Osama bin Laden's Death Causes People to Finally React with Their True Feelings

It hasn't even been a week since Osama bin Laden was killed and there are already conspiracy theorists saying that he isn't really dead. The horrifying part is that those people are inside of our own country. No, they're not Al Qaeda members, they're the people who work at Fox News. Since Monday, people like Andrew Napolitano and Glenn Beck have made allusions and insinuated that because the White House chose not to release the photo of a dead Osama bin Laden, there must be something that Barack Obama is hiding.

It's truly disgusting that these two assholes could suggest something like that. These two morons seem to know nothing about how military operations work, shocking especially for Napolitano since he once served as a justice for the New Jersey Supreme Court. On the other hand, it's not that shocking since Napolitano was a draft dodger, but continues to spew Libertarian rhetoric. Beck on the other hand, is just a tool hired by the RNC to spew fringe views and make money for the party.


Another silly thing has nothing to do with the conspiracy theories, but rather in how people reacted to Osama dying. There was cheer and jubilation in the streets, cheering for the death of the man responsible for the World Trade Center bombing, the USS Cole bombing, and the September 11th attacks. Last time I checked, we're a predominately Christian nation. According to scripture, cheering for the death of an enemy is just as bad as our enemy cheering for our death. Did any of that Bible stuff matter? Of course not, because young people are less religious than ever before. People my age really don't particularly give a shit about religion and will only claim to be a member of a certain religious group when it's convenient. So in the end, the cheering for the death of bin Laden wasn't just appropriate, it was natural.

Which brings us to the next moron, Rashard Mendenhall. In case you don't know who he is, he's a running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Mendenhall decided to spout his Christian bullshit saying we should never cheer for the death of another, but he also took time to spew his nonsensical "truther" nonsense. If you don't know what a truther is, they're the idiots who think that 9/11 was caused by the Bush administration detonating bombs at the World Trade Center and Pentagon to ensure that the twin towers would fall. The belief that a jetliner crashing into a building with full fuel would not cause it to collapse is just ridiculous. Mendenhall was extensively criticized for his comments and the Steelers organization put out a press release that Mendenhall's opinions do not reflect the face of the Steelers franchise. You can expect Mendenhall to be released from his contract if they feel that the locker room will be contentious whenever play resumes in the NFL.


Another AH HA! of this whole Osama bin Laden thing is how Pakistan has responded. When Obama was running for president, he made a somewhat controversial remark in the 2nd presidential debate that if he had intelligence that Osama bin Laden was hiding in Pakistan and the Pakistani government was unwilling or unable to help, he would go in anyway and kill bin Laden. Well, that exact thing happened and the US has officially said that it did not contact Pakistan until after they got Osama bin Laden's body out of Pakistani airspace, admitting that they violated their airspace and sovereignty.

Afterwards, in a "closed-door" session of Congress, CIA director Leon Panetta said that Pakistan was either "involved or incompetent," which is an opinion shared by the majority of Americans; either the Pakistani government was harboring bin Laden, or their military is so incompetent that they could not find bin Laden living a mile away from their nation's largest military academy. To have the Pakistani military be that incompetent is like something from Super Sentai. Only a Super Sentai villain could maintain prestige while constantly failing over and over again.

A reporter tried to get cute with White House press secretary Jay Carney today, asking if Panetta's opinion was one shared by the White House. Of course, the reporter stupidly mentioned that it was a "closed-door" session, to which Jay Carney asked if he meant that it was a classified meeting with no reporters. The reporter said yes, so Carney immediately replied, "Then I have no answer."


Watching these press conferences the last 2 days has been truly hilarious as reporters accuse the White House of presenting two stories with wildly different facts. The fact of the matter is that the two narratives are not that different and the 2nd one actually adds more details. Here are the discrepancies between the two stories:

Brennan's Version

• Other than bin Laden, 3 men and 1 woman were killed, none were civilians
• 2 men were couriers to bin Laden, one of which owned the compound
• The other man was one of bin Laden's sons
• The woman killed was used as a human shield, either willingly or against her will, and was assumed to be bin Laden's wife
• Bin Laden was armed with a gun and participated in the firefight
• Bin Laden was killed by a shot in the head above the left eye
• The operation took about 40 minutes
• The majority of the 40 minutes was spent collecting intel, which was described as a "treasure trove"

Carney's Version

• Other than bin Laden, 3 men and 1 woman were killed, none were civilians
• 2 men were couriers to bin Laden, one of which owned the compound
•  The other man was one of bin Laden's sons, but Brennan got the name wrong
• The woman killed was killed in crossfire, and is assumed to be the courier's wife
• Bin Laden's wife was in the same room as Osama and assaulted Navy SEALs and was shot in the leg; she survived
• Bin Laden was NOT armed, but may have been reaching for a gun when he was killed
• Bin Laden was shot in the chest and in the head above the left eye
• The operation took about 40 minutes
• The majority of the 40 minutes was spent collecting intel, which was described as a "treasure trove"

So what are the discrepancies?

• Bin Laden's son's name
• The identity of the woman killed
• Whether or not bin Laden was armed
• The amount of times bin Laden was shot

Is this really what journalistic integrity is about these days? YOU GOT HIS SON'S NAME WRONG, WHY DID YOU GET ONE OF HIS 56 CHILDREN'S NAME WRONG!? YOU SAID IT WAS HIS WIFE THAT DIED BUT NOW YOU SAY SHE'S ALIVE! WHO IS THIS OTHER WOMAN? YOU SAID HE WAS ARMED, BUT NOW YOU ADMIT TO SHOOTING AN UNARMED MAN! YOU SAID HE WAS SHOT ONCE BEFORE, NOW YOU SAY TWICE, WHICH ONE IS IT?

For the part of his son's name, who really gives a shit? The man has 56 kids, you can't expect for them to identify which one he is right away. As far as the identity of who the dead woman is, again, who cares? Bin Laden never shared details with his family about his work with Al Qaeda, so she wouldn't know his activities whether she was alive or not. As far as whether bin Laden was armed or not, again, who gives a shit? HE'S OSAMA BIN LADEN, YOU HAVE TO KILL THE BASTARD. Then, my favorite part, the amount of times bin Laden was shot. In the first version, they never actually said he was only shot once: they only said the shot to the head killed him; The 2nd version said he was shot twice.

Clearly, anyone with a brain can see that reporters try to spin the facts right after receiving them. Another offensive thing that White House reporters have been doing is trying to grill the White House for further details when they have repeatedly said there are still many details that need to remain classified.