effortlessly in the first 9 games of the season, managing to get a record of 8-1, losing their first game against the Denver Nuggets by 6 points in a game that Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom had poor shooting nights. If they didn't declare their alliance before the season, most people are now giving the Lakers a guaranteed 4th consecutive trip to the NBA Finals.
The biggest surprise, however, has been the New Orleans Hornets beginning their season at 7-0. While there have been some rumors of a Chris Paul trade, the Hornets haven't let it stop them and they're doing all they can to start and hopefully end strong. It was quite unfortunate to see their season crumble last year with Chris Paul's injury, but I'm glad now they have returned to form and give the Lakers a good challenge in the playoffs!

Comics

The big event is finally over! Bruce Wayne is finally in the present and has once again donned the cape and cowl. In order to return to the present, Wayne had to have his memories tampered with so Darkseid's Omega Effect could not affect him to the original effect. In order for him to regain his memories... well I'll leave that detail hanging until my review of The Return of Bruce Wayne #5-6. In the world of Supergirl, she managed to defeat the threat to Bizarro World in an unexpectedly long story arc that was actually very well written and speaks to who exactly Supergirl is. Expect reviews for all these comics in the near future.

Video Games

So, the Playstation Move and Kinect are on store shelves now... Not sure what to make of that other than the Wii is still going to be the number one seller at Christmas time. I recently downloaded a bunch of sports games demos, so I guess I can give my 2 cents on those.
NBA 2K11: Like the previous NBA 2K games, 2K11 is too fucking complicated to pick up and play. While incredibly realistic, it's also impossible to enjoy unless you put in hours of practice to learn how to play.
MLB The Show 10: I downloaded this mostly to see how it plays in 3D and it's not a very good 3D effect in place. What makes things worse is that the pitching is impossible to pull off and I couldn't figure out how to swing. Allegedly, the "swing" button is either square or cross, but neither fucking worked.
MLB 2K10: After playing The Show, I had to check out and see if MLB 2K was any better. It was miles better than The Show. The pitching was a bit tricky to figure it out at first, but after walking 2 guys, it was became easy to get consistent strikes. While difficult to hit consistently, I eventually learned to not swing at everything that came my way (like in real life!) and managed to get a single! One problem I encountered was playing in the outfield could use some improvement. When the MLB 2K11 demo hits in a few months, I'll have to give it a try and see if the outfield play is improved at all.
Madden NFL 11: Madden NFL 10 didn't impress me whatsoever. After Madden 11 promised to make things quicker, simpler, and deeper, I had to be a little curious to see how they could finally make a football game easy to play without miles long pages of playbooks. Well, Madden 11 managed to do it. Playing QB is easier than it's ever been, rushing is realistic, kicking field goals and punting takes into account several factors, and playing defense is incredibly rewarding. I am extremely tempted to go out and buy this game because it's actually a very good video game, not just a good sports game.

Movies

Basically the only update here is that I saw Jackass 3D (loved it) and I bought the Back to the Future trilogy on blu-ray. Hopefully, Jackass 3D will finally kill the 3D genre forever and push movie makers to return to making movies without resorting to advertising OOH SHINY 3D LOOK!

Well, that's what things have happened in a nutshell. Updates to come in the coming days!

Super "Official" Date For Movie Reviews

OK, there's been more delays to my movie reviews and it's all thanks to the Giants being in the World Series and my moving back in with my parents. As soon as my computer is moved in I'll get back to my regular posting.

"Biggest Opening Night in NBA History" Hot For Lakers and Celtics, Ice Cold For the Heat

The Lakers ring ceremony and banner raising was incredibly well done, showcasing not just a repeat championship team, but a large group of family and friends acknowledging each others' talents.

Today, the 2010-11 NBA season kicked off with 3 games, the Miami Heat @ Boston Celtics, the Phoenix Suns @ Portland Trailblazers, and the Houston Rockets @ Los Angeles Lakers. Last season if someone told you that the Celtics would beat the Heat or Lebron's team, the Trailblazers would beat the Suns at home, and the Lakers would beat the Rockets, would you have been surprised? Of course not, and that's exactly what happened in the season opener. Erik Spoelstra utterly lacked the qualities to be a head coach (unchanged), Lebron James had to bail out his team to not be completely embarrassed by a clearly superior team (unchanged), the Trailblazers dominated at home (unchanged), the Suns lacked defense (unchanged), the Rockets relied far too heavily on their smaller players to score (unchanged), and the Lakers won a game in dramatic fashion thanks to a play by a non-black player (unchanged). Sure, names have changed across all 6 teams (less so on the Trailblazers), but on the first day it quickly became apparent that nothing has changed.

The Boston Celtics made 2 notable moves in the off-season, signing the two O'Neals (unrelated), Jermaine and Shaquille. While questionable how helpful either would be, Jermaine demonstrated that when he isn't being a hothead he can still be a quality bench player, while Shaq showed that age may be making him run slower, but he is still 7'1" and over 300 pounds. Even more impressively, Shaq held Chris Bosh to under 10 points while also getting 7 rebounds and 9 points all while playing under 20 minutes. The big question though is "does Shaq's presence even matter?" With Kendrick Perkins out for a few more months from his injury in Game 6 of the NBA Finals, Shaq and Glen Davis are going to be playing center to make sure the Celtics' record starts and stays excellent.

If the season opener can predict how a team will do for the rest of the season, then the Miami Heat are already a colossal failure. Of course, it's completely unfair to judge a team by their 1st game, but when Lebron James says "this is a work in progress," he isn't kidding. With all the star bench players hired in the off-season, clearing salary cap room to hire Lebron and Bosh, and making sure to keep Dwyane Wade, the Heat as a team failed in every aspect... with the notable exception of Lebron James who performed at his normal level other than more turnovers than usual due to sloppy play in the 1st half. If the Miami Heat want to not only win games, but win a championship, they need to fire Erik Spoelstra and replace him with Pat Riley who will be able to decide a far more proper substitution pattern.

Although slow to start, Lebron James eventually showcased exactly why he is the reigning 2-time MVP while Dwyane Wade utterly failed to make any impact and Chris Bosh was outplayed by 38-year-old Shaquille O'Neal.

The Lakers began their night by receiving their championship rings and raising their 16th championship banner in one of the better championship ceremonies I've seen in a long time. Still high on emotion from last season and the ceremony, the Lakers played pretty badly in the 1st half only to come roaring back in the 2nd half. The biggest question asked by fans in the offseason was probably "why did we get rid of Jordan Farmar to sign Steve Blake?" Blake managed to answer every question by scoring the game winning 3-pointer with a pass from Kobe that at first appeared to be planned for Pau Gasol. By keeping their starting five of Fisher, Bryant, Artest, Gasol, and Bynum, the 6th man Odom, a stronger bench replacing DJ Mbenga, Jordan Farmar, Adam Morrison, and Josh Powell with Steve Blake, Matt Barnes, and Theo Ratliff, and the 2 rookie gold mines of Derrick Caracter and Devin Ebanks, the Lakers have all but assured that not only will they reach the NBA Finals for the fourth time in a row, but will more than likely win yet another three-peat.

The hidden gem among the big names however, was the Houston Rockets. Yao Ming is back to a team that is very different than the one he last played on in the 2009 playoffs. No longer is Yao the center-piece, but part of a larger scheme excellently coached by Rick Adelman, probably the greatest coach in recent memory to not have ever won a championship. Even with Yao on the bench replaced by Brad Miller, formerly of the Chicago Bulls, the Rockets operate as a well-oiled machine. Later this season when Yao is better conditioned after having missed all of last season and hopefully playing far more than 24 minutes, the Rockets will be a serious contender in the West, far more than the unbelievably over-hyped Mavericks that always fail to deliver or the Thunder that made no move to get a better center in the offseason.

They have some kinks to work out, but the Rockets showed they are still a threat even without Yao.

Assuming nothing changes between now and the end of the season, the Lakers and Celtics are going to be playing a rematch Finals. Of course, some team that is rebuilding could shock everyone with a key trade in the middle of the season and take them to the brink of a championship. Stranger things have happened.

Giants Do It Again!

I almost shit my pants watching this game. Starting off with quite the fuck up in the 1st inning, the Giants managed to pull off this win by the seat of their pants. I couldn't believe Bumgarner and Lincecum both came out to relief pitch just to assure victory.

Needless to say with the Lakers season starting and the Giants in the world series, I won't be posting anything for a good while.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep - The Best Kingdom Hearts Since the Original

This review is truncated to avoid spoilers.

Gameplay: 10     The new Command system works absolutely beautifully with Kingdom Hearts' style of play. MP simply does not work in an action RPG and recharging abilities, both physical and magical, makes complete sense. Gameplay-wise, this is the best game in the series.
Story: 8.5     Clearing up several plot holes, loose ends, and partially setting up the events of Kingdom Hearts 3, Birth by Sleep also remembers it is the beginning of the story and makes sure (almost) everyone gets a proper introduction. Some problems arise by introducing new loose ends, most notably never giving any context behind the Keyblade War and an incredibly vague explanation as to why the Keyblades even exist. Despite that, knowing how KH has handled previous loose ends, Kingdom Hearts 3 will answer them just finely.
Presentation: 9.5     Put simply, other than Dissidia: Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep is the best looking and sounding game on the PSP. The only thing stopping it from getting a higher rating is having to listen to Aqua's voice actor for 40 hours. Willa Holland, a voice actor you ain't. Jason Dohring does a stellar job as Terra while Jesse McCartney continues to be excellent as Roxas Ventus. Nothing negative can be said about Mark Hamill as Master Eraqus and Leonard Nimoy as Master Xehanort. Haley Joel Osment does a surprisingly great job as the sinister Sora Vanitas.
Replay Value: 7.0     To see the ending of Birth by Sleep, you need to beat Terra's, Ventus', and Aqua's storylines, all taking anywhere from 20-40 hours each. A 60-120 hour game? You better believe it. Birth by Sleep is incredibly lengthy for a handheld game, utilizing recycled enemies and recycled environments with each character visiting one or two unique areas within each world. The next time I play through the entirety of Birth by Sleep is the next time I decide to play through Final Fantasy XIII in its entirety.

Overall Score: 8.8     Despite a few flaws in length and storytelling, Birth by Sleep proves to be more than just a cash-in and a wise decision by Square Enix to stop making games for mobile phones and develop them on more mainstream handheld devices. Easily the best game since the original, Birth by Sleep fixes problems in the gameplay that should have been fixed with the 2nd installment, but it isn't something that was fixed too late. Hopefully, Kingdom Hearts 3 will also use the Command system while fixing Birth by Sleep's story pacing issues. If you have a PSP and enjoy slashing the shit out of bad guys, Birth by Sleep is a must-buy.

Double Movie Review Coming This Week

I missed last week's movie review of the 40-Year-Old Virgin due to my trip to Kentucky, but I'll make sure to do a special double dose of Steve Carrell with the Virgin review as well as my Little Miss Sunshine review coming up later this week.

Giants Move on to NLCS for First Time Since 2002

Prepare your anuses, Phillies!

A Post About Sports? What!?

Yeah, it's been a while, but the world of sports has been incredibly slow, but October means EPIC SPORTS MONTH! The MLB Postseason begins later this week, we're 4 weeks into the current NFL season, and the NBA and NHL seasons begin later this month. As usual in the world of Enrique, 2 sports have me excited and the other 2 sports are either massive failures or are going to be massive failures.

In the world of baseball, the Giants have finally made the postseason for the first time since 2003. I'm not expecting them to reach the World Series, but at least making it to the NLCS would be great. I really don't expect them to be able to beat the Phillies, much less the Rays or Yankees, but hey, can't a fan hope?

He may be a pothead, but he could be the reason the Giants reach the World Series.

In football, the 49ers have been a massive disappointment. Even the sports "geniuses" over at ESPN can't explain why the 49ers are 0-4; most people predicted the 49ers to be 3-1 at this point of the season. The defensive line is as good as ever, the offensive line has been a huge improvement from last year, and Alex Smith has matured a lot as quarterback. The main problems have been Jimmy Raye's lack of desire to be on the sidelines during game time, needing to talk to the QB coach and then the QB coach speaking to Singletary, and finally Singletary talking to Smith. That problem was thankfully solved by firing Jimmy Raye. Although he was the best offensive coordinator the 49ers have had since 2002, he was also infamous for being difficult to understand by anyone other than his QB coach, who has become the new Offensive Coordinator in Jimmy Raye's departure. Another reason for the 49ers doing badly has been the Special Teams Unit. Ted Ginn Jr. did fantastically in the preseason, but the fucker just had to get injured for up to 2 months! In his place, a extremely mediocre wide receiver has been taking his place, where Michael Crabtree should be playing double duties of offense and special teams. Can the 49ers recover to win the NFC West, the worst division in football? It's possible if they decide to start caring!

Good riddance to you and your stupid hat!

In basketball, the Lakers are almost guaranteed to make it to the NBA Finals for a 4th year in a row. Despite all that, it seems that the regular season has been dubbed completely pointless with too many games and complete lack of concern as to how a team does unless they are in danger of not making the playoffs. This has been evidenced by Andrew Bynum putting off his knee surgery until after the World Cup and discovering his condition was much worse than anticipated and he will now miss the first 2 months of the regular season. As much as Lakers fans love Bynum, he's also incredibly frustrating because he keeps getting injured all the time! I really love Bynum's post play, but god dammit the kid keeps busting a knee! I'd love to replace Bynum, but the fact is that he is one of the last true centers playing basketball. He's proven his value as a traditional center by leading the Lakers to defeat 7 teams that lacked a true center in the past 2 postseasons and defeating one team that actually had a real center (The number would have been 6 teams if Yao hadn't gotten injured during the 2009 playoffs). Everything's going to be ok though, the Lakers got a much better schedule compared to last year where the beginning of the season was full of almost nothing but home games and the end of the season was almost nothing but away games.

It's a very bad thing that this image is no longer shocking. But, the kid got game.

In hockey.... the LA Kings are..... well, to put it simply, the Kings have never managed to match the success that they had in the Gretzky years. They've certainly improved their uniform since the silver & black days, but that's about all one can say about them. Sure, they make the playoffs every so often despite being a disappointment every year, but they've only made it to the second round once since reaching the Stanley Cup Finals back in the early 90s. Last year was probably the best the Kings have had since Gretzky's departure and there are some high hopes for the team this year. Unfortunately, they were not able to sign Ilya Kovalchuk to a contract during the offseason and he decided to sign a 15-year contract with the team he was already on, the New Jersey Devils. Despite all that, the Kings are still expected to make the playoffs for the 2nd year in a row, the first time they will have done so since Gretzky. I don't have any expectations for the Kings, but hey, if they can make it to the 2nd round, I won't hide that not only am I a hockey fan, but I'm a Kings fan.

Help us Dustin Brown, you're our only hope!

So there we have the prognosis of the Big Four sports. The SF Giants will at least make it to the NLCS, the 49ers have a shot of winning the NFC West as long as they start winning games, the Lakers are a shoe-in for a 4th consecutive appearance in the NBA Finals, and the LA Kings are more than likely going to make the playoffs for the 2nd year in a row. Sometimes, I hate that not all my teams can be as successful as each other. Such is the curse of being a sports fan in California...

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse is a direct sequel to Public Enemies in the sense that the original Public Enemies story was issues #1-6 in the Superman/Batman comic. Apocalypse is better known as The Supergirl From Krypton, covered in issues #8-13, the post-crisis origin story for Kara Zor-El. It is also probably best known as the final major story arc Jeph Loeb wrote before his 17-year-old son died of cancer and changed Jeph Loeb's writing style for what has seemed like an eternity. Like previous DC Animated Originals, the art style is directly based on the artist who drew the original story; in this case, the art is based on the late Michael Turner's art. Although Turner's art style was incredibly questionable, his run on Superman/Batman: The Supergirl From Krypton is known for being the only time in his career he ever drew interior art outside of Top Crow Productions or Aspen MLT.

Apocalypse begins with a news show explaining to the audience the aftermath of Public Enemies, that Lex Luthor has been impeached as President and is in prison (for the first time in post-crisis continuity), along with parlaying to the audience that Kryptonite meteor showers have been occurring in the Gotham/Metropolis region (The distance between Gotham and Metropolis is usually described as being about the same distance between Los Angeles and San Diego). The meteor showers, of course, are setting up the arrival of Kara Zor-El. Batman investigates the most recent meteor shower, discovering a Kryptonian rocket ship with a message written in Kryptonian, but the passenger is missing.

Throughout the movie, Kara deals with learning English in the course of a week, learning that her baby cousin is now older than her due to her being in suspended animation for 30 years, and dealing with partial amnesia due to PTSD, only able to remember the events from shortly before Krypton's destruction, and adjusting to her new superpowers on Earth while learning to fit in with Earth society.

The story is.... well, to put it bluntly, Apocalypse has an incredibly boring story. What Apocalypse does do well are the fight scenes, by far the best fight scenes seen in any Bruce Timm production. The final fight between Superman and Kara against Darkseid is particularly memorable as being the single best choreographed fight in western animation. What's most distracting about this movie are 2 things that should have been ignored: Using Michael Turner's art style and recasting Darkseid's voice actor. Turner was well-known for drawing women exactly the same and hyper-sexualized while drawing men to look more effeminate; it didn't work in the original comic and it continues to not work in animation. Darkseid's re-casted voice actor, Andre Braugher, falls incredibly flat as the villain that was so evil, Batman had to kill him in Final Crisis.

Final Score: 4 Supergirl Bare Midriffs out of 5
Despite its shortcomings, Apocalypse accomplishes everything it set out to do while also improving the story of The Supergirl From Krypton. The biggest reason I gave this movie a 4 instead of a 3 is because of the included bonus features detailing the origins of the New Gods and Supergirl and a new DC Showcase starring the Green Arrow.


The next DC Animated Original is DC Showcase Original Shorts Collection, which will have a main feature of a 22 minute Superman and Captain Marvel short titled Superman/Shazam!: The Return of Black Adam, featuring the return of George Newbern as Superman and Jerry O'Connell as Captain Marvel from Justice League Unlimited. Also included will be expanded versions of the previous DC Showcases, The Spectre, Jonah Hex, and Green Arrow, all previously having a runtime of 12 minutes each. The release date is November 9th and possibly the biggest incentive for buying this collection is that each of the DC Showcase shorts are drawn in Bruce Timm's animation style.

My Favorite Movie of 2004: Team America: World Police

2004, what a year! There were great movies, there were shitty movies (like every year), and then there was Team America: World Police. I have to start off by saying my 2nd favorite movie that year was The Aviator. The only reason Team America took the #1 spot is because I have yet to memorize the entire script of The Aviator. From the twisted minds of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park, Team America is mostly a satire on how American culture has changed since 9/11, but the main themes are more generally an acceptance of how American foreign policy is something of a necessary evil. Released only a month before the 2004 general election, many people expected the film to be mostly topical humor bashing both George W. Bush and John Kerry or maybe even Al Gore with his recent documentary, An Inconvenient Truth.

Surprisingly enough, in the world of the movie, the American government seems to be governed only by Team America, an organization made up of Lisa, a psychologist, her boyfriend Carson, Sarah, an alleged "psychic," Joe, a former high school quarterback from Nebraska (making him a natural born leader), Chris, the greatest martial arts expert from Detroit, their leader Spotswoode, and a computer named I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. (No, it's never stated what it stands for). The movie opens with Team America foiling a terrorist plot in Paris, France (while destroying the Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, and the Louvre), but sadly a terrorist manages to kill Carson just as he has finished proposing to Lisa. Seeking a replacement for Carson, Spotswoode finds talent in Gary Johnston, a Broadway actor currently starring in the play Lease. After eventually convincing Gary to join, the new Team America flies to Cairo, Egypt to foil another terrorist plot.

The rest of the movie proceeds to deal with Hollywood's reaction (specifically the Film Actors Guild, or F.A.G.) to Team America recklessly killing civilians and destroying historical landmarks just to kill a few terrorists who aren't even the masterminds of all the terrorist acts around the world. There are more terrorist attacks and more satire, but the real source of satire are the endless songs parodying animated movies like the South Park movie did.

Team America stands the test of time because it is not simply a criticism of the Bush Administration's policies, but American attitude toward foreign culture, American foreign policy since the 50s, and the overbearing attitude of far-left liberals and far-right conservatives. Next week its time to get a little sexual and dirty with a movie that made us re-examine our attitudes on sex, The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

I've been meaning to review this movie for some time now, what with Superman/Batman: Apocalypse coming out on Tuesday. Superman/Batman: Public Enemies is one of the most well-known stories to come out of DC Comics in the last 10 years that was all hype and no substance, but it is also now more well known for being one of the last stories Jeph Loeb of Batman: The Long Halloween and Batman: Hush fame wrote before his son died. The premise of Public Enemies is that the U.S. economy is in ruins, people are skeptical about their government, and most politicians can no longer be trusted. Seeing an opportunity to run as an outsider to the Washington system, Lex Luthor begins a campaign for president on the Independent ticket. Not far from what could have happened in real life, right? The only exception here, of course, is that superheroes exist in their world. During Luthor's inaugural speech, he sets out to make superheroes arms of the law and to charge other superheroes with vigilantism if they do not comply.

Obviously, Superman refuses because he will never trust Luthor and Batman simply doesn't trust anybody. Luthor knows that Superman will be untrusted towards him, so he goes to meet the man of steel in person, along with his lead bodyguard, Metallo. After Batman helps Superman escape from Metallo's assault, someone (seemingly) murders Metallo and all blame is put on Superman, whom is seen on surveillance camera attacking Metallo earlier in their fight. Luthor puts a $1 billion bounty on the pair, leading both villains and heroes to try to bring them down.

Superman/Batman: Public Enemies marks a little over 10 years since the last time we have heard Tim Daly as Superman alongside Kevin Conroy as Batman, last heard during the Superman: The Animated Series episode "The Demon Reborn." Hearing the pair gives me goosebumps, having flashbacks of when I was in 6th grade back when new episodes of The New Batman Superman Adventures were airing. Although the art can be a bit weird at times, everyone is drawn to look exactly as they did during the original Public Enemies storyline.

Final Score: 3 Superman Chins out of 5
While remaining faithful to the comic, Public Enemies takes plenty of liberties removing extraneous details, compacting the story to 70 minutes, and adding little bits of data here and there. Although the story of Public Enemies isn't the greatest thing in the world, the animation is just stellar and in typical Bruce Timm fashion, doesn't disappoint. There are plenty of cameos and fanservice moments that may cause some fans to squeal in happiness and others to squeal in disgust. Public Enemies should be taken at face value and nothing more than that. In my review of Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths, I did not recommend bothering with Blu-Ray because it was incredibly average fare. This time, I actually recommend getting the Blu-Ray because of how fantastic the animation and sound is.

Look for my Superman/Batman: Apocalypse review in the coming days!

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

In 1987, Oliver Stone made a little movie called Wall Street, a tale of Wall Street executives in the midst of the era of Reaganomics (Also, to my shock and utter disgust, Reaganomics is an actual word according to Blogger's spell check). Wall Street served as a cautionary tale, not to let greed get the better of us and to invest in good causes rather than fattening our wallets. The stand-out performance from that film was Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko, the infamous originator of the phrase, "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good." Douglas well-deservedly won an Oscar for his portrayal as Gekko, but the message of Wall Street was almost completely lost on 15-25 year-olds who were compelled to become just like Gordon Gekko and some would even thank Oliver Stone and Michael Douglas for helping them make a decision on a career. After the Clinton Surplus, it seemed that great things were coming and people had understood the message that Stone was trying to get across. Of course, not many people could have prevented an event like September 11th could happen...

After September 11th, the Bush Administration came up with the greatest excuse to get Americans to go out and shop while also generating near-permanent benefits for the Wall Street fat-cats and investment firms. Outraged that a government could turn its back on its own people while pretending to treat them like babies, Oliver Stone felt it was time to make a Wall Street 2. Thus began one of the most infamous Development Hell cycles in movie history. Although Stone had a clear idea on how the plot should go, most studios felt the film would not be relevant since the stock market was still doing well despite the hiccup after September 11th and the pop of the .com bubble. Of course, once the stock market nearly crashed in 2008, the studios jumped at the opportunity to get Wall Street 2 in theaters as soon as possible.

Not coincidentally, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps takes place in the weeks before the stock market crash of 2008 and subsequent bank bailout. Gordon Gekko is released from prison a few weeks after 9/11 and begins work rebuilding his name by writing a book, Is Greed Good? Predicting an imminent stock market crash due to the changes in Wall Street policy, the wars in the Middle East, and most significantly, the change in American attitude towards real estate development, Gekko hawks his book nationwide warning people that the only way for young people (meaning Generation Y) to save their financial future is to buy his book.

Outside of Gekko's part in the movie, the plot of this sequel is almost word-for-word identical to the plot of the original, just replacing Gekko and Bud Fox with new characters and slightly different circumstances. Although Gekko was the antagonist in the original, here he serves more as an anti-hero, warning people not to make the same mistakes he did. Along the way, Gekko reunites with his daughter in a scene where he refers to the way Wall Street is practiced as "cancer," in a speech that must have hit eerily close to home for Douglas, what with his very public battle with Throat Cancer and admitting that he was a terrible father to his son, Cameron Douglas.

While the last Wall Street ended with an intended finale of seeing Gekko get what he deserved in being sent off to prison for insider trading, Money Never Sleeps ends exactly as its subtitle describes. Through Bear and Bull, thick and thin, money never sleeps and life goes on. !SPOILER ALERT! At the end of the day, Gekko ends up making a donation with slightly illegal money to a company that is developing fusion technology rather than keeping it for himself. Realizing that being a grandfather will be the most important thing he does with his life, Gekko sees that greed is indeed good, but greed for one's family is more important than for oneself.

Final Score: 4 Too-Big-To-Fail Banks out of 5
In typical Oliver Stone fare, the film doesn't disappoint. One of the film's major problems is pacing; at times the film seems much longer than it really is. I expected the film to end about 20 minutes earlier, but Stone preferred a happy ending to bring hope to a new generation. This is one of Michael Douglas' best performances in years and it won't be a surprise at all if he ends up being nominated for the same role he previously won an Oscar for. As far as Shia LaBeouf? He actually does a great job and accurately portrays a middle-of-the-aisle Wall Street investor interested in his own profits as well as alternative fuel sources. Really, the biggest problem is the pacing.